Feeling apprehensive about bf #2

[havingawobbler]

NC for this.
Basically I was very fortunate to successfully bf my dc1 until 20 months.

It was ruddy hard work and I cried too many times to count but ultimately it did us well, we have a great relationship and they are just about sleeping through.

I'm due dc2 soon and the plan is to try and bf again. I know there are no guarantees and it may not go to plan but dh has expressed a wish that "if possible"'to try and give them the same treatment as much as possible.

Only thing is dc1 was a bottle refuser and it took months before I could go to the hairdressers or even just pop out. It was quite suffocating and dh wasn't able to do much (not through lack of trying though).

I'm definitely going to try but has anybody else had a bottle refuser and then had a second dc that has taken a bottle? When did you introduce it? I read so much about not letting them have bottles till at least 8-10 weeks and not buggering about with my supply that I'm not sure when I could try this time?

My hv recommended introducing a bottle before 6 weeks. I started giving dd2 ebm once a day from 4 weeks. She's never had nipple confusion or anything. Dh liked to be able to give her the bottle too.

It didn't affect my supply either.

Thanks for replying @Whatsername17 I think having already got a toddler at home I'm just remembering being pinned down for hours on end and panicking a touch too 😱

How much ebm would you offer in each bottle?

In our case baby took a bottle early on (I was on a conference when he was about 2 months old!) and he was taking bottles then (still preferred it direct, mind). We got out the habit of giving him a daily bottle, though, and then at 6m when I was going back to work he ended up not taking one at all. I'll be intending to introduce a daily bottle as part of the routine this time as soon as bf is established. If it's only one bottle I don't think you'll muck much with your supply, provided you build in one 'express' a day (mine was first thing in the morning, when you have more milk anyway, after his feed. I only ever fed from one breast at a time and expressed from the other.)

Re how much, I don't think that's as much of an issue as just getting the baby used to the idea that it can come out of this other thing which is not you. I'd offer whatever I got out of the expressing that morning. If baby's still hungry after you can always offer breast.

That makes sense re: amount wise. I wasted so much bm with dc1 (though she has lovely skin from all those baths 🙈).

I could have written your post OP and I completely understand how you feel! DD2 is now 8 months old and, while she is definitely a big fan of the boob like her older sister, life has been much easier second time round.

I have been more confident in leaving her with my partner for short periods and from about 6 weeks I expressed a small amount for my mum to give her while I took DD1 swimming. Seems to have worked quite well.

Now we are onto solids, she will happily eat a little natural yoghurt and have a few sips of water until I return so I'm not even bothering to express anymore.

I'm going to the hairdresser on Saturday for highlights/ the whole works and I've not given it a second thought whereas first time round this would been a huge and insurmountable nightmare!

Congratulations, good luck and enjoy your new little one when he or she arrives

As much as I could get! About an ounce at first building up to 4oz. She'd take the bottle then the boob! Little piggy!

@Backhometothenorth ahhh thank you. That's made me feel better. I do wonder if a lot of the intensity from dc1 was because they were my first and it was unchartered territory.

I think I might pick up a manual pump and a couple of bottles and give it a go at about 4ish/6ish weeks. Thanks everybody ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I wouldn't even leave it that late to be honest. DD1 was a bottle refuser. It was incredibly stressful. I gave her a bottle at 2 weeks old which she took but when I tried again at 5 weeks she refused and then we had months of battles.

For DD2 and DD3 I gave a bottle from 1 week old (formula coz I couldn't be arsed pumping). Just a couple of oz but religiously every single day. DD2 was so easy to move into bottles when the time came.

DD3 is only 12 weeks but so far so good.

DS had a bottle every night from 8 weeks. I didn't bother expressing - he swapped without a worry

Thanks for the new replies guys. Eek two weeks to five weeks and they refused. Gosh. It really does seem to be the luck of the draw with some of these babies.

I won't be switching over entirely. I'm self employed and work from home anyway so there's no real need for me to get them truly bottle feeding/expressing regularly. This is purely for those occasional moments where I'm feeling a bit touched out/a rare date night etc.

Going to have a chat with dh about it. The whole bottle refusal thing with dc1 really knocked his confidence tbh and I think he's (understandably) apprehensive with number 2.

I think maybe half an oz/an oz (I was always quite fortunate with pumping) a day and have a word with the hv etc.

Though they told me to wait till 8 weeks last time 🙊