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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

doesn't like feeding

10 replies

jenlisa1 · 12/09/2016 10:51

Is it possible for babies to just not like breastfeeding? My LB seems to take just enough to get by 5 minutes max from 1 side for day time feeds and slightly longer during the nights. He screams blue murder if I offer and he doesn't want it like I'm trying to poison him! I'm getting lots of comments abut he may be bring one of those babies whose only happy when on solids. It's too early at the minute but I'm worried I'll get a lot of pressure as he gets older. Chester isn't a particularly happy baby and cries quite a lot and fights day time sleep. Could this be because of feeding? Am I being selfish and making him unhappy by insisting on breastfeeding him? I read all the time that breastfeeding should solve loads of problems but it just doesn't seem to at all, he never comfort feeds or feeds to sleep and refuses the second side at every feed. We get plenty wet nappies and 1 dirty a day and he has been gaining weight ok, 6lb 4 at birth and last Tuesday weighed 12lb 14. He doesn't arch his back like he's in pain with wind and rarely brings back up much milk. I'd really appreciate any advice x

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geekaMaxima · 12/09/2016 10:59

If he's gaining weight okay, and has regular weed and poos - and it sounds like he is - then he's getting enough milk.

Some babies are very efficient feeders and can get plenty of milk in a 5 min feed. If you stop offering feeds he doesn't ask for, does he still get upset?

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jenlisa1 · 12/09/2016 11:10

He's been getting really really upset every day between 5 and 7 for the last week. The rest of the day he just seems generally quite unsettled, doesn't like bring put down to play but seems to get agitated if I'm holding him and squirms about a lot. I just feel like I'm making him unhappy

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geekaMaxima · 12/09/2016 13:38

How old is he?

Getting upset for a couple of hours a day sound perfectly normal, tbh. Depending on his age, there could be lots of things going on developmentally to make him unsettled. It's very very unlikely to be bfing, though!

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jenlisa1 · 12/09/2016 14:02

He's 3 months on Wednesday. I thought we'd come through the witching hour phase but it's worse than ever now he just screams and screams and nothing will settle him. I'm just worried because his feeds are so short that he's not getting enough to satisfy him probably but seems to hate going back on and that's why he's so upset lately! I know there is a 12 week growth spurt but my LB seems to be feeding and sleeping less not more!

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letsleepingdogslie · 12/09/2016 14:06

Could he be teething? My friends DS was like this at 11 weeks he was teething early.

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jesterkat · 12/09/2016 14:33

My dd used to seem hate taking her feeds, often refusing even though she was hungry. Infacol helped for about a week, although slightly different as bottle fed. About an hour after feeds she would be doubled in pain sometimes bringing back clear fluid with flecks. Health visitors said nothing to worry about. I persevered for 3 months then she brought up clear fluid when having her 3 month jabs. The practice nurse said that's reflux, book in to see doc. We did, it turned out to indeed be reflux, she's now prescribed Gaviscon powders with feeds. That was a month ago, its like having a different baby, she's having full feeds now, sleeping through and just seems so much happier in herself. Before she was clingy, whingy and could scream untill beetroot red for hours. It may be worth considering reflux.

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FurryGiraffe · 12/09/2016 15:13

I'm not an expert but if something is the matter I really doubt it's that he's not getting enough from BF. He has doubled his birth weight by 3 months. The usual guideline is to look to double by six I think.

Reflux is obviously a possibility, but equally it sounds potentially all within realms of normal to me. Witching hour can certainly persist beyond 3 months. I used to dread 5pm with DS1 till at least 6 months. 5 min feeds can be fine if he's efficient. Resisting sleep in daytime is also normal- this kicked in with both of mine about 3 months. They also went through a fussy patch with daytime feeds about then- they got really nosy and interested in the world and were faffy to feed. And of course, poor daytime sleep means overtired meltdowns come bedtime.

How is he if you let him decide he's had enough? How long between feeds? How's the nighttime sleep and feeding?

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jenlisa1 · 12/09/2016 17:09

As soon as he starts getting really upset I take him away from the breast taking it that he really doesn't want anymore. He tends to go 2-3 hours between feeds and the same at night apart from occasionally a slightly longer first stretch. I've had a good look at his gums and can't see any signs that he might be teething so I don't think that is it. Maybe it is all normal, just as a ftm I feel completely clueless and out of my depth constantly. Every day feels like a struggle and I was just hoping there might be something I could do to make it easier for both of us but there may not be. Thank you all for your advice x

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geekaMaxima · 12/09/2016 18:45

My ds was similarly unsettled at 3 months (and for many more months...) for no reason that anyone could figure out. It wasn't reflux or colic either, apparently. He really did resist daytime naps, though - he'd get overtired very easily and then would be too upset to go to sleep.

What eventually seemed to make things better was taking the path of least resistance. He slept best in a sling but only if he was popped in before he got upset, so we did lots of pre-emptive sling time when he seemed relaxed and he would often drift off for a decent sleep.

He also didn't really like being around crowds of people for very long - he'd be fascinated for a while but then it would all get too much and he'd get overstimulated and upset. So we kept baby groups and his time with extended family to little and often rather than long visits, and whisk him away for a feed or some sling time after half an hour or so (or whenever he started to look restless). He'd usually sleep shortly afterwards.

Having the tv on (for my benefit) also seemed to set him off sometimes, even though he couldn't see it, so I started watching with the sound down and subtitles on. It seemed to help him stay asleep for longer but I was clutching at straws at that point...

It might be completely different for your ds, but more daytime sleep made a big difference to his general unsettled state. He still had major upset episodes until he was 8-9 months old, though - solids made absolutely no difference!

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jesterkat · 12/09/2016 18:52

Yep I meant to also say it could just be a phase or a developmental stage with him. As long as he's having wet and dirty nappies and isn't loosing weight try not to worry. It will pass. You feel awful at the time because you cant sooth them but it will pass x x x