Posting from another thread for your thoughts too lovely supportive M nutters
Talk Sleep
Cheshire sleep whisperer18
20/10/2016 17:34 firsttimemum15
Hi
I have my own routine which I'm happy with. But baby wakes frequently and it's hard to settle her in her own cot after each wake up.
I've been watching the Cheshire Sleep Whisperer techniques.
I'm not sure I agree with all or understand how to implement them
For example she suggests doing last feed downstairs then bath ready for bed and story and in cot. Giving weetabix at bedtime is mentioned but I don't know when she suggests giving that..at which stage.
She says not to feed to sleep.
However breastfeeding to sleep to me seems so natural and after a bath my baby is ready for a feed. She also feeds after tea too. So in the Cheshire lady's sleep routine this would be the last feed but I don't know if it would work for us.
I also don't know how I feel about not feeding to sleep it seems to natural to me.
Also I've read some of Sarah ockwell smith and she suggested doing things that I've naturally been doing and doesn't see a problem with breastfeeding to sleep.
I rely a lot on my instincts I've just been looking at these theories this aft out of interest.
Also the Cheshire whisperer suggests using fairy lights and light shows but I've heard that only red light should be used as other lighting can over stimulate the baby
I limit electric light at night and led light etc so it seems unnatural to me to use led twinkle lights or light shows.
Does anyone have any experience?
20/10/2016 17:51 InsaneDame
Well I always ended the bed time routine with a breastfeed for both mine until about 18 months old. I didn't feed to sleep but it was always the last thing before being put to bed.
As for lights and light shows, I never bothered with anything like that. I kept the room dark as that is how we should sleep or be used to sleeping. Lights just over complicate things IMO.
20/10/2016 18:23 firsttimemum15
It's so hard.
I love snuggles
But love my own space
I'm. On my own a lot as other half works far away. My family is far away too
Don't get me wrong I'm out and about and busy a lot
20/10/2016 18:39 MrsPeel1
I've not got the answers, but from experience of a rubbish sleeper and a (n up to recently) great sleeper, I'd say, you should do what you think is right. The books are so contradictory that I don't think the really is a right answer.
If you feel like you need the support of a book, and sometimes it can be scary going it alone, pick one that reflects your ethos - otherwise you'll beat yourself up for not following the rules.
Good luck and congratulations flowers
20/10/2016 19:10 firsttimemum15
I trust my instincts a lot but I've woken for the last few weeks in so much discomfort from Co sleeping I feel something needs to change.
I've started to question what I'm doing because, Was it Einstein who said the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
I'm starting to feel like that
20/10/2016 21:04 MrsPeel1
Fair enough! I know what you mean, I ended up (reluctantly) co-sleeping. Great for ds in the short term, longer term, neither of us slept well.
You could try the no cry sleep solution which is fairly gentle (although my self-confessed hippy friend always called it the no cry - no sleep - no solution).
I ended up doing a sort of cry it out (left ds for 5 min periods, going up incrementally in 5s).! It worked for us, but doesn't for everyone.
Again, good luck!
20/10/2016 21:07 FATEdestiny
I think light-shows and that kind of thing suggest clutching at straws. I have always favoured dark, quiet room. Maybe white noise if it helps.
Regarding discomfort when cosleeping, I was just wondering if you could chanfe the way you cosleep as a means to problem solve, since it's working for you and follows your parenting ethos.
You could work towards bed sharing, but separately. Especially so if you are in a double bed just you and baby, can't you both have your own side of the bed. Your own space?
While I understand that with a younger baby then maternal position is important and so know it's uncomfortable. But at 7m I assume baby has some physical abilities? Or will do soon. Being able to turn over, crawl around, find and pick up objects.
Therefore there is less of a need for the cosleeping mum to have to position herself nipple ready. Baby could find the nipple herself. Shr could crawl and climb to find the nipple as needed in the night. Then you could extract yourself into your own space (and a comfortable position) when finished.
You might not be able to do this yet. But it is an option you could work towards so that cosleeping becomes comfortable.
20/10/2016 21:15 Rumtopf
I always had a dim red night light in Dd's nursery, with radio 2 playing really quietly (mainly so I had something to listen to at 3am).
Her routine would be dinner, play, bath, cuddle / story / lullaby, feed in her room and then put down in her cot while she was still awake but very sleepy.
She went into her own room from around 6 weeks as my exh snored like a walrus.
21/10/2016 00:26 firsttimemum15
Can't bed share like that as other half needs to fit in.
