BF snacker - how can I get her to take a full feed?

[Tapster]

My daughter is nearly 3 months old and is exclusively BF . She is such a snacker. She wakes up and often we play for a bit then BF, then she plays a bit more and is tired (yawns alot, and needs sleep after being awake after 1.5hours) - she will not sleep then unless I BF. If I'm out and about she will fall asleep after 5mins of crying it out gently in her pram, if she gets hysterical I just feed her. It is really restricting my life as it feels like there is no spacing out of feeds so I find it difficult for us to go out - today I had to feed her in the Tesco car park, yesterday on a park bench. I have been trying to go out and about to try and distract her from feeding but no luck so far. Getting lots of criticism from family and friends that "I am always feeding her". She was 14lbs at 11 weeks so quite a big girl. Help. Lizx

How frequently is she feeding? Ds was still every 2.5 hours or so during the day at that age, I think...

I'm feeding every 2-2.5hrs during the day. She does sleep reaaly well, usually 6-7 hours in one stretch.

Well, as I say, at that age, ds was feeding the same amount during the day and every 3 hours at night. I remember pulling over on the A25 once to feed ds in a lay-by, have fed him in toilets, restaurants, on park benches, etc. Sounds like a normal bf baby to me... I think you should ignore your family.

The alternative is to swap to formula which might space the feeds out longer, but not definitely. However, you don't get all the supposed benefits that you have with bf.

I must say that I think you are doing really well for her to be sleeping through 6-7 hours!!

Sorry - point is that she's not snacking, she's just a young(ish) baby that needs feeding often...

Tapster, sorry and all that, but she sounds like a normal baby, especially as she has a long sleep of 6-7 hours.

Most human beings have something to eat and drink about every 2 to 2.5 hours....perhaps you can point this out to your critical family and friends.

You could try to extend her gaps between feeds, but this could be hard work and distressing.

In time, she will become a little easier as when she is older she can drink with a cup sometimes or have a finger food as a snack.

Thanks everybody, including other mums say should be doing every 3-4 hours by now. She is a very slow eater, feed time is about an hour - 45mins post nap, 15mins pre nap, the latch is fine she just takes her time - there is not much of a window to go out and about, let alone leave her with somebody. I plan to BF exclusively until 6 months at least, I find I can't get my head round giving a baby formula at least until cows milk introduced into diet. Lizx

Have you tried feeding her as soon as she wakes? I found the cycle of sleep, feed, awake time then sleep again better for me and the DSs. Maybe she's getting overtired which is why she needs a "snack" to get to sleep? Or is too tired to take a full feed when you do feed her because she's tired from playing?

Well fed her today as soon as she wakes but seems worse as now feeding 3 times instead of twice during her 1.5-2hr awake period. each time for 10min/s. I definitely have a snacker - any ideas

Tapster - I could have written your post with either of my dd's, except that mine were/are snacking all night as well as all day.

It's just normal. They know instinctively when they need to be fed, and for that reason I believe it's best to let them just get on with it, and ignore comments from relatives about what babies "should" do.

A lot of people are now suggesting that for older children and adults, eating little and often is more healthy than eating huge infrequent meals - I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case for babies too.

By the way, tiktok is a professional - I'd rate her opinion above the rest of us amateurs any day!

DS used to feed constantly at that age (I was lucky to get to 2 hrs). DD (3 months) feeds every 3-4 hours and can generally finish a feed in 15 minutes. I don't think I have done anything different with no. 2 - they are just different babies. (NB: I wouldn't want to give you the impression that DD is wonderfully happy between feeds - its just that she usually wants something else other than a feed when she is unhappy and despite my concerns is following the line in the red book).

As far as I rememember DS's feeding spaced out a bit round about 4 months.

Funnily enough, I even get family remarking on how much I am feeding DD, so you can't win!

Thanks for all your support. I will just go with the flow and hope she naturally spaces her feeds out with time - avoiding MIL and her stern looks. She often feeds for comfort as well as food, which is fine with me so I would I in her position! She is a very happy and contented little baby and hardly cries and sleeps well.

I do feel a bit lonely in the real world as all my NCT group are all very regimented on routines and all are giving at least one formula feed (well I've decided not to meet up with that group this week as it has just stresses me out) and alot of most mothers I meet are doing the same.

Just need to trust my instincts and throw away all the baby books and smile sweetly when I get given uncalled for advice!
Lizx

I'm not a professional - I am a volunteer bfc with NCT

I think you are sensible to filter other people's feelings, opinions and experiences through what you know of breastfeeding and your baby, Tapster.

Yur baby's behaviour is normal. There can be no real justification for changing or 'treating' normal behaviour, unless there are overbearing other circumstances, and there don't seem to be, from what you say.

It's normal, human behaviour to eat and drink for reasons other than nourishment, anyway - call it comfort, if you like, but it includes eating and drinking sociably, or as part of relaxation, or just out of interest, or companionship with another human being. For the breastfed baby, a feed is a way of connecting with mum, of resting from the world, of 'recharging' the batteries, of having a moment of pleasure and togetherness.....your baby is lucky, because you respond to these normal, natural and human needs (because she is a baby) rather than responding to the stern looks of your MIL (who is an adult and can look after herself!).

I know how you feel. All the people I knew kept telling me ds was feeding too frequently, including the doctor who said to hold out until he was really hungry. He also only took about 12 minutes to feed each time so I was convinced he wasn't getting enough. But the reality is that your dd will feed as and when she needs it...

I remember reading in "My best friends' guide to the first year of motherhood" how it would be so much easier if all our breasts had little gauges on them so we had the comfort of knowing how much the babies had had. The same book compared bf to religion on the basis that they both required a leap of faith!! I couldn't believe how true it was...

Oops tiktok - I think by "professional" I was meaning that you know what you're talking about and the rest of us don't always!

Mumpbump, I know what you mean about the "leap of faith" . It's such an indictment of how modern society has undermined breastfeeding though - after all, breastdeeding has been nourishing babies for a very very long time relative to formula.

There's no logic to worrying about it - yet so many do.

Tapster - all the "experts" have been giving you advice I see, so I will shut up !

Just wanted to say that you sound like a very sensible mother (ignoring those who disapprove) and doing the best for your baby. Babies really do have all sorts of psychological and emotional needs and bf ticks all the right boxes

I have a bf toddler who is still a snacker, but the good news with a baby as young as your is that very soon it WILL get easier to go out and about.

Best of luck !