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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Do you feed wherever i.e. in front of grandads, uncles etc.

32 replies

dejags · 07/02/2007 13:40

DC3 is due in 3 months.

DH's family think it's weird that people BF in public. I always say, what's the difference than if you bottle feed. It's not like my tits will be hanging out.

I think because all the women in DH's family hid away to feed their babies, DH secretly thinks this is the norm.

I know the aunts and uncles will be horrified if I whip me norks out to feed.

The question is, do I feed wherever and ignore, or do I go the educational route i.e. explain that it's natural blah blah.

OP posts:

Scootergirl · 07/02/2007 13:41

Feed and ignore! Feed and ignore!

aviatrix · 07/02/2007 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

snig · 07/02/2007 13:42

I always fed in front of my family although it did feel abit strange at first, but like you say its not as if they will be able to see anything so i guess its about what you feel comfortable with.

nailpolish · 07/02/2007 13:42

fuckwits

if they dont like it they can leave, just you carry on and be proud

if they are ignorant re: the benefits of bf, then thats also their problem

determination · 07/02/2007 13:43

ITA feed and ignore.. if they feel uncomfortable they can leave.

They wont see anything anyway UNLESS they are leaning over you.

JackieNo · 07/02/2007 13:43

Maybe you need to do the reverse of the Gradual Withdrawal sleep training technique - start outside the room and gradually move in closer and closer and finally be in there completely.

Not sure, tbh. I wasn't always very confident about bf, so tended to head for a quiet corner anyway. But I always also had to do it 2-handed, supporting my breast with one hand, so it wasn't as discreet as many people can manage.

RubyRioja · 07/02/2007 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oliveoil · 07/02/2007 13:44

I fed wherever whenever

even in front of dh's 84 year old grandad

nobody batted an eyelid, or if they were horrified, they kept it hidden

and I am glad I did as my two CONSTANTLY fed and if I did it in my room I wouldn't have been seen for about 3 months

determination · 07/02/2007 13:45

I used to feed anywhere and everywhere an be very proud just waiting to be confronted - it never happened.

Even expressed on front of family/friends (used to donated 50-70oz per week to local hosp).. just thought if they dont like it they can look away!

hana · 07/02/2007 13:46

i just did ( and do) and don't explain myself

PandaG · 07/02/2007 13:46

my Dad walked out of the room the first time I fed in front of him, but I said that if he did that every time I fed he wouldn't see much of DS! I fed in front of everyone. I did try to not be right in the eyeline of single male friends, or my Grandad for example - and the first time I visited one particular church I expressed beforehand - was a new and unconfident mum at the time - next visit I discretely whipped my norks out!

Feed wherever you feel comfortable and tough to any one else!

Original poster

dejags · 07/02/2007 13:46

constant feeding is what I was thinking about.

With my first two - we were overseas, so I didnt have the crones around to cast their beady eyes.

This time around they'll be around in droves.

Arrrrghhh... just cannot win.

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 07/02/2007 13:50

I fed wherever and whenever I needed to. If anyone didn't like it, it was their problem and they could be the ones to remove themselves from the room.

Set this as your rule right from the start - don't be made to feel that you have to be shut away somewhere away from company when you're feeding.

oliveoil · 07/02/2007 13:52

I used to pull up my t-shirt and cover my stomach with my cardigan, muslin cloth over the crook of my arm draped over baby.

If you really wanted to see anything you would have to really stare like a loon.

DizzyBint · 07/02/2007 13:53

when i would feed infront of FIL he would take his glasses off.

northender · 07/02/2007 13:55

fil used to leave the room at the first hint of nork flesh appearing but my dad's a farmer and took it all in his stride but did constantly make comparisons to sheep and cows.
He did come up with helpful advice when I had mastitis though!

princessmel · 07/02/2007 13:55

Feed and ignore.

My FIL and BIL used to leave the room at feed time and pretend they needed to get something when dd was first born. They're all used to it now. Sil feeds everywhere too so it helps.

ProfYaffle · 07/02/2007 14:00

Feed and ignore.

I did it anywhere and everywhere. The only slightly awkward moment was when some friends came round and stared at the ceiling the entire time I was feeding!

I soon discovered that others pick up on your attitude so if you're matter of fact, casual and confident they'll follow suit.

spina · 07/02/2007 14:03

when i started feeding ds1 3 yrs ago i did go into other room at ILs. prob best as i was learning and over sensitive to advice from MIL. that lasted all of a week as i discovered that babies feed a lot and i'm quite socialable and needed the company of others.

i def suggest that you only have the smallest of audiences when starting b/fing and all should have some qualification to be there by being responsible for this situation(dp/dh) or some useful knowledge(breast feeding expert) Once you've got the hang of it, whip them out when and where YOU feel confident. I think my DH and his family harbour secret "b/fing must be done in private" thoughts but I don't.

spina · 07/02/2007 14:09

i did freak out two old school friends who popped around to visit me at my dad's house when ds1 was 3mths old. i hadn't seen them since they where 16 yr old boys and i heard later through another pal that they didn't know what to do when their friend (who they still see as the 16 yr girl i was) whipped her boobs out(subtly under a muslin square) the other side of room.

mcnoodle · 07/02/2007 14:17

Feed and ignore!

Once fed ds in the pew at a friends wedding. Twas that or him screaming through vows or me having to take him out. Balls to that - I love weddings!

I am still feeding ds at 20 months, but no longer feed in public or in front of parents and in-laws (I rarely need to) because I can feel the raised eyebrows.

gigglinggoblin · 07/02/2007 14:25

feed and ignore. i used to do it all the time and people genuinely didnt notice usually. did cause a bit of embarassment for ultra conservative uncle who came over to look at the baby and didnt realise he would get an eyeful at the same time, but he was embarassed, not me so i dont mind! friend of my mums was shocked to hear i would feed anywhere, said 'but you wouldnt do it here?' and i had to point out i had done it 10 minutes before while we were chatting

DollyPopsOut · 07/02/2007 20:35

Some great advice on here. i'd second the point about the vest / cardigan combo. It means you can hoick up the top whilst keeping most of you covered. I've also discovered a bump band - a lycra tube which is about 12 inches long and covers where your jeans don't do up when you are pg (I am due in 6 weeks). Once the baby is born, you can wear it over your waistband to stop any wobble being on display. I somehow felt more self conscious about the wobbling tummy than the enormous norkage, so wish I'd had this first time round.

good luck and all the best X

Lizzylou · 07/02/2007 20:41

With DS1, I was unconfident with the whole breastfeeding in public thing and always went out of the room except in front of my family (we live near DH's family, mine live 150 miles away), I have to admit sometimes just to have some time with my son away from overbearing inlaws .
Second time round I breastfed whenever and whereever, mainly because I was more confident and sick of feeling "pushed out", I felt I was making more of a stand. I had also learnt how to hide my enormous milk laden baps more effectively

adath · 07/02/2007 21:34

Northener you made me laugh I can just imagine that too.

I feed in front of anyone although now ds is 9 months it happens less now the only person I never have was FIL but not because of my discomfort because of his, he same in once when DS was just born apologised and turned round and went out. He is a bit old fashioned and he lives so far away that rather than him leave i go upstairs as he doesn't see my dd and dp as often as he would like rather than miss out on spending time with them because he is a bit embaressed I see it as no hassle to go upstairs.
If nothing else it is a good excuse to lounge in bed for a while

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