Sorry this is longer than I intended when I first started writing. Sure it's not all relevant to your question but has been kind of cathartic for me to write it all down. Please take from it the bits that are of any use to you. I went on to have 2 more who were completely breastfed from day one with no problems so it didn't put me off!
Yes, almost exactly 10 years ago (her birthday was on Tuesday!)
Discharged from hospital day 2, several midwifes watched us feed in hopsital and told me she was bfing perfectly.
Day 3 she screamed and screamed and screamed all night (best part of 14 hours), we thought something was seriously wrong, 1st time parents, no idea why she was screaming. Called midwife out in the morning (on a Sunday, not my regular community midwife), she advised getting some formula and cup feeding. Did that and she wolfed it down.
Continued with bfing as not told any different.
Day 5 home visit by regular midwife, she had lost 14% of birth weight so she sent us straight back to postnatal ward (not via A&E). Specialist BF midwife took one look at baby and said, she's too weak to feed. Here's a pump, got gallons out straight away and bottle fed the ebm. Turns out though she looked like she was feeing beautifuly, she was not actually sucking at all, and being a 1st time mum, I had no idea what bfing was meant to be like. Essentially she had been starved since birth.
We were both kept in hospital in a side room, basically putting baby to breast 40 mins, topping up with EMB 40 mins, change, put baby down, pump 20 mins, me sleep. Repeat every 3 hours. We also visited the BF clinic at the hospital everyday.
We were kept in for 5 days, I very nearly lost my mind. I've never cried so much in my life, in the day when DH was there it was ok but overnight, having literally 20 mins sleep before having to wake up again and start the feed//change/pump cycle again was like torture.
Emotional support was not really there on the ward, there was a little at the bf clinic, they really did try hard to help me get her to feed. One night as dh was leaving, one of the midwifes/nurses did stop him and say ' does your wife normally cry a lot?'. He told them he'd seen me cry once in 10 years prior to that which I think shocked them a bit.
In the end they agreed to discharge us even though she still wasn't breastfeeding properly as 'we can see you aren't going to starve her'. We were still on 3 hourly breast/bottlefeed/change/pump cycle. At least at home I had dh to help with the nights. He used to feed her emb from a bottle while I pumped next to them in bed.
At 6 weeks I lost my supply completely due to my own silly fault. Thought baby was bfing properly so ditched the bottles and stopped the pumping. She wasn't. Supply dried up and baby got to the very end of my frozen supply of ebm. Cue more crying, both her and me! Pumping every 3 hours without fail for 72 hours got it back again. At that point I stopped putting her to the breast at all and just pumped and fed ebm. That saved 40 mins time each feed so left more time for fun stuff.
At 12 weeks it was all just too much, I'd tried as much as I could but couldn't go on pumping indefinately. I got bottles and formula and gave baby a 'talking to'. Told her we were going to do breastfeeding just one more time, just to reassure me that she really couldn't do it. And do you know what, bloody pickle, she did it. At 12 weeks old, having never breastfed properly and having only had breastmilk from a bottle for the last 6 weeks, she breastfed.
From that day on, she never had another bottle again, ever. We breastfed until about 13 months without any more problems at all.
Those 1st 6 weeks were defintely my darkest ever days. I really struggled to bond with her and though I'd never tell her, it took until she was about 4 years old before I really felt I bonded with her. I definately think those early feeding issues were a part of that.