Anyone with experience of breastfeeding/weaning a nearly 3 year old?

[perfectlybroken]

DS2 (2.7) is an extremely enthuiastic breastfeeder (if I sit down, there he is!). He is bf to sleep and back to sleep when he wakes in the night. I have recently gone back to work full time, and as soon as we get home, he bfs for about half an hour.
I'm really not sure what to do. I could carry on and see if he self weans. I feel like this might be better for him emotionally, as it seems it is quite a big part of his feeling secure etc. I weaned DS1 at 2.4, mostly due to thinking this was a religious requirement of the religion I follow but I've since learnt this isn't the case. DS1 is a very calm character and accepted the weaning with barely a cry. DS2 is a different story, if I say no to him he makes his feelings known! So in some ways it would be easier not to wean!
On the other hand, he doesn't eat that well, and I worry that this is because he is still getting full on breastmilk and it might be better for him to have more of an appetite. Also he wakes between 1-3 times a night, perhaps he wouldn't if I weaned. I worry I am preventing his development in these areas by not weaning.
The other factor is my in laws who live abroad. They were quite shocked when we last visited and I was still breastfeeding, and I think they will be beside themselves if we go when he is nearly 3 and we are still at it! My MIL thinks that BFing older children makes them ill. They are really nice people but cultural differences make it difficult to deal with these things.
I would love to hear others experiences on bfing/weaning a child of this age. If I do wean, I will definitely do it gradually, not cold turkey, so would be interested to hear how others did it, how long it takes etc.

I weaned mine at 2y 10m - he was very similar to yours. He was upset at first, but got over it very quickly, and by the time his brother was born 6 months later he had forgotten he ever did it and found me breastfeeding the baby hilarious!

I only weaned because pregnancy made feeding totally intolerable to me. I was really worried about but it was fine in the long run.

Thanks mummy that's interesting. I worry about how upset he'd be and that it might cause long term psychological harm (!) but perhaps some kids are just more expressive!

Ps I day weaned first then tackled nights. He now sleeps through! (18 months later). I made up a stupid story about the fairies taking the milk away. He hates fairies to this day (though he doesn't remember why).

I breastfed my DS until his 3rd birthday - I told him he would be a big boy at 3 and big boys don't need mummy's milk anymore.
I told him a while before and kept reminding him that his birthday was coming up.

He was by then only feeding once before bed so it made it easier - we had a rule from about 2.5 that he could only have boob in bed. (He still would ask during the day, and would leap on me if I sat down so I had to stand around a lot for a few month

on his birthday itself we bought him a great present (truck or something? can't remember it was nearly 15 years ago LOL! ) and told him no more boob. He cried and cried that night, but the next day, he didn't even ask.

That was how we did it, anyway, hope you can find the best way for your situation

I did until 3 years. But never fed to sleep even from newborn so was fairly simple to stop. I think you need to stop feeding to sleep first before stopping fully later

I weaned my two year old who was very attached to breastfeeding. We had night weaned first and then I started cutting down one feed per day. When we got down to one feed I picked a significant date (her birthday) and told her that would be her last day of breastfeeding and afterwards she could have milk in a cup/bottle. We then gradually cut down the milk drinks she was having afterwards. (I felt that way we weren't taking about both the act of breastfeeding and the milk at the same time iyswim) That gave her plenty of time to prepare for it. I think it's common to worry about the reaction of a very emotive child, but remind yourself he is just a child and while his emotions may be strong you can help him work through it and he will be fine.

I weaned my DD starting shortly after her 2nd birthday, again she was a voracious feeder. I night weaned first, she started sleeping for much longer blocks (though began getting up for the day silly early). I used the book "milkies when the sun shines".

Then I cut down her day feeds, partly just by keeping very busy. Then we got down to first and last thing, then just before bed, then I think my milk pretty much dried up so I said 'no, all gone'. Took about four months altogether, with a few backward steps along the way, but it was surprisingly painless.

Funny how different everyone is - my bedtime feed to sleep was the last one to go :)

Stop the feed when you come home from work first. You need to change the routine, so find something else that he enjoys that you can do together when you get home as a substitute.
I found the easiest way to stop the feeding to sleep was to have someone else put them to bed for a few nights. Establish a new pattern then you should be able to follow it too.
I am sure he will protest - my youngest certainly did but if you want him to self settle at night you will have to persevere and not give in to what seems the easy option. Having support from your partner to step in and distract your son before he gets upset will help a lot.

he hates fairies to this day
Yeah, I think for us the feeding to sleep might be the last to go. Partly because, with me back at work, there's a huge chunk in the day which is already sorted (apart from the weekends, where he likes to make up for lost time!). I think it as much about weaning myself as weaning him really, I'm very lazy and will always take the easy option, so I'm thinking I might do a step by step plan, reducing the time when I'm willing to feed him gradually over a period of a few weeks. This makes more sense than stopping one feed at a time, as there is not really a pattern to the feeds.
It's nice to hear that others have got past this hurdle!

He sounds very like my DD. I couldn't drop one feed at a time as she didn't feed at set times. I think once I'd cracked nights I went down to something like first thing (so I could lie about in bed a bit longer) once after breakfast (so she could nurse when I had a cuppa), after lunch, which was ok because the morning was busy with getting washed dressed out to playgroup then home and lunch, once mid afternoon, then bedtime. Then dropped slowly from there

garden It sounds like a good idea to first drop it down to the feeds that are most difficult to avoid and then take it from there. I might try that instead of my time plan,