co-sleeping advice please!

[ratfly]

I am getting exhausted breastfeeding my 2 week old on demand. For the last couple of nights, I took him into bed with me and fed him to sleep (IYSWIM), instead of having to get up for each feed. As a result, I actually felt rested the next day.

Thing is, I asked my midwife about co sleeping and she said it is not advised due to increased risk of SIDS. Neither I nor hubby smoke, drink or do drugs.

So, any co sleeping advice please?

If your baby is not at risk of SIDS otherwise (wasn't early, has no medical issues you're aware of), and you are co-sleeping sensibly, then I think co-sleeping is fine. I co-slept with both my babies, and was very happy with the arrangement.

You want to be careful the baby doesn't overheat, so don't have them wearing more layers than you, iyswim.

I think a soft bed could be a problem, as the baby could get trapped against you, iyswim? We have a very hard bed, so I'm really guessing here.

You have to be sure the baby can't get stuck between the mattress and the wall.

You can't co-sleep on a sofa (baby gets stuck between you and the cushions).

ratfly, your midwife is giving you the standard cover-arse reply. Cockney is right, so long as you are not highrisk (eg smoker) and take precautions, should be fine. I think you should also avoid duvets and soft pillows.

I co-slept with ds from day 1.

If anything, co-sleeping makes ds very easy to arouse (once an hour is not uncommon), which means he actually wakes more than if he slept alone (not that he is prepared to do so at this age). But because I bf him to sleep without getting up or even fully waking, I feel rested, like you say.

To this extent, the risk of SIDS is low with ds. And the fact that I am right next to him sleeping as lightly as he is, so that if he comes into any difficulty, I will know right away. hth

blueshoes and NQC have given great replies. I just wanted to say that I have also slept with dd from day 1, and can't imagine having done it any other way.

Just go without a pillow and have light bedding, and make sure the baby can't fallout /get stuck anywhere.

i unintentionally co-slept with both my DDs whilst bf at night. i say unintentionally as the moses basket was right by my bed but most nights we would wake up curled up together (boob out, milk everywhere usually )
tbh we both slept much better this way, dh too as he wasn't been disturbed by a baby crying to be picked up.
when nighttime bf eased off, they both transitioned into their cot no problem at all.

there are studies which show that bf mums sleep in a C shape with their arm around their baby's head and legs curled towards them so they are actually quite well protected.

agree with the precautions from the others though, nb. baby not to have too many layers on (same as you is enough) and remove excess pillows, have duvet low down around your waist so the baby doesn't get overheated.

I still used a pillow, but the baby's head wasn't ever near it. There would be the pillow, then my arm, then baby snuggled in my armpit. (Anyway, my pillow is a foam ergonomicy sort of thing, not a big fluffy thing that eats babies.)

We still used a duvet . I just made sure that the baby was wearing the same number of layers as me, or maybe even one less. Often meant the baby slept in a vest only. More skin to skin, which worked well for me.

have you seen the Unicef baby friendly initiative leaflet on co-sleeping?
here
I hope it will reassure you. It does say that mothers who share a bed with their baby tend to breastfeed longer than those who don't - no surprise really!

Message withdrawn

Oh rubbish on your midwife, if you breastfeed it is actually promoted under Unicef Babyfriendly Initiative.
There are some guidlelines about the bedding, and that there are no gaps your lil one can sleep through, etc...someone has probably already linked to them anyway!

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I co-slept with my dd until 3 nights ago (she is 20 months)!! I don't think I could have coped with night feeds without co-sleeping. I used to fall asleep with dd still feeding! In countries like Japan all families co-sleep with infants and there is practically no SIDS at all. If you feel the mws or hvs are telling you off then don't mention that you do it!! I think the fact that we co-slept with dd for so long contributed to her lovely loving personality and her closeness to both dp and me. I am pg atm and plan to do the same with no 2.

here is a less than exhaustive list of publications from the website of one of the foremost researchers of infant sleep and mental health.

if you browse his site, he will put all your fears to rest.

dr james mckenna

happy co-sleeping.