Advised to stop BF but very sad - what would you do?

[Grayfig]

Hello all. We’ve been advised by our paed to consider stopping BF my wee 18 week old girl due to possible protein intolerance. Eliminating dairy and soy hasn’t really helped. She has mucousy stools with occasional blood and is quite often unsettled at night with poor day sleeps. He is not keen on elimination diets and suggested amino acid formula.

We worked very hard to establish EBF after topping up with formula from 2-11 weeks when she was slow to regain birth weight. It has been a tough time but now BF is finally easy and enjoyable for us both.

On the one hand, I obviously don’t want to harm her and know we both need more sleep. On the other, she is putting on 150g/week, happy in the daytime and developing well, loves BF and it’s the only way to reliably settle her. Also - she may still sleep poorly on formula anyway. I really feel so sad thinking about her searching for the boob and having to refuse her, and don’t want to forgo the other benefits of BF for her.

What would you do in this situation?

She's not bring**

It could be silent reflux.

Ok

Grayfig, glad to hear your little one is doing better. Like you, I would be doing everything I could to continue breastfeeding. It all sounds really positive.

MrsPanda, I'm dying for a cup of tea with real milk! And a bit over obsessing over food labels. The hardest test will be travelling overseas next month, not sure how I will manage things then.

Rainbow, thank you for your words of encouragement, I really need some.

Grayfig** are you on Facebook? If you join U.K. Breastfeeding and parenting support there are a lot of knowledgable mums following elimination diets on there.

Its irrelevant whether or not she enjoys BF, the question is what is best for her. If a toddler wanted a diet entirely consisting of chocolate, they'd probably enjoy it, but you wouldn't allow it.

If you breastfeeding is hurting her, and there are formula's which will stop that pain, and allow her to thrive better, then there surely isn't any question over what you should do. You are breastfeeding for your benefit, not hers, because what will benefit her the most is to be well.

Bluesky, and the other folks who can only see a black and white answer to this situation: firstly, I found out an old friend of mine put her baby on Neocate for the same reason on the advice of their doctor. The flecks of blood stopped but the unsettled behavior / crappy sleep continued (that's just who she was) and she is still unhappy years later that she made her daughter, who was otherwise thriving on BF, drink what she describes as "disgusting" tasting formula for many months.

Secondly, we saw the paed again yesterday. He said he did support mums' decision to continue BF in the cases he saw where baby is gaining weight and developing well (even if small amounts of blood continued), but felt that it was very tough doing an elimination diet and needs careful management. He actually had warm words of encouragement for the work I had put in to change a scrawny baby on the 2nd percentile (when she stopped formula topups actually) to a chubby little 19 weeker on the 9th.

Yes, I enjoy BF (mainly as she does, as it's actually limiting what I can do /eat and means way less sleep for me), but that does not mean I am doing this for me and ignoring my child's needs. Some may not see an indication to try further elimination in this situation, but I did, and I would advise anyone who is keen to BF for all its benefits to consider doing the same (up to a point and if their doctor agrees).

I'm glad your baby is gaining weight, but I really wouldn't call her chubby on the 9th percentile. It seems that there are improvements in her condition, but still a long way to go. If you want to carry on breastfeeding, fine, but if its making her bleed into her gut, then it really doesn't sound good for her. Maybe it is black and white - you do what you need to, in order to stop your child's gut bleeding.

Bluesky, she is chubby for her frame now with rolls and a little double chin - she looks like a different baby. I was born on the 0.4 percentile and was under the 2nd for my whole life, so she's never going to be a big girl. No blood now for almost 3 weeks, so hopefully we will continue like that.

I am now much reassured that following my instinct up to now was right for us, since the paed was so pleased with her progress and supported my decision. Had he "laid down the law" as he put it re: starting the formula, as he does when a baby is not thriving or is very distressed, then it would be a different matter. It's a dynamic situation and I still maintain it's complex and multifactorial.

Very glad to hear she's doing better. I'm dairy and soya free for my daughter, and 2 months in it doesn't really bother me anymore, I've found substitutes for the things I craved. It has also made weaning a lot easier as she can just have what we have as it's already dairy etc free, so hopefully you will find the same.