I have tried moving away. It doesn't work. She seems to have a need to be on or near me or touching a nipple
I too have been a fan of a dark room until now and if I did that I'd keep the room dark.
I know I'm clutching at straws. I am. I'm tired.
I can understand the idea behind it though. I think it's suggested as a distraction technique. My baby would probably just get bored and worked up if I sat in a dark room not feeding her.
It suggests breaking the connection between milk and sleep. Again something which seems very natural to me. So will see. A friend of a friend used it and it worked for her.
I'm not a controlled crying or cio fan. If it works for others that's great..I just couldn't do it.
Many have said put down sleepy but awake. I just don't know how to do that. This technique aims for that with last feed before sleep. It half worked tonight but mainly due to circumstances (eg had a long nap at lunch and no nap this aft so started to fall asleep at feed then woke up when I brought upstairs so I carried on with routine of bathe etc as siggested).
I could see how this would work baby was very relaxed. Maybe a coincidence but she's usually clamouring at the boob after a bath. She watched her lights and rubbed her eyes. She didn't really cry but then she did want boob (it didn't end up being a full feed downstairs as sugessted) so I gave her boob.
She slept for an hour then woke. Then slept for 3 she woke as I put her down and whinged I stroked her face and she went to sleep. So maybe there is something on it about not feeding to sleep. Maybe it's coincidence.
She's awake now. I'm still struggling with the sleep to cot transfer.
21/10/2016 00:40 firsttimemum15
I meant she's asleep but screams when I get her in cot. Doesn't just stir. Picked her up and she's asleep again. I just can't get her in. I'd crawl in it though and curl.up
21/10/2016 06:52 worrierandwine
We co slept with DD1 until 8-9 months when she started waking more frequently and using me as a dummy to get back to sleep so one night I cracked. DH took her in her own room (it had to be him as if it were me she would have just screamed for boobs) and she had a v-tech lullaby lamb (she calls it bumalie lamb) that he would switch on to help her dose back off. If the lamb didn't work he would rock her then put her back down and I would do feeds at normal times (12 and 3 I think it was). It took about 3-5 days to get her sleeping better but he stayed in there for 2 weeks until we both felt comfortable that she wasn't going to feel abandoned. She's 4 now and still presses her lullaby lamb if she wakes in the night. It's reassuring for her and it doesn't bother me that she still has it. Every baby is different though, I think DD2 will be a pitch black room/ no noise kind of baby but she's only 5 months so still co sleeping.
22/10/2016 20:41 firsttimemum15
That's a nice experience. Like your lambie I think that's the thinking behind it.
I must stress I've always had a routine and used ewan etc but I'm not sure it's working though at the min. But part of me does think sleeping is a developmental thing
Has anyone else got experience of using this sleep adviser/these techniques?
25/10/2016 19:40 worrierandwine
I think routines are great but don't get too hung up on them as babies change so often as they're constantly growing. I tortured myself in the early weeks with Gina Ford until I accepted it would never work for us. The baby decides the routine and you're just along for the ride!! Sleep is developmental, just play it by instinct wink
25/10/2016 20:06 firsttimemum15
I do largely think the same. Gina Ford definitely isn't for me but I haven't read her stuff.
I've managed to get baby to sleep without feeding to sleep which does feel like some progress because it will be easier if I'm out. I don't go out often but have a meal next month which I was worried about. Hopefully I can feed before I leave now and leave milk just in case. She won't reliably take a bottle.
But then I wonder if that's the right thing. Who knows. I'm taking tips with a pinch of salt and doing them my way I guess.
Eg the Cheshire lady told me no milk after 4pm but that to me seems harsh and unnecessary and I'll advised for BF mums.
I have however started to change the way I'm feeding my daughter. I used to check if she wanted milk before going in the car etc. But I've decided now to wait until she asks for it. If she doesn't ask for milk I'm offering food first. This tip hasn't come from anywhere just my own thought. I hope it won't stop me breastfeeding and I
I feel like I'm going insane at the moment.
I always rely on instincts I'm confident with my baby but night times are tough at the moment. Sometimes I feel like I am in groundhog day.
I started to feed baby before bath and get to sleep without milk
I've not been able to do this the past few nights.
Now I'm wondering why it matters. But I have a meal out soon I'd like to go to without worry.
Day time cot naps don't happen. Baby seems to hate her cot.
I cosleep a lot which is fine. But I do enjoy my own space I feel it gives me a break. I'm on my own a lot.
My baby is great such a happy little thing.
Now I'm hearing "get her in the cot in the day. Leave her to cry" etc etc etc