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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

why breastfeed a toddler?

88 replies

workstostaysane · 16/02/2007 13:41

i'm hoping to bf till a year or so. dd is now 7 months but after reading some threads am just wondering why people bf toddlers. surely they get all their nutritional needs from a well balanced diet by then? why continue?

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 17/02/2007 12:07

Oh beansprout I was not trying to say that people should do it if they don't feel comfortable about it

I completely understand, it is often the best way just to carry on doing what you do in a quiet and unobtrusive way rather than keep having public showdowns about it

I just wanted to comment it is ok to feed in public as well, if you like, as the thread was mostly about people who had decided to stick to feeding only in private

beansprout · 17/02/2007 12:07

It's good to hear that F&Z. I was very self-conscious when ds was a newborn as well, so it's really about how I feel rather than anything anyone has ever said. Perhaps I just need to get over myself!! I will try and keep an open mind and see what happens!

beansprout · 17/02/2007 12:08

Oh I know F&Z, I know it's not your style to tell others what to do. I haven't taken anything you have said in that spirit!

FrannyandZooey · 17/02/2007 12:10

"I know it's not your style to tell others what to do"

moving swiftly on....

I think it is easier the more you do it. I remember feeling terribly shy when ds was fairly tiny, to the extent I used to leave wherever we were (pub, park, people's house!) and go and sit in our van with curtains drawn when I wanted to feed.

beansprout · 17/02/2007 12:11

What? What have I said?!

FrannyandZooey · 17/02/2007 12:19

No I just mentally scanned some of my recent posts and felt it unfortunately was my style to tell people what to do

kittypants · 17/02/2007 12:38

i was unable to bf after 5/6 weeks but wish i had,and think if your able to ,why give up at whatever age just because others dont agree.whatever works for you and yours is my opinion!a friend of mine bf her 2.5 y/o at play group,you can hear people gasp as they realise whats shes doing!

beansprout · 17/02/2007 12:38

Oh, sorry, I haven't seen any of those! It was a genuine comment on my part!

yellowrose · 17/02/2007 13:53

WHY ? because it has been done by humans for 1000's of years so is in fact the biological norm/urge for both mother and child to allow self-weaning.

the health benefits do exist and there is loads of research on it which i can't be bothered to dig out right now - if you excuse my anecdote - ds is the only toddler i know among family and friends who hasn't had flu, ear infection, chest infection, tummy bug, vomitting, etc. he has suffered from a max. of 5 minor colds (always contracted from close contact with other children) since he was born. he is 2.7 yo and i am allowing him to self-wean.

Original poster
workstostaysane · 17/02/2007 20:47

if only 28% of uk women bf after 6 months, then there can surely only be a very few who continue into toddler-dom (not that thats any reason not to of course). i guess several of them are of them are on mumsnet.
F=Z, how old are yours? did you tandem feed?
still not convinced by the tandem feeding lobby - there seems to be very very few of them about, despite the encouraging pics on kellymom.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 17/02/2007 21:05

Ds is 4 in April and has just now self-weaned, this week!

I didn't tandem feed, no. He's my only child so far - partly because I have found meeting his needs quite an intense experience

There are a few tandem feeders on MN, and I personally know 3 women currently tandem feeding in RL, but two thirds of children will self-wean during pregnancy, often due to changes in the milk.

If you are really interested in finding out more about long term and tandem feeding, attending a La Leche League Meeting would be useful to you, I think. It can normalise something that sounds odd or bizarre, if a woman is sitting doing it in front of you while you chat over a cup of tea

hercules1 · 17/02/2007 21:18

because it is physiologically normal. Why wouldnt you?
It's not actually extended feeding to feed toddlers but curtailed breastfeeding and unatural if you stop them before they naturally wean.

I fed ds till he was 4 and dd to 3. It was my choice to stop the feeding so even I curtailed it.

World average for weaning is 4.

hercules1 · 17/02/2007 21:19

Btw I have nothing against doing unnatural things.

CorrieDale · 17/02/2007 21:20

I think lots more women bf toddlers than admit to it. There are two others at the small playgroup I go to, and those are only the ones I know about!

RE: tandem feeding. I'm 5 months pregnant, and DS is nearly 20mo. We've been down to one last bedtime feed for over 6 months and I was hoping that DS would have self-weaned by now, spurred on by my pregnancy. But he's powering his way through the changing taste and the diminishing quantity of my milk, and tandem feeding is becoming more likely.

The thing is, I don't really want to wean him off something that he likes and that does him good when he's not feeling well. He never feeds during the day unless he's ill, but he really likes his bedtime feed. I have been (somewhat half-heartedly) trying to encourage him to wean off that feed, which mostly involves offering him cocoa instead. Tonight he batted away the cup and asked for 'nunny' (no idea where he got the word from BTW, but it's better than booby!) so I'm not hopeful he's any more enthusiastic about this than I am.

