Flying when baby is 4 weeks old - take the baby or not?

[cornflakegirl]

My friend is 34 weeks pregnant, and needs to fly from Britain to Eastern Europe for 24 hours when the baby is 4 weeks old (assuming it arrives on time!). She's not sure whether to take the baby with her or not. The trip is for her goddaughter's first communion.

She plans to breastfeed - so if she does leave the baby with her husband for a day and night, what would be the best way to manage it?

She's not sure about taking the baby - whether it would be good for them to fly when so young, and also whether the logistics of a passport would be feasible - in addition to the hassle of carting a newborn out the country!

You're right tribpot, I used to gaze at mine sleeping when that little, even when crazed with exhaustion myself. Still do sometimes.

Message withdrawn

god forbid she ended up having an emergency c section..she wouldnt be able to fly then would she?

If baby goes too, why does it have to be just 24 hours. Isn't such a tight timeframe adding to the stress?

I still think she would be amazing to cope with this.

we had ds photo at 3 days. took a few attempts but we got there in the end.

The fast track passport will take up to a week to process and arrive. Personally I'd take the baby (and no luggage!)

We had a photo of ds at 2 days old (done in the hospital by the baby photographer).

Dh registered ds's birth when he was 1 day old (you need to do this before getting the passport). The registry office was near the hospital. Dh popped out while visiting me and went to ask if they could do it. One of the registrars looked at him as if he was mad but I think one of them had come back early from her lunch and took pity on my wild-eyed dh who had obviously come fresh from the birthing pool and fitted him in. Usually you need an appointment.

This was all done because we also needed a US visa for DS which he couldn't get until he had a passport. Ds's passport arrived before Christmas (Ds was born on 25 Nov) so as you can see it did take about 2-3 weeks to get it all sorted.

Actually this is bringing it all back and it isn't fun to remember. I had

Christmas to get through
My parent's 50th Wedding anniversary party to attend
A vist to inlaws in the Isle of Man
A Christening organised and done
Packing and final paperwork for a move to the U.S for 6 months

All of this was done in the first 10 weeks of ds's life. After that there was just the settling in a new country and having to drive everywhere as dh doesn't drive despite being a new(ish) breastfeeding mother - And I wonder why I got PND - duh!!!

Honestly tell your friend to see how it goes and if she can do it it may be fine - if she can't then she should give herself permission not to.

As for small babaies on flights - Mostly they are OK - DS (at 10 weeks old) on the other hand slept a total of 2 hrs on a 9 hr flight and spent a lot of his time awake crying. I was breastfeeding but this didn't help as much as it seems to with some other babies and I actually found the flight incredibly stressful. The short one to the Isle of man and back when he was 5 weeks old was fine though.

I think that at the moment, she probably has more connection to her goddaughter than she does to her baby, because her baby is an "idea" still - she doesn't know him/her. So she'll feel that she has to get there for her goddaughter, and the baby "will fit in" with her plans.

She is bonkers though, I'm afraid.

hunker - i think you're probably spot on - about the first part anyway! she really doesn't want to let her goddaughter down.

i got it wrong as well on how old the baby will be - he/she will be 6 weeks if they arrive on time - 4 weeks is worst case scenario.

she's saying at the moment that she's going to leave the baby at home with DH and MIL. and as she says - plenty of women are back at work by the time their baby is six weeks old, so it's not like leaving your baby for 24 hours is impossible! my biggest concern would be about the impact on breastfeeding, but i guess at the end of the day it's her decision about whether it's worth the risk to be able to go to the first communion.

meant to say - lazycow - thanks for the tip about the hospital photographer - i'll pass that on (not sure if she's reading this thread or not).

cornflake - i was just wondering - and tiktok and mears are more knowledgeable than the rest of us on mix feeding - would they be able to give her baby formula by cup or syringe while she is away ?

it's just that it may make bf when she is back a little easier as baby may not reject the boob on her return. don't know, it's just a thought i am sure someone with more knowledge will comment soon

i fed my son ebm by syringe for over 24 hours once (mind you he was much older - 3 months by then) when he had thrush and blank refused to suck from the breast (sore mouth) - no prbs. going back to boob once his mouth was a bit better

but cornflake - plenty of women are not back at work at 6 weeks, that is surely nonsense! I know before ds arrived I genuinely thought the fact I would be leaving him in dh's care (at 6 MONTHS) would mean I could go back to work without any problems. What a fallacy, it was a horrific wrench, and still is every day, at 19 months. And that's to go to work for 8 hours, I could not leave ds for 24 hours, even now.

i used to work for a law firm (won't name it as they may sue me !!) where the most senior female partner came back to work full-time THREE days after giving birth to her second child

But she was on over £500K so not too worried about nanny bills i gather

i can't leave my son (2.7) for more than a few hours before getting seriously worried let alone leave him with a stranger for 12 hours or more a day at 3 days old

yeah, she doesn't know yet what it will feel like when she's had the baby - and she knows that! but if she's determined to go, then there's probably no reason that she can't...

yellowrose - that's a good though about alternative feeding methods - thanks.