Seriously thinking of giving up breastfeeding

[Liskee]

I am so close to giving this breastfeeding lark up. I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep in a row since DS2 was born 4 weeks ago and we've only had a handful of days where he hasn't fed for 18 out of 24 hours. It's totally exhausting.

Add into the mix the fact that he's appears to be full of wind . I've started giving him Infacol before 4 feeds randomly timed throughout the day as there's no kind of pattern to his feeds. It seems to help a bit but does result in big bokey burps that remind me of DS1 (who was bottle fed) refluxy days. He's also been very fussy when feeding this last couple of days, pulling back, arching and wrenching off when he's finished...or allegedly finished!

He just wants to suck suck suck but I don't know if its wind, comfort, hunger or cluster feeding that's driving it. Its relentless and doesn't allow me to do anything else. At lunchtime I fed him, winded him, snuggled him, got him to sleep and then had 10 minutes upstairs putting DS1 down for a nap. Two mins in DS2 woke up and melted down. He won't settle anywhere but at my boob, nipple in mouth. DP tries each night to cuddle him post feed so I can go up and have a shower and 5 out of 7 nights he's furious halfway through it and frantic by the time I'm downstairs again.

We've worked really hard on the latch and although it can be a bit dodgy on the left it's mostly fine and nipples look great after each feed on the right. Nappies are yellow and liquid (stopped being seedy a day or two ago) and plenty of wets. Weight wise he's past birth weight with HV coming out on Monday to check on him. I know he's putting on weight though cos I can feel it when I hold him! We've tried co-sleeping as he's not a fan of his basket, but he prefers sleeping on me rather than beside me which freaks me out and stops me getting a decent sleep in bed. We do bath, feed and bed each night which results in a slightly longer sleep and the 2-3 hours I am getting myself. Today we tried a dummy which meant he stayed calm enough to allow us to leave the house and go buy DS1 new shoes. Problem is DS1 is notorious for stealing dummies belonging to other babies despite not having had one since he was 6 mths old so I'm reluctant to make it a thing!

So, basically, help! Reassurance that it'll get better or advice on how to make it better will be gratefully received. I'm so close to jacking it in and going FF as at least I can say well I know it's not hunger, cluster feeding or comfort...but that's just because I have experience of doing bottles with DS1. I was soooooooo keen to BF DS2 because I regretted not being able to last time round, so I don't want to give up for fear of holding those regrets again. This all just feels so relentless, not enjoyable and difficult. So...help!!! Thank you!

No major advice as this bit is just hard going, especially if you have an older child to look after as well. Has he been checked for tongue tie? That can cause endless feeding plus reflux/wind. Do you have lipstick shaped nipples after a feed as that can be another sign. It does tend to settle a bit after 6 weeks - first time round I have myself that as a deadline (tongue tie, oversupply and reflux were a hellish combo) - helped me get through. We carried on past that in the end. This time it's hard because you just don't have the time to sit and just let them feed.

Second the advice on the tongue tie. Bad wind or reflux is another possibility as my DD did this. I changed my feeding position - she now feeds on top of me when I am lying back (so she can control the milk flow) or upright in a sling (again control of milk). BTW, if you don't have a sling already, I strongly recommend finding your local sling library and hiring one. Like you, I have an older DS to consider as well and a sling allows me to feed, wind and cuddle DD whilst running after DS.

Regarding night time, your best bet is to keep co sleeping as bf babies are notorious for their night feeds and frankly, if you don't need to get up to feed, don't! However, the use of a sleepy head or something similar to replicate how he sleeps on you would probably help transition him to your side.

Cluster feeding is normal and you are going through the worst bit right now. Rust yourself - your baby is producing nappies and gaining weight. It will get better; you just need to fine tune the process!

YANBU! Do what you gotta do. But yes to tongue tie, sounds like DS who was undiagnosed for 8 weeks (despite seeing everyone including a v expensive lactation consultant), 90% thick tongue tie and went from 92nd centile to 2nd centile!

Thanks all for your advice. I've ordered a sleepyhead and we've CI slept the last couple of nights resulting in slightly more sleep. The constant sucking has settled down in the last day so that gives my poor nipples a break and me the resolve to keep at it. Going to investigate tongue tie as suggested, and hoping it does get easier in time as everyone keeps reassuring me!!