British Airways and breastfeeding

[saffie]

I recently flew BA from Glasgow to London with my 4 week old baby.
A very pleasant stewardess came over to show me how to use the seatbelt etc. She was really bubbly, we got chatting and she made a fuss of the baby, said she had no kids of her own etc.
She said to call her if I needeed a bottle heated and I said its okay he's breastfed, and a look of horror spread across her face and she said, half joking but meaning it "oh no, you're not going to whip them out in here are you?"
I am fairly thick skinned and thought this was quite funny and replied something like"yes I probably am, but not so you would notice".
Afterwards I thought that could seriously deter someone who was less confident about breastfeeding than I am and wondered if BA staff are given any guidelines to help nursing mothers.
What do you think of this little tale?

I find this quite shocking, Saffie. I have breastfed my dd for 13months (so far), and b/f my ds before. I am constantly surprised by how few people choose to b/f. Out of the M + T group I go to, only one other Mum b/f's, or has done over the past few months. So many people say "Oh, I couldn't" at the prospect of "whipping them out". I must admit, being a bit of a shrinking violet, it was a bit daunting the first few times...not I'm quite happy to whip them out anywhere

I think it's important ot send out the message that breastfeeding is perfectly natural, and nothing to be ashamed about.

Personally, I would contact BA - if only to draw their attention to what happened.

Saffie, I would complain, in writing. Unacceptable and unnecessary comment IMO and they should be told. But I am a bolshy bitch (to quote my dad)

You should definitely complain saffie - aren't there laws or something there protecting the rights of breastfeeding mothers? Like anti-discrimination type laws? Even if there aren't, you should definitely bring this to the attention of BA, as it is completely unacceptable. Your baby is/was only 4 weeks old for goodness' sake...what a ridiculous and unnecessary comment to make, and as you say could definitely undermine the confidence of a new mum. Write that letter!!!

I'd definitely let BA know, so that they can arrange for training for their staff, but, from your description of the incident, I'd fall short of identifying the person. It was a silly thing to say, especially in her job, but she may never have known anyone who has breastfed their baby before. The phrasing of what she said reminds me of how Jilly Cooper wrote about b'feeding in the 1980s in her popular books, in a supposedly funny manner. Maybe reading Jilly Cooper is the closest this girl has come to personal experience of breastfeeding.

I think the other thing you shoud add in your commnets to BA is that b/f is DESIRABLE while taking off and landing, as it helps the baby cope with the pressure changes. So once she had been told that you were b/f, she should have realised that you were likely to be doing so at least twice on the flight.

It sounds like it is more a training issue - something that the cabin crew should be made aware off and they should positively encourage mothers to feed (whether bottle or breast) during take-off and landing - both for the baby's sake and for the sake of the other passengers!

BA certainly aren't as baby friendly as they'd like to make out. I won't travel with them any more if I have the choice.

A couple of months ago they told us on the return leg of a trip to Canada (with exactly the same luggage we'd had on the way out) that their policy of "usually" allowing you to take a pushchair in addition to the luggage allowance didn't apply for that flight. And on top of that, that far from DS being allowed one piece of hand luggage as he had been on the way out, he actually counted as one of our pieces of hand luggage! Can you imagine a 9hr+ flight with a five month old with only one bag allowed between 3 people?

To be fair the onboard staff were fine - it was just their ground handling crew who were very offensive and insisted on trying to charge us for large amounts of excess baggage because of their interpretation of the rules (which we discovered on complaining to BA back in London were wrong). They wouldn't even let us go and buy one larger bag to put the small flight bags and car seat into to bring the number of items down (the limit is number of pieces, not weight, on transatlantic flight) - it was pay up or leave them behind. Even when we asked to speak to the checkin person's superviser we were told it wasn't worth bothering because she would always support the clerks viewpoint (which she did without even bothering to hear our side of it - and even told us that if we objected to the decision we wouldn't be allowed on to the flight). We ended up managing to stuff most things into the existing bags, but had to leave our carseat behind because they wanted far more for one peice of excess than it'd cost to buy. (Of course that meant problems at the other end with having to get a new one - but that's another story).

There are plenty of other airlines whose policy towards children is much more explicitly stated than BA's fuzzy "usually" - next time we'll go Air Canada who have no problems in allowing a baby to have buggy, a car seat and and a travel cot, plus a bag of up to 70lbs.

