Funny thing happened on the way to the dairy!

[rachelhill]

I had a very funny experience today. Took my 4 month old daughter shopping and on the way back she started whining in the back, was on a country road and there was nowhere to stop, and she clearly had no intention of giving up so I saw an entrance to a farmer's field and thought 'this'll do' and pulled into it (big car, going into mud not a problem).

Stood in cow pat, swore loudly. Opened back door and DD stops wailing loudly and puts entire fist in mouth (hmm could be a clue I think). Get her out. Decide it's best if I sit in the front passenger seat with her and feed her (not least because back seats covered in shopping.)

So we get in and I've had the heater on and it's a bit stuffy so I half undo the window and for security's sake, lock the doors.

I am conscious that the entrance to the field has an open gate and wonder briefly if the farmer can get past but am pretty much concentrated on my little girl who is yelling at the top of her lungs that she hasn't been fed for ages (ooh all of half an hour) and that she's starving do I start nursing her.

Ten minutes or so later she stops feeding and starts smiling at me, really intensely and I feel this hot feeling on my arm and think, oh crap she's peed on me.

But no. There is a f**king COW with it's head stuck through the window licking my arm!!!!!!

Screamed, pushed the cows face out the window and shut the window. Calmed daughter down and looked all round the car. Herd of cows. Looking at me.

Now don't laugh but they looked sort of menacing and I know from experience sounding the horn will just lead to car licking rather than scattering. So I had to climb between the two passenger seats into the back, then reach back and grab my daughter, stick her in her seat. Climb back and start the car.

Tip for anyone in this situation, cows are stupid but not stupid enough not to move if you drive at them.

I can't help feeling they recognised a co-lactator and were hoping I'd join the herd.

In retrospect it's very funny. However at the time, for a brief moment I was terrified!

Thought I'd share in case any of you needed a laugh!

ROFL - very good, rachelhill!!

PMSL. I needed that.... thank you.
Now, tell me, what situation were you in when you discovered that sounding the horn leads to car licking??? How does that come about?

VERY VERY FUNNY made my day

• great story rachelhill.

Okay PeachesMcLean you asked for it - the ONLY reason I passed my driving test second time was thanks to cows!

The first time I pulled out onto a roundabout and cut up a van, with a driving test instructor, my driving instructor and a driving test instructor inspector in the back. Three blokes and I could hear them thinking 'bloody women drivers'.

So second time I was truly very nervous, but the test instructor was really nice. He took me out in the country and as we came over a hill I could here a noise and saw a farmer walking his cows across the road.

I said to the instructor 'I will pull over and wait for the cows to pass' and he agreed this was a good idea. So we pulled over.

The car was bright purple and brand new and the cows clearly recognised the smell of polish (apparently it's tastes nice) because they started to lick the car. Just one or two of them. But they wouldn't bugger off, more and more appeared and sure enough, in a matter of minutes I was surrounded.

Fifteen minutes passed (at this point I'd twigged that if I could hold out for another five minutes we'd only have time to drive back to the test centre and I could avoid the maneovures (sp?) which I was dreading (still can't park).

Sadly the instructor had the same thought and suggested blowing the horn to get the cows out the way or at least to attract the attention of the farmer.

So I did. At which point ALL the cows gathered closer and started licking the car.

Anyway that's how I know not to beep at them. I did pass btw, although technically he shouldn't have passed me because I did speed a bit to get back to the test centre because he had to get out on his next appointment.

Rachel

.

LOL

Snigger.
Well the things you learn on MN!

great story. do you collect cow-related adventures then?

Thanks for that it had both me and DH in stitches, there cannot be that many people with such experience of cow mobbing.

roflol... had me and dp in stitches, thanks!

LOL - that's really funny - you see there are some experiences you just don't get living in a city......
Thanks

pmsl!! This has brightened my day no end [girn]

flame, did that PO get to you?

crap knew not registering them would bite me in the as one day. will be down at the post office tomorrow and i'll ask if there's anyway to cancel it in case it's been robbed.

I'll let you know when the post has been tomorrow too

cheers

OMG Rachel,

PMSLOL - you have nearly put me into Labour!! Funniest thing i have read in a while.. wish more people would share funnies like this!

bumping co it's funny

bump cause someone may need a larf today.

LMAO!!!