MIL waging campaign against BF-ing and undermining me

[Shutupjustshutupshutup]

MIL does not like breastfeeding. She finds it "attention seeking" (as in "look at my boobs") and when I had DC1 and she arrived to "help," it involved trying everything to stop me breastfeeding - mainly along the lines of keeping tabs of when newborn woke, slept, fed - timing me and then accusing me of starving newborn by choosing to BF, especially if newborn cried. Now I'm on DC2 and she has arrived to "help" again. He's two weeks old and was feeding every 2-3 hours until yesterday. Now he is feeding more frequently. I am happily just BF-ing him on demand, but it is making MIL angry. She says because he is feeding more frequently it means I do not have enough milk. As soon as I stop a feed, she sets her stopwatch.

To her face I am breezy and smiley and saying he's going through a growth spurt. But just wanted to check - it is normal for them to feed more frequently after 2 weeks isn't it?

Every time you sit down to feed "Ooh, mil, I was just going to clean the bathroom/run the vacuum round/prepare a complicated meal in the kitchen. I don't suppose you'd mind? Only I'm a bit stuck here"

At least then she might fuck off to another room?

start filming her and stick it on facebook for your friends to laugh at

Your husband needs to sort her out.

And in the meantime carry on regardless and ignore her. If you were formula feeding I guarantee she would find something else to criticise you on.

I would be pretty disinclined to leave the DC alone with her as they get older too as goodness know what nonsense she'd try and infiltrate them with. She does not have a healthy attitude towards women. Misoginists don't have to be male.

Is she asian? Only asking as this is the kind of crap my mil would come out with

What about your DH? He should be abl to explain to his mum in their mother language to shut the fuck up.

I'm pretty sure formula fed babies feed a lot too at that age? Sounds perfectly normal BF behaviour OP, mine did the same. Put on loads of weight so must have had some milk . Large glass of wine for you for putting up with your mother in law for so long?!

Tell her to get in the sea. Or demand graphs and spreadsheets. She sounds bonkers!

She'd have a field day with my little one when he's having a mammoth cluster feeding day. Occasionally he'll be pretty much constantly feeding for six to twelve hours, with no more than a 20-30 minute break between feeds, which the midwives and health visitor cheerfully shrug and say is normal. The boy is certainly not starving, given his weight gain!

Nipples are bloody killing me, though...

My MIL was much the same. She actually told me that bf is 'not natural'. I should put the baby on 'oyster milk' (think she meant Oster milk, but I didn't like to ask), as that was the best thing for a baby. I shouldn't feed in comfort in my living room, I should go into the bedroom and close the curtains and sit in the gloom. I certainly should not be reading a book or having something to drink while feeding. The fact that DD1 could projectile vomit 10 feet across the room meant my milk was too rich for her (she was allergic to what I was eating, although we didn't know that at the time) and that if i persevered, DD1 would become accustomed to formula (although we already knew she was allergic to formula). Thank goodness she seldom came to visit, even though we lived in the same town! XH was no use - when she arrived, he would manage to leave the house within 20 minutes, to return several hours later, when she was long gone. She also refused to do anything to help, including getting me a glass of water from the kitchen when I asked. She wouldn't even put the kettle on. DM was very and at her attitude.

I'd be telling her to fuck off, or telling your DP that his mother needs to leave - now!

While agreeing that your baby is perfectly normal and your MIL's actions must be extremely hard to deal with, I'd say she probably is coming from some sort of good intentioned place, in being worried about your children, even if she's being totally rude. It's just she's woefully misinformed.

Your DH needs to take responsibility for protecting you from her criticism, and in fact he could perhaps help his mum out by providing her with some up-to-date info on breastfeeding and its myriad benefits while you get on and do the important stuff of feeding etc - it's his responsibility too as a Dad.