Saffie, I think you've hit the nail of the head when you said she "had no kids of her own". There is a tendancy, before children, to see breastfeeding as a display of your assets. I bet she has no problem whipping hers out on the beach!!
I flew Britannia when my DD was 2 weeks old and was allocated an aisle seat. Not a head was turned when I breastfed (for the majority of the 4 hour journey) and the air stewardesses couldn't have been nicer. However, they did tell me that they had children of their own and even the male steward told me about his wife breastfeeding their six-week old child.
I agree with Jenny2998 that BA's attention needs to be drawn to this, however, in view of GillW's horrendous experience with them, not sure that any amount of training will change individual attitudes.

GillW - I presume from your your comments that you've been in contact with BA in the UK - but have you also made a (stinking!) complaint? You are now out of pocket because of their (admitted) misinterpretation of the rules (in that you've had to buy another car seat, plus all the inconvenience of not having it when you arrived back). PLUS you were abused by being threatened with not being allowed on the flight if you continued to object.

My "step" aunt got a free flight from South Africa recently after complaining about a similar event (but on that occasion it was due to their refusal to carry sports equipment without a major surcharge) - although her treatment was more extreme, with the checkin clerk going to the plane to point her out as a "trouble maker" prior to getting on the plane!

I think this comment is insulting, as if whipping 'them' out is distasteful. I would have felt very annoyed. I've breastfed my son on two flights with no bother, first time he was 9 months, second time 26 months and obviously quite big. It was the only thing that would keep him quiet and still.

Don't you think it is degrading to women that some people regard a part of their body with disgust? It is so stupid when the fact that we are feeding another human being is overlooked.

It just annoys me that there is still so much negative feelings about it. I was thinking aobut this the other day when I was sitting with a friend breastfeeding my daughter in Tesco cafe. I HAD to feed her there as I could hardly abandon my son to go to the mother and baby room. There was a man of about 60 at the table next to us who was looking over with a sort of half smile on his face. I was a bit confused as to what his expression meant. Turned out he knew my friend but I could have so easily interpreted his look as a leer and have recounted this tale to others. We automatically assume that a man would only want leer at boobs - well that is hardly surprising when their primary function seems to be sex objects. Anyway enough said...!

My experience with BA a couple of years ago went like this - dd was approx 4mths old and I was sitting next to a very annoying old woman watching my every move as I was b/f. I asked a stewardess if there was a possibility of feeding dd in a quieter section of the plane - she told me to use the loo to feed her! Completely dumfounded by her answer, I asked a steward and he kindly said that I could sit in their private section as it was a curtained off area and told me to stay as long as I needed.

I had a similar experience with dd when she was just a couple of months old - but in Pizza Express..the manager came over & told me someone had complained about me bfeeding, even though I was v discreet about it. she said "I personally don't mind, as we're a family restaurant and it's our policy to accept breastfeeding" but neverthe less she still delivered this message (from a balding, fat middle aged man, sitting with a group of younger people who he must have worked with) instead of asking him to leave if he was that bothered

I hope you are feeling encouraged by these responses. I find the choice of language, 'whipping them out', as partic offensive. Only have breasts for titillation purposes, do we?

Please make a smelly complaint as this is an offensive and uneducated comment. My own experience weighs the other way as I flew about 30 times with ds in his first year. I felt I got glances of relief from the cabin crew who could see that there was a mother whose child was going to be content on the flight and not get up tight. I got to fly business a few times and started to rather enjoy the look of horror descend on the face of the business person assigned to be my neighbour. I found I got a lot of space to myself and ds. Once ds could start to stand, I would feel sorry for anyone with long hair sitting in front of us.

Saffie, I agree you should draw this to BAs attention. And that the staff should be aware of the benefits of giving children something to suck when the plane is taking off anf landing (I still take beakers for my 3 to drink from on landing and take off tho now they would prefer a sucky sweet.I blame the Topsy and Tim Go on a plane book!). I think you were unlucky to meet this particular hostess. I have flown with BA loads of time with my 3, from birth, breast feeding and have never had any negative comments or looks. You get idiots in every job and sounds like you were unlucky enough to hit one.

Complain loudly, this is unacceptable behaviour from a staffmember whether male or female. BA should apologise big time and if you go up high enough, you might get a couple of free flights out of it.

