Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Struggling with newborn breastfeeding!

30 replies

TootsieBootsie · 28/12/2016 19:49

My DD is 3 days and I'm struggling with breastfeeding!
Generally in the day she is ok but is getting more fussy when trying to latch on. She roots so I offer her boob, but she'll either not latch on and then scream or just latch on for a second then come off and scream. It's much worse at night and I gave in to formula last night as it got quite distressing and I was worried she was starving and I wasn't able to feed.
I've spoken to midwives about it and they aren't concerned at present....just wandered if anyone else has experienced similar? Any advice much appreciated!

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 28/12/2016 20:23

Congratulations on the little one!

Do you know if your milk has come in? Was she latching better and now has more problems? Has she been checked for tongue tie? This can really affect the latch. Reflux can also cause pain which leads to babies refusing to latch on.

Can you access help in RL? It can be very helpful to have someone knowledgeable look at your latch and show you the exaggeratedly latch, different positions etc.

Namechanger5432121 · 28/12/2016 20:30

Hi! Sorry to hear you are having problems already. As PP said, try to access RL support from either a baby brasserie (if you have them in your area) or NCT group?
Not sure if you are on fb but if you are, search for the group called Can I breastfeed in it - off topic. So many knowledgable mums on there with tons of advice!

Isadora2007 · 28/12/2016 20:34

Part of the fussing and "raging "
As I called it- is to bring your milk in and is totally normal even though it's distressing. Please don't keep going to formula though as if your baby doesn't get the time sucking then your milk supply won't respond accordingly. A newborn baby's tummy is literally tiny so she won't starve honestly.
I would definitely try to get some actual face to face BF support. And you're doing fab so far. So well done.

smellyboot · 28/12/2016 20:35

My DD was similar and had formula at 3 days to get fluid into her. She did eventually get the hang of BF but support for me from friends and a great MW... access help locally and get some one to sit with you and help. Do not panic. Do not get upset. Its actualy a huge advantage if baby can take both FF and BF !!!!

MooPointCowsOpinion · 28/12/2016 20:39

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!
Establishing breastfeeding can take some effort and it can be a bit frustrating, but it's so worth it when you get past this difficult first bit.

It could be any number of reasons, but it's most likely nothing to worry about, just keep offering. In all likelihood your milk is about to come in for real and she needs to feed like mad to encourage it, frequent little feeds all through the day and night get the milk to come.

If you want you could lay side by side tummy to tummy so she has free access and can latch on and off as she wants, and you can doze.

mikado1 · 28/12/2016 20:41

Agree with get real life support but I am going to say what I wish someone had said to me at 3 days on my first : all (for me anyway) you've described is very normal and it's not forever, this will not be your life forever more!! I think night 2-5 were like this and very quickly, once milk in and we got comfortable , things improved. Keep baby on you , font ve worried about getting them into Moses basket etc (this was my mistake), feed and keep them close and take a long, deep breath before every feed. I personally wouldn't substitute with formula at this early stage as it could sabotage things. Congratulations and well done so far!

AlbusPercival · 28/12/2016 20:42

Three days in with DS was the worst day ever, all he did was scream.

Turned a curve on day 4 and now 7 weeks in bf is easy, hang in there and get local support

BlackSwan · 28/12/2016 20:44

And if breastfeeding doesn't work for you - formula is fine. I persisted as long as I could, but less than 2 weeks in I threw in the towel. Thank God for formula.

mikado1 · 28/12/2016 20:59

To be fair, a two week settle in time would be expected blackswan, so it's worth the op persisting at such an early stage, assuming she wants to bf, the hard graft of the first weeks are completely normal and ime, worth it.

PastysPrincess · 28/12/2016 21:02

I really struggled with breastfeeding to start but ended up feeding him until 19 months so there is definitely hope.

It took about 4 days for my milk to come in but even when it did I couldn't get his latch right. It turned out he had a posterior tongue tie which was stopping him from latching properly.

