Baby not gaining weight :(

[butterflylove16]

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this I'm just feeling really upset.

Dd is 9 days old, I've been exclusively breastfeeding & thought she was getting enough. But the midwife has just been & dd hasn't gained any weight since Monday. I have been struggling a little with the latch on my right boob (midwife showed me a new position), but she always seems to feed fine from the left. The midwife isn't sure if my supply is enough, so said no longer than 3 hours between feeds (which doesn't often happen anyway) & we have to take her to the hospital on Sunday to get weighed. If she hadn't gained weight by then we have to top her up with formula.

I just feel like I'm letting dd down. I'm trying so hard but it's obviously not good enough :( breastfeeding has always been so important to me, I didn't even buy a single bottle as I've had my heart set on it. Does anyone please have any advice? Thank you.

You are doing so well but breastfeeding is very difficult (especially first time around) without support.
I am also stuck on sofa or in bed with an 11 day old. Yes to the advice to offer boob to every cue at this stage. (Do not let well meaning family rock or soothe the baby at this stage but use your boobs until bf is well established)
Where do you live - certain areas can have funded peer supporters that come to your house. (I'm in Wigan and because bf rates are so low round here there is actually quite a lot offered to help mums, but for some reason I wasn't on the list and only found out 2 days ago and yesterday a lady came round to the house to help me)
Try the nct and La leche helplines - they may have supporters in your area that will travel to you if there's nothing from your local/health authority.
Remember that stress is probably your biggest barrier - so although it's easier said than done you need to avoid anything that adds to your stress. (In my case it was my well meaning but misguided mother! With this 2nd baby she isn't staying with us and visits are strictly limited to her having a little cuddle and then leaving us to our own devices rather than 'helping' around the house)
Wishing you all the best... x

Yes I think that stress & worry from me really isn't helping. Since I wrote my original post yesterday I've been making a real effort to just relax & let dd guide me, & I'm actually enjoying it more too.

I will call some different phone lines today to see what support is available to me I think. As I mentioned before, I live in a little village where I don't know anyone & I don't drive. There is a local parent/toddler group the midwife recommended I go to, but I feel a bit reluctant as most of the children there when I visited before dd was born (to check it out & meet some people) were pre-school age. Still I'm sure the other mum's there would have lots of advice for me. When I went before I did have to go outside though as I had a secret panic attack, but I shouldn't let things like that stop me.

I'm sorry, my post just sounds like me having a conversation with myself! I think writing everything down is helping me get some clarity if that makes sense. Or maybe I'm just sleep deprived & babbling

Thank you all again

Babble away if it's helps.

I also developed anxiety after my baby was born and still do now. I've had a few days where I've not managed to leave the house but I do try for at least a walk around the block. It's hard been remote as well so I hope you find some good in person support but I'll keep checking back here to offer some as well.

butterfly, it's hard to guage what's happening.

Some questions:

What was her birthweight? What did she lose? When did she start gaining? is she producing several soft yellow poos every day? Are you confident she was weighed accurately on all occasions (naked, on decent digital scales) and the weight recorded accurately with no difficulties translating imperial to and from metric?

Face to face help is a great idea.

Diet and fluids will make no difference to milk supply - really. None. Just drink according the thirst and eat normally.

Hope things get better.

Thank you so much it's nice to know I'm not alone. I hope things get better for you too, yes I like taking walks around the village it's good to get out.

Sorry I haven't meant to be confusing.

She born on Wednesday 15th June weighing 7 lb 15 oz. On Saturday 18th she had lost just over 7% I think, and weighed 7 lb 6. The midwife wasn't worried as it's normal. By Monday 20th dd had gained 60 g which midwife said was good, but when she was weighed on Friday she hadn't gained any more. Oh & all four visits I've seen a different midwife, but they all have the same scales & seem to weigh her the same. The midwife on Friday was concerned she hadn't gained anymore weight, & if dd hasn't gained any more by tomorrow she wants us to top her up with formula. Dd has several poos a day, but the midwife was concerned as (sorry if tmi) but a lot of her poos are still the ones that look like they have seeds in but she said they shouldn't be like that now & just yellow. Some are just yellow but some are brown/yellow seedy ones.

