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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Time to stop?

15 replies

leese · 29/05/2002 18:55

Just wanting to draw on all the expertise out there. My dd is b/f at thirteen months, and I have never thought about stopping or how to give up etc - just thought I'd let her lead the way. In the last few months sh'e been down to what I would term two good feeds a day - first thing in the morning, then one just prior to bed which settles her and makes her all sleepy and relaxed.
Anyway, for the last week, she has started to refuse the night feed. Lots of crying/turning her head away/arching her back etc. She just seems tired, and wants to sit with her dummy. I've tried feeding earlier, so less tired - no joy. I've tried leaving it a bit later - no joy. Her morning feed remains the same - no problems.
I suppose my concerns are these - do you think she is ready to stop this night feed? Would this be likely in a thirteen month baby? I know people b/f for much longer than this, so am I doing something wrong?
I guess she gets a good amount of milk in the morning, milk with her cereal, yoghurts, cheese etc, but won't take milk in a beaker - only water. Is this enough? Thoughts welcomed...

OP posts:

susanmt · 29/05/2002 19:43

Just my experience - it was at about 13 months that my dd gave up (of her own accord) the evening feed in just the way you described! She fed on in the mornings for a while, but just didn't seem to need that feed any more.

Dixie · 29/05/2002 19:48

My son started to go off his night milk at about 15 months (not b/f at that age mind). I genuinely believe it's just that he's got to a point where he was happy just going to sleep at his time. He is now over 2 yrs old and still thriving even though he never has milk at night now (better for teeth too apparently). He more than makes up for he's milk intake during the day! Full beaker of milk at breakfast, plus cereal, plus yoghurts, cheeses etc etc. He seems happy & healthy so I try to take my lead from that. However, I am a 1st time niave mum so maybe the others may know more.....

Eulalia · 29/05/2002 20:20

Leese - she might just be feeling a bit off colour and may return to the feed at night. Does she have a big drink at bedtime? Do you give her cows milk then? It is good to keep up the breastfeeding for a bit longer. The WHO recommends for up to 2 years because despite a good diet with cows milk, cheese etc the baby still benefits from the immunological benefits of breastmilk.

I wish I had this problem - my son aged 34 months had almost stopped (just one feed at night) but his interest is renewed again due to our new baby born 6 weeks ago.

Original poster

leese · 29/05/2002 22:10

Thanks everyone. Eulalia - she doesn't have a drink of milk at all at night - won't take milk in a beaker, just water. I'm happy to continue the morning feed for as long as she wants it, but don't want to make a big issue of her not feeding at night ie:trying to persist in putting her to the breast, as I don't want to put her off altogether. As I said, she has milk in other sources. Would the WHO consider one feed per day b/f?

OP posts:

SofiaAmes · 30/05/2002 04:06

Eulalia, where can one find the b/f recommendations of the who. I have searched the who site and so far only found the paper on exclusive breastfeeding until 6 mo. (sent to me by my father when i announced my first pregnancy) and some lovely sebastiao selgado photos (unfortunately not sent to me by my father).
Leese, I stopped b/f my son at around 15 months because I got pregnant again and it hurt too much, but he was ready. At around 13 months he gave up his morning feed...just stopped looking for my breast and when I stopped the night feed at 15 months he hardly even noticed. A few months earlier it would have been a big battle. If you are looking for a sign I would say your dd has given you one. I found that it took several months before I could get my son to take milk in a beaker (lots of cheese/yogurt in the meantime). I did manage to get him to drink small amounts in a cup in the interim as he liked the novelty of it...but it was very messy. Under strict instructions from my father (a world expert on nutrition) I also gave him a daily dose of baby liquid multi vitamin (with iron and calcium) when I gave up the daytime feeds at 11 months just to make sure he was getting adequate nutrition. By the way, if your dd is not asking for a bottle to get to sleep in replacement for the milk, take advantage and do not try to give her one. You will only have to wean her off it later (it's not great for her teeth).

mears · 30/05/2002 10:56

Leese,

I adored breastfeeding and was diatraught when my last dd gave up at 15 months. She had associated the breast with sleeping and decided she was having none of it! She had also bitten me which made me shout out giving her a fright which also was a contibutory factor. I tried for 2 weeks offerring her the breast at all sorts of times and even lifting her half asleep - no way would she go back on.
I did not give her milk instead - none of my children had a drink of milk prior to going to bed.
Persist with your morning feed and offer the night one. It sounds as though your baby is making the decision. Sad day

mears · 30/05/2002 10:58

Sorry, meant distraught and

Ellaroo · 30/05/2002 13:31

Leese, firstly, sorry to hear about your situation - I am dreading when this happens to me. However, just to change the subject completely, Mears when you mispelt distraught I hadn't even noticed and it reminded me of this e-mail I got sent a while ago that is rather interesting.

