Okay so firstly I am posting this after I posted on another BF thread without reading the whole thing (not my fault, I had a slow connection and it was'nt all visible - unbeknown to me) and was rightfully chastised.
But what I wrote on the thread, and the comments of others before and afterwards got me thinking about my views on breastfeeding.
I could not breastfeed my DD(3). I tried so hard because I wanted to so much, but after 4 days she was admitted to Special Care as she was literally starving - I was starving her. While in SCBU I was given an electric pump to express for her and even the nurses were perplaxed when nothing more than about half an oz appeared after 30 minutes. In total I managed to give my daugther about 2oz of EBM. My MIL blamed me for ging into SCBU saying I should'nt have tried to BF - like I knew.
With my DS (8wks) I so wanted things to be different and started trying to express in the week before he was due to get a supply going....alas again not to be. I tried for 2 days after he was born, but had a constantly screaming child unless I offered the bottle - and mindful of the last time I was more than prepared to do that. I kept trying to express, but to no avail and all I could produce in 3 weeks of expressing (including each time I put him to the breast trying to express afterwards) was 3 oz - all of which he got.
My mum could'nt BF me, and last week I was speaking to an aunt (mums sister)and she said she could'nt BF and niether could her DD, so I am now thinkning it's a family thing. But it has'nt stoped me feeling inadequate as a mother because could'nt do it.
I would loved to have BF my children for thier health and for mine in terms of preventing cancer - which mum died of 2 years ago. I would love to experience the closeness my friends talk of and understand the sadness they have felt when they stopped - but for me it will never happen.
So when I see threads about people getting a hard time for using a bottle (regardless of the content EBM or formula) I get rather cross, and this is what I did on the other thread - all guns blazing sort of thing.
Since being able to read the full thread I have seen people were full of support for the original poster - as was I when I read the opener, but I just got a bit defensive.
I guess what I am trying to say is all those in favour of die-hard BF , please bear my tale in mind when see someone using a bottle. And I in turn apologise for all those showing support who got the sharp end of my keyboard!