18 month old BF 8 x + per day. I'm exhausted... Help, please :(

[mamama]

It was such a battle to BF in the first place that I am so happy he has continued for so long. I really wanted DS to self-wean when he was ready, but I'm having a rough time with life in general and sometimes feel like I am just a milk machine!

I would really like to give DS a bit of a push to wean or at least cut down... any suggestions? Keeping him busy and out of the house used to help but even that doesn't distract him enough these days. I don't want to just stop BF, because I think my feeling like this is temporary, but I need to do something - I really can't manage atm.

I don't know what I was hoping by posting on here - I just need to vent really.

Sorry

The frequent feeding is probably a phase. ds (21 months) also did this at that sort of age, but has 'cut down' by himself really. Sometimes he still asks for milk very frequently, and I will distract him with something very interesting or even, on occasion, gently say 'not now, sweetheart, it's nearly time for lunch/we're just about to go out/whatever' - and usually he accepts that. I'm not aiming to wean him either (am 12 weeks pg though, so will be interested to see what he does as the pg progresses).

Oh my ds went mad at around that age mamama. He still feeds on demand at nearly 2yo, but doesn't ask quite so much. It does calm down eventually. I found it easiest just to feed when ds wanted, because refusing just made him want it more... It is really draining and exhausting at times, but I found it got better when I accepted that it was just a phase.

Do you have any bf support groups near you?

Oh my sympathies mamama. I'd had enough of the constant bf'ing by 11 months, and managed by 12 months to get her down to just twice a day . I went with the distraction thing - going out worked best, and she soon upped the amount of solids she ate, until one by one I had cut out all of the daytime feeds. I think the key if you want to do this is to be consistent though, so that he knows when to expect and when not to.

Best of luck.

Sincere sympathies. My DS (now 5) wouldn't take solids until 13 months and then still majority BF and always on demand. I did wean at 25 months, by which stage I was desperately exhausted. One thing that did help with stepping up solids/stepping down BF was picnics. Summer is coming so perhaps you could try the same. I found he'd eat more either in formal picnics or snacking in his pushchair than he would ever do in his high chair. He didn't cut down BF that much, but it meant that he didn't step it up either. When I did wean it was sudden. At 2 he understood what I said. I told him we'd be stopping soon whilst on the breast. He broke off and shook his head, I reaffirmed. Then he caused me such pain with careless BFing that I simply said no more one day. A day or two of protest one weekend, I simply left him with dad and pots of fromage frais.. the start of another 2 year addiction. (sorry this is getting long). Anyway upshot is now eats very healthily, and seems fitter and stronger than other boys in his class. It's a tough job you're doing so hang on in there and vent as much as you like!

oh i know what you are talking about: going though the same thing with ds2 atm. he goes to nursery during the day, but as soon as i pick him up he wants to bf, and he can hardly wait until we get home(6pm). then usually again during dinner (6:30pm), at bedtime (7pm), at my bedtime (10pm), at midnight, at 2am, 4am, 6am.... i can't remember that ds1 ever went through a phase like this,... maybe when ds2 was born? i am getting exhausted!
Does your ds also want to feed at night? or is he just asking during the day (ds2 is like that during the day at weekends). fortunately, ds2 is quite easily distracted, if we go swimming, to playground or something like that he forgets. i have now started to take ds2 into our bed again at night, as co-sleeping means that i can just doze off while he helps himself .
no real advice from me really, i'm sorry. just that ds1 self-weaned at 27 months, but that's probably not something you'd like to hear (as that would mean 9 more months ).
is there anything that your ds really likes to drink? i guess you could try giving him some juice (or just milk, my ds2 really loves cow's milk) in a cup/beaker, and then praise him into the skies for drinking that in stead of bm. so sorry i can't be of more help, but i do feel for you .

Thanks for the replies - I was really hoping for a magic solution but sympathy is greatly apprectiated! It's reassuring (I think) to know that other toddlers do this.

I might try juice or cows milk & tons of praise for a few feeds. I know BM is best but I feel like this is ridiculous! He does want to feed during the night too but for the past few nights I have refused to get up [terrible mother emoticon], so he fusses for a few mins, not really crying, and then goes back to sleep.

Picnics is also a good idea - we do that sometimes. The only thing that really seems to distract DS is food but I don't want to get into him eating all day long for comfort etc - I'm sure the constant BF is not about nutrition. And it is nice really, I know I am lucky but I just want a day where I am not prodded and poked by someone shoving their head down my top

I might look into our local La Leche meeting too. Good suggestion, thanks!

Mama,no way are you a terrible mother for not wanting to breastfeed a toddler through the night!
It is completely appropriate to call time on this.

Have you tried wearing inaccessible clothing?

Not sure clothing would help Moondog, but might try it. Am willing to give anything a go atm! Thanks