My only concern with tandem feeding is that I'd like him to stay over at MIL's within the next few months, so that he can get used to staying over before I go into labour. And DH thinks that it's a bit unfair to expect MIL and PIL to cope with DS not getting his bedtime feed, as well as with the new environment, different faces, etc. I can definitely see his point, but because I think that tandem feeding would probably be OK, it just feels to me as though I'd be weaning him just for the sake of a couple of nights when I wouldn't be there.

Apologies for the dithery post - I think that when you're careering towards having to make a decision one way or another about weaning, no matter what the child's age is, it all gets a bit dithery - I know it did at 3 mo, 6 mo and 12 mo - which were the previous three cut-off points I'd given myself!

DaisyMOO · 17/02/2007 21:25

Because I can eat chocolate (or 6 mini-naan breads as has just happened ) without getting fat(ter)

FrannyandZooey · 17/02/2007 21:27

Corrie, I realise you didn't ask for comments, but I agree with you: the benefits of your ds being able to breastfeed after your baby is born, far outweigh his possible upset for a night or two while at his grandparents. I think it is quite likely he wouldn't actually be upset about not being able to feed - as you will not be there - whereas weaning would almost certainly cause him distress, for who knows how long?

I would advise grandparents to give a "special" drink and lots of other treats near bedtime. We actually introduced a bottle when my ds was 2, so he could have something to distract himself from not having my milk to go to sleep with, on occasions when I was out!

DaisyMOO · 17/02/2007 21:35

Corrie, I am tandem feeding a 3 1/2 yo and a 16 mo, so obviously was still feeding dd when pregnant with ds! What we did to wean dd off her bedtime feed was for dh to put her to bed, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it just got too uncomfortable to do a long evening feed because it would set off painful contractions. Anyway, within a few nights she went to sleep easily with dh and she also went to stay with my parents a few times overnight with no problems.

mandymac · 17/02/2007 21:36

Corriedale, my DD (20 months), normally has a bedtime breastfeed with me. However I have missed bedtime several times over the past 12 months due to work committments including spending 2 days away, and she happily accepted some follow on milk in a cup (and I think would have been equally happy with EBM if I was still expressing). Of course she was still a bit harder to settle than normal, but according to DH, not too bad.

Muminfife · 17/02/2007 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chipmonkey · 17/02/2007 22:35

Because even though ds3 is in the toddler room of a creche, he is hardly ever sick! And if you Work to Stay Sane that could be a consideration!
Also ds3 really didn't take to bottles, cups or anything else so gets very little fluids otherwise. Unless dh is drinking from a glass, he likes to share his dinners/drinks.

lemonaid · 18/02/2007 18:50

Corrie -- DS (just 2) normally has a feed at bedtime but if I'm not around settles down fine with DH or MIL with a cup of milk instead.

CorrieDale · 18/02/2007 19:22

Thank you for all the comments. DH and I have agreed that next Saturday I shall be off the scene for the evening (probably hiding in the downstairs loo, worrying!) while he does bedtime. If all goes not too badly, then I think we'll adopt F&Z's special routine approach next month at the GPs.

What struck me last night, after I did that very long post, was that our bedtime routine is absolutely rigid - incl about 8 lullabies that I sing to him in the same order every single night while he feeds & cuddles, so the PILs will have to come up with something different anyway. No doubt the new baby will expect the same lullabies by the time it's born, having listened to them every bloody night since it's had ears! Rods and backs come to mind....

Aloha · 18/02/2007 19:25

Because they ask nicely?

Original poster
workstostaysane · 18/02/2007 21:34

ok then. as long as she asks nicely.
nice to hear from the tandem feeders. i really do enjoy bf-ing so not keen to give up but concerned that i would be continuing for my satisfaction rather than hers. and anyway am not up the duff yet so will just have to wait and see what happens if and when i am.

OP posts:
popsycal · 18/02/2007 21:45

Because he likes it
because it is good for him

It occured to me last night that more people do than we realise. My family all know that I stil feed ds2 (2 in 2 weeks time) but only a few friends do. Not really for amy reason. They just never asked. I wouldn't ask them if their Dc is still drinking cows' milk iyswim.

The subject of breast feeding came up last night when I was out with friends (mums of ds1;s school friends - good mates for the last 6 months). They were talking about breastfeeding - how one just didn't want to, how one couldn't etc). They were asking how long everyone breastfed for. Saying how they didn't know anyone who breastfed past 6 weeks. So I said yes you do. No they did not apparently......