Subject: extract from New Scientist

I CAN SPELL, I JUST CANNOT TIPE --- [New Scientist, 29 May, 1999]
" ... randomising letters in the middle of words [has] little or no effect on the ability of skilled readers to understand the text. This is easy to denmtrasote. In a puiltacibon of New Scnieitst you could ramdinose all the
letetrs, keipeng the first two and last two the same, and reibadailty would hadrly be aftcfeed. My ansaylis did not come to much beucase the thoery at the time was for shape and senqeuce retigcionon. Saberi's work sugsegts we may have some pofrweul palrlael prsooscers at work. The resaon for this is suerly that idnetiyfing coentnt by paarllel prseocsing speeds up regnicoiton. We only need the first and last two letetrs to spot chganes in meniang.
This was not easy to type!"

emmagee · 30/05/2002 14:50

This is really interesting (the breastfeeding bit mainly although i liked the gobbledegook too). I am currently trying to get my almost one year old off the breast (see 'cold turkey' thread) perhaps I should have waited a month to see if he would give up by himself! It would have avoided so many tears!

pupuce · 30/05/2002 15:53

Leese - DS stopped at 8 months of his own accord the night feed as well
I agree with Mears... don't replace it with anything and ensure the rest of her diet is appropriate.
She may continue the morning feed for a while (DS kept it an extra month).

Original poster

leese · 30/05/2002 18:22

Really, really can't thank you lot enough - just to know it's ok, and not unusual! I agree, it really is a sign, and much as I enjoy the b/f, I'm not going to persist for persistance sake. A friend told me her little one did the same around this age, but she was determined to b/f for longer, so temporarily stopped her solids - she was so hungry, the breast was taken to again - she then had difficulty weaning her aged three. So, whilst I still see breast is best, I'll keep up with the morning feed, but let the other drop away naturally. It just gets her so fraught after a lovely calming bath - battle at the breast time. Good to hear from Mears and Pupuce about not offering a milk feed from a beaker, just to leave it - didn't know if that wass the right thing to do. Thanks to SofiaAmes too - your situation sounds very similar. I do feel strangely saddened, and a bit low, but the day had to come I suppose...

OP posts:

Eulalia · 30/05/2002 20:23

Leese - yes I am sure one feed is enough if she seems healthy otherwise.

SofiaAmes - I can't remember where I have the reference for the WHO - I will have to trawl through my stuff and may take some time, will let you know though. (Don't have a lot of time just now with a 6 week baby!)

Ellaroo - love the New Scientist excerpt - thanks!

Lizzer · 31/05/2002 12:17

Leese, just caught up with your thread - don't know how I missed it... Just to add that my dd dropped her night feed at around 11 months and I kept on with the morning one until she was one. She did this completely of her own accord - I know how you're feeling, I didn't want to give up b/feeding but it seemed the time was right for her and she's been absolutely fine with it. Also, she wouldn't touch cow's milk, as a drink, until she was around 15 months, so not to worry as everyone else has said. Good luck

Joe1 · 31/05/2002 12:30

My ds is just starting to give up at 20 months. He usually asks for a feed when it is time for bed etc or he is upset for any reason, but is now cuddling up with dad on occassions now and even me without feeding (although I dont think he really gets anything as he drops off almost instantly, more of a comfort thing). I feel abit sad, as he will go all day sometimes so I dont think it will be long before the odd one in the day or evening will be dropped. Although it is abit sad I feel better that it has been led by him and feels more natural somehow.

Original poster

leese · 01/06/2002 18:41

Lizzer - thanks! Makes me feel a whole lot better. Hope it's going well for you Joe1. Almost ashamed to say this, but now the feelings of sadness at the b/f tailing off are going, beginning to relish the new found evening freedom! It's now dh's job to settle dd, and I have a nice bath instead.... On Wednesday I'm going to the pictures with my sister for her birthday - my goodness - haven't 'gone out' in the evening for as long as I can remember.....
Thanks again

OP posts:

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