In my area there are Sure Start centres which run breastfeeding groups. I would highly recommend getting support from real physical people.

Dont worry, babies only need a tiny amount of milk at this age. I did supplement with formula but only a very little amount and only when it was a last resort; however, we didnt use bottles, we used a technique called cup feeding. It means you can get some nourishment in them but you dont risk confusing them with a teat.

It really is so so hard and I nearly gave up so many times but you will get there!!

Original poster
TootsieBootsie · 28/12/2016 21:57

Thank you everyone, so glad I'm not alone. I was so upset giving bottle yesterday as I really want to bf as I failed at it with 1st baby, i was just was worried.
She has nipple in her mouth but just goes kind of frantic and won't latch....it's so difficult!
If I spend tonight having the same battle I'll go and see midwives tomorrow.
I've assumed she's been checked for tongue-tie, MW did the checks the day after.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 28/12/2016 22:12

The good days will very quickly outnumber the bad. Good luck and definitely seek help sooner rather than later if concerned, I only to be told all is fine, that in itself is hugely reassuring I found: this is normal, teething problems etc, you will get there!

PastysPrincess · 28/12/2016 22:26

Don't assume anything with tongue tie. It's not on the list of checks that are routinely performed. I had a huge battle getting my sons diagnosed; he was seen by 16 paediatricians, GP's, Midwives, etc. and they missed it because they aren't experienced in breastfeeding specifically.

Artandco · 28/12/2016 22:30

Strip baby down to nappy and keep her skin to skin with you as much as possible also. Add blanket ontop to keep warm

Pobblewithnotoes · 28/12/2016 22:38

With my first it felt like I had to wrestle him on for the first 9 days. It was agony for the first two weeks but I persisted and carried on feeding for 15 months. Even with my second I still hated the feeling for the first two weeks but enjoy feeding now. Was worth the struggle.

mikado1 · 29/12/2016 22:05

How's day 4 been OP?

Original poster
TootsieBootsie · 30/12/2016 01:55

Last night not so good!
Spoke to midwife today who isn't concerned and said it's normal behaviour,baby is still learning and it should improve when milk comes in etc.
Have bought a breast pump now to help keep supply up and give me help if it continues as the constant latching on and off is really hurting!!!

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyToddler · 30/12/2016 08:31

Hope you've got plenty of lansinoh OP - slather it on before and after every feed! Will really help keep your nipples intact. And good luck, it can be hard to start with. I remember well those feeds when you're gritting your teeth waiting for the discomfort to subside (even with a perfect latch).

Your milk will probably be in today so hope you're not feeling too engorged. It can help to hand express a little off before feeds if your boobs are really full - stops the baby just bouncing off!!

Original poster
TootsieBootsie · 30/12/2016 19:17

Yes, got my tube at the ready!!
I'm getting there, today has been good and last night there was nearly a routine to her waking and no screaming fits. I don't want to tempt fate though, will see how tonight goes now!

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyToddler · 30/12/2016 19:46

Well done. Good luck tonight then

mikado1 · 31/12/2016 09:33

Good woman! Try not to worry about a routine just yet!!

Original poster
TootsieBootsie · 31/12/2016 21:31

I'm not worried about routine really, just feeding on demand. Midwife saw her today and she's dropped quite a bit from birth weight but she's not concerned at the mo but will hopefully gain a bit before I see her again in a few days!
Happy new year to you all and thanks for the advice and support Smile

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyToddler · 02/01/2017 19:32

Hope things are getting easier OP?

Original poster
TootsieBootsie · 02/01/2017 22:56

Yes they are thank you Smile
Weighed today and gone up in weight which had made me a little less anxious. She's feeding much better now especially at night but falls asleep and then wakes as soon as I try to put her down but that's another story!!!

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyToddler · 03/01/2017 00:37

Fantastic news - well done!

The waking up as soon as you try to put her down is just her getting you trained Wink