Babymoon - how does one do that exactly?

[thomsc]

Our ds is not getting as heavy as everyone (especially those in white coats) would like and he's not very good at feeding for too long. He managed 17 minutes the other day, but it's normally 3-4 minutes per breast if that. he seems happy enough, but it's been stressful for us, especially DW.

He's happy (when not complaining about us trying to feed him) and alert and lots of fun... but...

Someone suggested a babymoon. Sound great, we get that mum and son are going to have a bed-in and feedathon all skin-to-skin etc but how does one sort out the 'not having the duvet over him' and keep him warm enough if everyone is nekkid?

Anyone done this? any tips? I've got the chocolate and mags already.

I'm off to pull out the sofa bed for me.

I'll check back soon!

I did this with dd when she had a couple of bottles too many and my milk supply was a bit low. it was summer so no blankets were needed but we were both clothed - skin to skin can be arms, head etc, doesn't have to be full body (imo - poss some hippies will tell you different). when I feed babies in bed in winter usually I put them in a sleeping bag on top of the duvet. a babymoon doesn't have to be a 48 hour (or whatever) thinkg either - just a lot longer than you normally would spend in bed with baby. when they'reb a bit tired works best I find.

But anyway if he's happy there is not necessarily any problem. some babies do feed for longer than others. ds2 (who is a big fatty) feeds a lot less than ds1 (who is v small) did in total. I'm pretty sure ds2 didn't feed for more than about 10 mins a go until he was a good few weeks or so too. IO admit, 3-4 mins is short, but depending on how often you feed him, it's not necessarily a problem. how often does he feed? how old is he?

Sometimes I think those in the white coats fuss about things that they really don't need to. How is your son's weight going - is he gaining at all, is he losing, is he dropping down the centile charts? Is he generally healthy, having plenty of wet nappies, that kind of thing? If everything else is OK, there's probably not too much to worry about.

How old is he? Some babies get to be so efficient at feeding that three or four minutes is enough - although obviously that's not the case with all babies. Again, as long as he's doing OK otherwise, he's probably getting enough.

Re the duvet thing - I used to feed as far up towards the top of the bed as I could, so that I was partially covered but dd wasn't completely covered. If the room is nice and warm, your wife shouldn't feel too cold being nekkid. She can sit up, lie down, whatever feels comfortable as long as there's plenty of skin-to-skin - which doesn't necessarily have to be head-to-toe contact. Lots of cuddles, lots of relaxing.

It doesn't have to be all day - just lots more time than you normally would, and much more relaxed if feeding normally stresses your wife out.

that reminds me - ds2 is 5 months and hasn't met anyone in a white coat yet. god I'm slack.

he's 17 weeks old, 11lbs 5oz and only put on 1 oz in the last fortnight - average is 4oz a week.

but he is so smiley.

he has dropped down a few centiles... 50th to 0.4th

we get stern looks from the HV...

off to see a paed in 2 weeks. trying to see if we can make a difference before they start poking him with sticks.

btw - both of us are amazed at the rapid and generous responses!

oh, not much younger than ds2 then.

extra time in bed with him probably a good idea - have fun!

You're bloody lovely, you know - what a lucky DW and DS you have

thank you... too kind

actually, tonight i feel it. DW left at 815pm for her first NCTmums sans babies meet- up and the heavy front door made a BANG, leaving me with an angry and hungry bairn.

All fine now. 150ml and now asleep.

was it the chocolate and magazines that got your vote hunkermunker?

on the weight issue. i was 8 stone when i went to college (19 years ago) and DW is still a size 10... so I'm not expecting ds to be a sumo.

grrrr to heavy front doors.

you might find this site useful

your wife is very lucky to have a husband as helpful and supportive as you

Chocolate is always a good move in my book too

I think hunker is right ... and not only because of the chocolate (although that would be a plus). The fact that you are openly supportive will be a huge benefit to your wife and son - nothing less likely to help you relax than a dh who doesn't give a damn (and there are sadly lots of those around).

I hope it works for you - it can't do any harm at all.

Good luck to Mrs thomsc and babythomsc. With a lovely dh/dad like you, they are going to be fine

Hope you get to join in the snuggling too - babymoon is a lovely thing to do, so you're lucky to have a good excuse

DS wandered round the centiles too, and settled under the 10th, I think - we got stern looks too, and it is unsettling. With DD2 we just avoided the white coats - I suspect she's in for a lecture about eating more at her 9-12 month check soon ...
Like you, both me & dh are fairly diddy, so expecting us to produce a big lardy-arsed baby seemed a bit hopeful...

Good luck, & let us know how it goes...

The chocolate and magazines were part of it, I admit it

But it's the support and the "what can I do to help" that clinched it - not many men would post on MN to help their wives (there are a couple on here and they're lovely - you're in good company!).

I agree that your baby is unlikely to be massive if you and your DW aren't big people yourselves.

How is he? Alert? Happy? Content between feeds? Weeing and pooing?

awww shucks, stop.

DizzyBint - thanks for the link. I had a look at the various bits, and they seem to agree with some of my thoughts.

Hopefully tomorrow's babymoon will get the feedings more relaxed, and we'll see how his weight goes.

Don't you just hate those weigh-in sessions? Perhaps his Grandpa will get his wish and he'll be a jockey!

ok... off to make me some dinner, now the little chap has had his.

About the duvet thing - I used to have our duvet pulled over me as far up as ds's feet, and then a cot blanket (or two) over both of us.

Have you considered not weighing him? If he is happy?

yes, if you find the weigh ins helpful then keep going, but if not, you don't HAVE to go. i was delighted when i realised i didn't actually have to go, it was just the HV saying, see you in 2 weeks.

oh i'm all for not weighing him, but the docs are on a FTT trip now.

He's had a couple of very non clear ether way urine tests (ie, bugs and bugs but not enough of one to make it an infection of X bug).

DW is (understandably) concerned and upset about the FTT and I want to get to a point where they can say "well nothing is actually identifiably wrong, perhaps he's just skinny"

which reminds me, i was going to grill that steak in the fridge... with the new pots, asparagus and some garlic butter...

hunkermunker - he's very alert (part of the problem at feed time, he is Distracto-Boy!)

very happy, placid, happy to meet people, laughs and grins all day - pretty damn perfect.

He has got my hair and ears, so i have a lot to make up for... poor chap.

apparently docs aren't meant to say FTT anymore - no one is a failure in our bright shiny world, which sounds fair.

well, the babymoon appears to be going well.

A very happy boy and a very relaxed mommy.

The ovens cleaned and the floors are scrubbed.

thanks for all the tips and advice... much appreciated!

Thomsc, Mrs THomsc and Baby Thomsc

Brilliant - glad to hear it.

Keep up the good work!