So cross with myself that I didn't challenge HV 'advice'

[maewest]

At bf support group today HV was telling another mum that maybe her baby wasn't gaining weight fast enough because her diet wasn't good enough so there wasn't enough 'richness' in the milk. .

I managed a sceptical 'Really? I didn't know that', but got a pretty authoritative response and didn't really like to butt in as the comments were not directed at me. However now I'm home I'm feeling really cross that health 'professionals' are still spouting this guff. If I didn't have MN I might even believe some of it myself!

Any suggestions for how to challenge this next time?

Ask her to name any research studies that prove her "theory" that usually shows them up. Or maybe make up a "friend" who was asking the same question if you dont want to be so confrontational & ask if she has any leaflets or knows of any books with this info in them that you can show your "friend"....& then go for the kill about up to date evidence when she cant produce anything printed in the last 30 years

Slip the other mum a card with the MN web address on one side and Kellymom.com on the other...

Had another thought reading your reply Muminfife - leaflets carrying & talking to the mum is all well & good....but lots of mums will simply not believe "civilian" & you cant always be there to correct! The best plan would be to report her so she can get some BFing training. If the health professionals dont know about Bfing basics then Bfing rates will never get any better

I'd phone her for a chat, actually.

Is this HV the resident 'expert' at this group, maewest? That's a shame she is undermining mothers in this way.

How about speaking to her next time, and saying, 'you know our discussion last week? I checked it out, and I still feel uncomfortable with what you said.....would it help you to read the Hartmann research on the fat content of breastmilk?'

You can find out more to share with her on these links

here

and here

and this well-referenced page on kellymom here

Personally, I use this idea of poor diet affecting breastmilk as a means of sorting out the people who know how to support breastfeeding from those who don't - anyone who tells a mother to eat more/better/differently as a first-line response to a perceived or actual problem should not come anywhere near a breastfeeding mother, IMHO. She is actively doing harm - and she needs to be told.

Go get her

Thanks for the replies. Tiktok - she was not the 'expert', in fact I hadn't met her before. The group is usually run by the community nursery nurse (altho sometimes an hv is there too) who is generally v supportive, altho she did do the usual 'he's waking up more, start weaning', which I ignored, but did say to her that I understood that the guidelines were now to wait until 6 months. I feel more confident challenging her tho as I know her a bit better.

I just felt a bit disempowered and wanted to have something to back myself up with - the hv this morning just made me feel small (and then angry afterwards). I will look at the links and go better equipped next week.

mae - sometimes it's good to be honest about the way you feel. Would you feel able to tell the HV, not in an nasty or critical way, how you felt : disempowered, small and angry? It would be sensible to speak in private, and to add you feel awkward and embarrassed about raising the topic. If she is any good at her job at all, she will be concerned and responsive.

What do you think??

Tiktok, I think I would feel more confident writing to the clinic, as this would give me chance to phrase it in a way that I would feel happy with. Otherwise it feels a bit 'personal'

Yes, I can see that, mae.

Either way, do it

It is shocking that to this day there are still HCPs who talk such nonsense and actually CONFIDENTLY talk nonsense. You would think that with all the Baby Friendly training that is going on, that these types would actually be put forward for it.

That poor Lady on the receiving end prob went home feeling very low and guilty that she can't provide what she need to provide for her baby and as a result might actually stop BFing.... All because of a misinformed HCP

I was told my baby was close to failing to thrive due my breadtmilk not being good enough, and that perhaps I was on a diet (I am quite skinny, but eat like a horse), I was made to feel by my HV so bad, that I was failing as a mother, I went to see the Dr who said not to worry, she seemed fine. However as her weight gain has been slow, but steady, I am now constantly worrying. She is advanced in many things, at 7 months, can stand by pulling herlsf up, started cruising, eats finger foods, laughs and laughs all the time, babbles, nothing at all wrong with her. However growth is still slow.

I was put under so much pressure to top her up with formula, thats what I now do, she does not really enjoy it, takes about 10-12oz a day now, and I give her BF for the rest of the time, but I am paranoid about my eating, my water intake.

I am trying hard not to blame myself, as I know really, my milk is fine, as otherwise she would be ill instead of flourishing as a small child, but she has done a lot of damamge by using the words 'failing to thrive' and my diet.

I saw a different health visitor once who said I should not expect her to put on tons of weight, she has found her level and thats it, but my own HV always raises her eyebrows at my LOs chart.

It is awful to put this kind of pressure on people who HV, however I can see how it would be difficult to challenge, as HV can be really rather controlling and often I feel patronising. I spoke to my GP about it actually. Maybe you could talk to her practice about her approach, in confidence?

that last bit should not say 'who HV', should say, by HV', sorry it sounds like I am saying dont challenge, absolutely the opposite, just know how hard it can be!

Oh god, definitely report her.

Pavlov, it is truly very sad you are finding your experience of breastfeeding and of being a mother has been affected by such ill-informed nonsense.

Mum's diet does not affect baby's growth. Mum's diet does not affect a baby's health.

I hear someone say something different from this almost every week on mumsnet - and it just doesn't help.

Studies in developing countries have shown that giving extra food to mothers on inadequate or marginal diets does not result in better growth from the babies. There are also studies which look at the growth of babies when the mother is fasting over a period of weeks (because of religious reasons) and the babies are not affected.

The only exceptions to these statements are

i) if the mother is chronically and seriously under-nourished and/or is literally starving herself over a long period. And I mean literally - it does seem harder for women who are in this chronic predicament to make enough breastmilk to keep their babies growing normally. Is there anyone in the UK who would fit this category?

ii) the mother has an exceptionally allergic baby who reacts to something in the breastmilk (like dairy) which while not affecting growth, may make the baby appear miserable

Pavlov, would it help you to write a letter and say how you have been affected by what you heard?

Pavlov, I am pretty certain your daughter was not 'close to failing to thrive' anyway.

What does that mean? 'Close' to failing to thrive????

The expression these days is 'faltering growth', because 'failure to thrive' is a diagnosis that can only be made after taking into account a whole range of health factors.

Follow up, sorry: obviously I am not saying on the basis of your post that I disagreed with your HV....just that the phrase 'close to failing to thrive' is meaningless

Pavlovthecat, sorry to hear that. Something like that really makes you doubt yourself, and these are the people who are supposed to be supportive. Do you have a July baby? There's a postnatal thread here if you're interested.

Off to compose myself a letter...

My baby is eating me alive! I am wasting away while hw gets fatter! I had really bad flu and didn't eat or drink for days, I felt terrible but bubba was still thriving.

HVS that say these kind of things get my goat.