I've said it before but complaining about someone breastfeeding on a plane is one of the oldest tricks in the book in attempting to get upgraded. Stand your ground - you have paid for your ticket as well!

Having flown with BA since it was BOAC when I was a wee 'un, it goes without saying that BA have since time immemorial had the most child unfriendly crews in the history of flight.

I used to complain as a young childless woman (!!) about the old battleaxes that used to be part of the crew on long haul, but I gave thanks on my knees time and time again as a mum with 2 tinys, because they were never fazed, never too busy painting their nails, never joining the mile high club and most importantly never without a chocolate biscuit in a crisis!

Get rid of the trolly dollys say I and bring back the battleaxe!!

Kia, do you still have your BOAC bag somewhere?

I do think that, for the most part, BA is willing to learn from it's faults so complaining is worthwhile (unlike others).

I breastfed DD on the flight from NZ to the UK and back earlier in the year. I'm really shy so have a poncho I use which pretty much covers everything. People keep telling me I should just 'whip 'em out' but I don't see why I should have to. Not that I think people should have to cover up, but I choose to.

I used my poncho on the plane. I would have felt particularly uncomfortable sitting next to a man feeding. So the only option was the aisle seat as I was obviously seated next to men on all 4 legs. DH was in between me and the strangers. I think it was rather too effective as one of the air hostess' asked me if she could take the bassinet away while I was breastfeeding and looked really confused when I asked her to come back in 5 minutes. I didn't really want to announce the reason!

OP- you should definitely write to BA. Have you seen the news coverage about them seating children next to women only? I really wish my airline had a similar policy for women with infants. I rang and asked for window seats as I was breastfeeding but was met with some confusion.

I fly Glasgow to London with BA and have never had a problem with BF. Mainly cos I couldn't give a toss what the trolley dolly thinks. if they don't like it they can fond me somewhere discreet to feed and someone else to sit with the other two and read Poppy Cat for the umpteenth time. in fact that sounds great!

A friend is long haul BA cabin crew and she says the male stewards in particular are very sniffy about BF ( she BF her DS for over two years) she remembers one time when a BF woman fell asleep with a breast fully exposed - cue much sniggering in the galley...

op you should definitely complain, I get so fed up with these attitudes. Even though I bf dd (3) inpublic sometimes I now have ds (16 weeks) and still get a rush of anxiety everytime I need to bf him in public as I'm terrified someone will say something.

Also fed up with people we know loooking uncomfortable when i do it even though I'm v v discreet. Some of the other bf mums I know just don't feed in public they always go home to feed, it makes it so bloody difficult. I just wish it was normalised, the stigma about it seems to be getting worse imo....

I've travelled a fair bit shorthaul and longhaul with the DCs on BA, and I don't think there's been a flight in the last five years where I haven't been breastfeeding one or the other of them. The cabin crew have always been absolutely fine about breastfeeding and great with the DCs.

I would make a complaint about this incident.

(Parenthetically, I read in New Scientist that pressurisation/depressurisation is more gradual these days so that you don't tend to need to suck on takeoff and landing any more; certainly the DCs have been fine on any flight where they haven't been bf at that point)

Oh poor you. I flew BA to Tunisia with DD's when DD2 was16 months and BF.
I was BFing her just after we got on the plane as she was freaking out and the male cabin crew blokey came over and said
'Do you need a hand with anything....oh....well I can't help with that but I can bring you some water in a minute if you like?'
All of the CC were coming to say hi to DD's (only kids on nearly empty flight) and I was BFing on and off the whole flight so I woudl say it isn't BA but one stupid member of the cabin crew

If this happened in Scotland, then she was (almost) breaking the law.

Yes, complain to BA.

She sounds well-meaning but uneducated about "whipping them out" (and I speak as someone who has bf a 5 yr old on Ryanair )

They definitely need to be told that saying something like that is inappropriate, even if not meant offensively.

girls ,this is an 8 year old thread!

Now, I am wearing my judgeypants, but if the OP was suggesting she was going to be breast feeding her 8 year old on a flight, then I am not surprised the hostess raised an eyebrow!

Definitely complain. It is not policy to discourage breast feeding. Many mothers do it on take off and landing to ease the air pressure in the baby's ears.