Breastfeeding misery!

[Ivy7550]

Hi All,

Just wanting to vent a bit really & hear some other people's experiences.

My son is now almost 5 weeks old and we are still struggling horribly with breastfeeding. Have had a few hurdles to get over so far - ended up in the neo natal the day he was born, got out next day but then got jaundiced so had to go under the therapy lights for a few days, we ended up in hospital for a week - was so happy to finally escape! He struggled to latch on properly from the very beginning and we ended up having to give formula to get him off his drip in the neo natal, then to flush out the jaundice. I tried to BF at the same time but it wasn't going well, took a while for my milk to come in (lost quite a bit of blood during birth) and then I got really severe engorgement so he couldn't latch on. Once that settled down (after 6 days!) I persevered but was just so painful and my poor nipples were just in bits, worst pain ever! They then discovered he had a tongue tie so that got snipped, made a bit of a difference but still really damaging my nipples no matter how many professionals helping me with latch/positioning and saying it looks good! Have been using shields for last 2 weeks which had allowed me to push through and I would say I'm doing 90% of his feeds from the breast now, but pain is still really bad with them - although nipples don't look damaged which is weird?!

Have got to the place now that I dread every feed and sometimes in the evenings I can't take it and have my husband give him formula (when I can't express enough) which I feel horribly guilty about have been treated for thrush as I am getting a burning/itching feeling during and after feeds as well, but doesn't seem to have made a difference. HV says he has a super strong suck as he actually pulls my nipples through the top of the largest size of shield you can get, eek! I feel like he always wants to feed at the moment as well which makes it even harder.

Just feeling so low about it and weeping all the time. I think about giving up and just formula feeding every day but then I think I would feel so guilty and that I would be judged for it - so I don't know what to do! Feeling like such a failure my husband wants me to stop but the thought makes my heart break. Driving myself mad searching the Internet for how to fix the problem!

Anyone been in the same boat??

Sorry that was so long needed to offload a bit I think!

Not familiar with that particular pump, but remember getting a little is normal. If you keep up with it, it'll keep your supply up. Make sure you're drinking lots of fluids, eating enough, some women find looking at or holding baby while pumping works. Try not to get worked up about the time it's taking or the (at first small!) amount you'll be getting out. Remember it'll be stimulating your supply too, which is still in the process of regulating.

Next time you see midwife / other healthcare professional ask if they think the pump is fitting you properly too - I know the pump I used had different sized funnels, for different sized breasts. You could also ask them if they think (as they'll have more experience with it than me!) that the hospital grade ones would be better.

Hi Ivy, yes I have been there too!!
TT snipped at five days but I had another 2 months of painful feeding, lumps, mastitis etc.
At six weeks a BF drop in advisor swiped a finger under my DDs tongue and said my DDs TT hadn't grown back and helped with positioning. But still pain. Everyone said latches looked great but I had to wince through every feed. And DD took an hour to feed each time.
At 8 weeks I had her checked again by the frenuleclotwgatever there name is that had originally corrected her TT and she said there was still thick tissue tethering the tongue either side. She could only see this by laying DD down, shining a light in and isolating the flesh around the tongue. Had it snipped again (thick posterior tie) and feeds very quickly improved. But the first few months were miserable.

I'm not saying that this is the same as your little one but unless the HV that told you the TT was fine is someone who is trained to remove them, I wouldn't necessarily take that as gospel.
I too thought i had thrush as mega itching and shooting pains but the TT specialist said it could be my grazed nipples healing and being itchy and the nerve pain from poor DD desperately trying to feed. Again, not suggesting this is the case with you but it made sense when applied to my situation.

We gave DD some bottles of formula as i (and my nipples) would have runaway for good had we not. I understand that drive to BF but it's not worth your mental health or enjoyment of your daughter.
Combi feeding seems to be what lots of people do but there is so little information around it. Hope things get better soon

I know exactly what you mean about feeling that overwhelming urge to BF - rationally I knew FF would be fine (and looking back on it now it feels like a non-issue) but I that emotional drive to keep going with BFing despite it not really working out can be intense!

We had a raft of problems and I ended up 50-50 mix feeding - which is the best of both worlds in many ways (and the worst of both worlds in others!) and it worked well for us. Good luck!

Ps. Re pumping: I really struggled to let down into the pump sometimes, even though there was milk there. I couldn't relax into it! So don't assume the amount you pump reflects your supply.
Some people are happy to pump, I found that just as miserable and so we gave formula feeds a few times so I had an actual break from being a milk factory.
Whilst you're in it, it feels all consuming but in a couple of weeks or months you'll probably be worrying about something else.

I'm late reading these but I hope you are getting on ok. I'm 6 weeks into life with my baby girl and BF is so tough. Like many others I had a difficult birth (complicated c-section) and on day 5 we were readmitted to hospital with my little one having lost 14% of her birth weight. I was told my milk cane in late and the breastfeeding latch etc was fine. A week late still no gain and we topped up each feed with formula. She's only regained her birth weight plus 3oz this week and I'm so relieved. Like so many I feel guilty about the formula and I have no idea why. I'm now Bf, expressing and giving formula. I feel so much better I know she's getting the nutrition she needs but do feel like I've let her down all these weeks by not giving her what she's needed and I guess by not being able to provide her with that myself through BF. I'm hoping my milk supply will increase by adding expressing but if I have to continue with formula then I will- posts here have really helped me see that's no bad thing.
Good luck on your feeding journey- just do what's right for you both!