Just to share my experience, dd1 put on weight very very slowly. I suffered at the hands of 2 health visitors who, in retrospect, bullied me. It took months for things to come to a head but I ended up seeing a third (senior) hv with me in tears to be told that my baby was happy, healthy, growing normally etc etc. In her opinion dd was just the weight she was meant to be. DD is now 8 and still skinny. My suggestion is, if you don't think there is a problem get another opinion! Although I would also second all the rest of the good advice from others who have posted.

Thank you! It's nice to hear of others experiences. I think (especially being a first time mum) I feel as though I HAVE to do as they say, when it is just advice. Of course if dd needs it I will top her up, but at the same time I want to trust my instincts. I guess I'll just see how tomorrow goes & take it from there.

You weren't confusing, butterfly, just the extra detail helps :)

"She born on Wednesday 15th June weighing 7 lb 15 oz. On Saturday 18th she had lost just over 7% I think, and weighed 7 lb 6. The midwife wasn't worried as it's normal."

Well within normal.

"By Monday 20th dd had gained 60 g which midwife said was good"

Spot on :)

"but when she was weighed on Friday she hadn't gained any more."

OK - then it makes sense for the bf to be looked at....more frequent feeding, using BOTH sides at least every time, if poss.

"if dd hasn't gained any more by tomorrow she wants us to top her up with formula"

It does not need to be formula if it's thought she is not getting sufficient. It can be your own breastmilk - either by feeding her even more often, or by expressing and giving her the extra after a 'direct' bf.

"a lot of her poos are still the ones that look like they have seeds in but she said they shouldn't be like that now"

No - seeds are normal! Most babies have seeds in their poo a some stage - they're just tiny bits of undigested milk, and not a problem at all. Do check with the midwife again.

Poo is not normally brown at this stage, but sometimes the yellow has a mustardy tinge to it :)

If the midwife is concerned because your baby is not getting sufficient calories, then this is easily resolved - get more breastmilk into her :) Ask her why formula at this stage, unless there is a clear indication she is not transferring milk well....and it does not sound like that is an issue.

Thanks tiktok, I really appreciate your response.

Since I first posted this I've been trying to feed her even more, the advice of skin to skin I've had seems to have really helped dd to want to feed more frequently, & I've also been waking her for feeds when needed. I feel a bit bad waking her but I think that's what she needs right now.

Yes I thought the seeds were normal too. To be honest it's been a little tricky seeing four different midwives in the past week (my midwife is on holiday), as they are telling me different things. It's also nice to know if she does need top ups it could be my breast milk. I don't think there's anything wrong with formula & would use it if need be, but would much rather she just had my milk if possible.

All the best for the weigh in today. I hope all the feeding has meant a gain.

We have just got home and dd has gained 80g! The midwife is pleased as am I, & so proud of dd. I just wanted to thank you all for your advice, I think I'd still be struggling if it wasn't for your help

Excellent news what a great weight gain. Well done to you both.

😀😀😀😀😀

Great news - and well done for keeping going. I always say it's a tougher start to establish breastfeeding but well worth it. Today i can see my 12 day old has filled out and it's a great feeling to know that the hard work is starting to pay off. Hope it continues to work well for you and if you need more help then this is a great place to ask!

Thank you it's certainly not always easy, but I'm glad I'm sticking with it & seeing dd gaining weight. I also feel like it's really helping with bonding & I know I'll be glad in the future I've made this decision. I feel as though skin to skin & more frequent feeds are helping my supply, as well as utilising the help out there for breastfeeding. I've also found Kellymom a great place for info for those who recommended it to me. Hopefully we will keep going in the right direction & I can continue to exclusively breastfeed.

Good news OP, well done

I wish I'd known when DD was wee that it takes about 6 weeks to get easier. When she was born the midwives made us top up as she was a bit poorly and they were worried about jaundice, so we did and it really wasn't a big deal. Apart from the first week or two and the very occasional bottle she was EBF until 9 months. People seem to think the occasional top up is the end of the world.

I just expected BF to be automatic. But after a while it will be so don't stress too much.