Not sure I can cope with breastfeeding much longer.

[Heavenscent86]

So I'm 4.5 weeks into breastfeeding my baby and really starting to feel I can't cope with it much longer. Baby has had a tongue tie. He has anterior and posterior. The anterior one was snipped but so far there is no real improvement.
He struggles to latch. We can spend ages trying to latch him on for him to pull off after a minute spraying milk everywhere, exposing my nipple to the world and then needing relatching again. More frustrated bobbing around while we try to relatch him. It makes it really difficult to feed discreetly when out. My nipples feel as though they have been sandpapered they are so sore. I'm exhausted from the continuous feeding particularly at night. Tonight we have been up at 10, 11, 12, 2 for an hour and now 4 for another hour. He is very refluxy so I am constantly covered in sick. Luckily he has gained weight well so he is managing to take in enough milk.
I just don't known how much longer I can keep going with it. I'm so sore and tired. I don't want to stop, I breastfed my daughter until she was 2 and loved it. I wanted to do the same again but this time round I find I am dreading feed time and I have only managed just over 4 weeks so far. I feel like I am failing somehow.

My DD had posterior tongue tie snipped at 2 weeks, she's now 10weeks and we just stopped using nipple shields a few weeks ago. I definitely would have stopped BF without using them, I remember how excruciating it was

How's it going today?

Hi iemma, thanks for asking. We struggled during the night with latching. This morning he was very hungry and took three feeds from me but kept bringing so much of it back up and then screaming for more. In the end I got desperate and gave him a mini bottle of formula. This settled him and he went to sleep for two hours and didn't bring anything back up until after his next feed from me. This bothers me as he was so unhappy intil I gave him the formula top up. I spoke to the lactation consultant who snipped his anterior tongue tie. She believes his posterior tie is a problem but says it has to be snipped until general anaesthetic and the surgeon is very unlikely to do it as baby is gaining weight. I get a pump tomorrow to try expressing. I'm feeling very confused about what to do for the best and what to do next. I can't afford to get his tongue tie divided privately unfortunately. Cranial osteopathy was recommended by the lactation consultant but again that looks to be very pricey but I have requested some info from someone that does it.

IIRC a private division costs about £90. That's what my friend paid. Is that too much?

I think I would not pay for cranial osteopathy unless you can get the TT divided. It's unlikely to help as much as the division would.

Just take things one day at a time And it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Is he able to feed using nipple shields? That might help you for the time being.

Why does PTT need to be under GA? Ours didn't and she was fine getting hers done privately cos us £300 I think(all a bit of a blur!!) with two follow up appointments with lactation consultant. We live in London though and that's quite reasonable compared to others I saw! We also had cranial osteopathy at a charity called the OCC, I'm not sure if they're based elsewhere than London but it was £25 a pop as opposed to£60 or some ridiculous price! I agree tho getting TT divided will have more of an impact than osteopathy!

I don't know why it has to be done under GA but apparently that's the only way the hospital can do it. I could see a private practitioner but it's upwards of £120 and I don't have that kind of money at the moment. Similarly the cranial osteopathy is very expensive. I have just got some nipple shields so I'm going to try them today and hopefully they will help.

The divisions can be pricey, but some practitioners have a payment plan.

The cost of division is about the cost of 10-12 tins of formula. When you look at it like that, long term it can save you cash.

It infuriates me that the NHS makes these services so hard to come by. It's not fair that you are struggling and in pain

I found the nipple shields slightly confusing at first. Make sure you're getting the suction right as it will make them much more effective. It took me ages to get the hang of it, you have to kind of push in just at the edges of the nipple so it doesn't invert but kind of makes a little Mexican hat type thing, then place that bit over the nipple and kind of stretch the rest of the shield out until the whole nipple pops up, creating suction. I'm not sure that's the best description of it but there are you tube videos you can watch!! hope they help.

I think the most important thing here is to ditch the guilt.

If a baby breast feeds nicely after an initial period of adjustment, then that is the right thing for that baby. If a baby struggles with this, for whatever reason, then that baby needs to be transferred to formula so that Mum can relax and baby can enjoy his feeds. We all know that breast is best - and I wholeheartedly endorse that, but some babies do not take to it and then we just have to be very thankful indeed that modern formula feeds are available that get as close to breast milk as possible.

Your baby has had the vital colostrum - so well done you! - pat on the back! I know how desperate mums feel in this situation. You have done well to soldier on so long.

Tbh at this point it's about what's in the best interests of the baby. An op under GA just on the off chance that I could continue to BF would be a bridge too far for me. It's not as if the baby will suffer with formula! In fact he seems to be happier with it.

I think it's very hard to separate emotion from objectivity when sleep deprived and upset. But your child is telling you what it needs. It needs to be fed by bottle right now, whether expressed milk or formula as it's the only way to stop the hunger. So that's what you must do.

I don't think I could have him go through the op under GA unless he was going to have big problems in the future. Thank you for the advice on nipple shields. If I do move him onto formula what is the best way to do it? If I was just to stop right now I imagine it would be very painful for me as he is pretty much exclusively breastfed. He has only had a very small amount of formula.

You basically replace a feed a day and express only enough to give your boobs comfort. Express the full lot and your body is getting the wrong message, that you need that amount.

It can take a good while to transition fully. If once you have transitioned fully, your boobs still haven't lessened and it's bothering you a lot, sudafed lessens supply.

Hi just wanted to provide an update on my situation. My baby is now 7.5 weeks old and still breast feeding. Things have gradually settled although it is still painful at times. On the whole though it is a much more enjoyable experience. He does have an occasional bottle of formula to give me a break and enable me to get some sleep. I'm really pleased and glad i persevered with the feeding. I hope my update is encouraging for other people that come across this post struggling.

Thank you for the update. So happy to hear you figured it out.

heaven that's a lovely update. I just wanted to add my daughter has/had tongue tie which I didn't get cut and over time it stopped hurting to feed her. I think the tie stretched or broke or something but time was all it needed.