determined to BF- what to take into hospital to give birth?

[buttershy]

Hi all,

I'm 24 wks pregnant with 1st baby and absolutely determined to the point of obsession about breastfeeding, hence why I'm already thinking about this topic- what to take into hospital?

Here are a few things I thought might be useful to take in my bag, please say if you agree/disagree and if there's anything else you'd recommend! (Please note I saw a sign in my hospital that said no formula or bottles are provided including sterilising facilities?!)

1. Doidy cup
2. Medela nipple shield
3. Medela hand held breast pump
4. Nipple cream (I have the earth mama Angel baby one, worth picking up lanisoh too?)
5. Nursing bra and button front shirts/nightie
6. Breast pads

Do you think I should also take in a few cartons of ready mixed aptamil and a bottle, in case it doesn't work out or I need some time to figure it out without baby starving and being distressed?

Also, if I sterilise things at home, e.g the breast pump and store in a ziplock bag does that stay sterile for a few days until needed in hospital?

Is there any other prep I should be doing? I have bought 'the womanly art of breastfeeding' and check out blogs and YouTube videos. I didn't have a lot of success getting in touch with la leche league BF consultants but hopefully there is one who might be available to call out in an emergency!

Thanks all!

Boobs.

My first I ended up expressing for him on neonatal unit, pumps etc were provided, and cup feeding briefly, again all provided.

I'd also take the numbers of bf counsellors locally in case you need to call them, I did.

And I'd also take a complete determination that you'll do it, I needed to call on that when hospital were being crap.

And take an understanding that it doesn't have to be hard. We had time in neonatal, expressing, tube feeding, then establishing feeding and none of it was hard. It can be of course but doesn't have to be. And my belief that I can and would do it was what buttressed me against the hospital crap that made it potentially hard.

You need nursing bra, breast pads, lansinoh. If you need to express they will find you a pump. Hope all goes well x

Not to be a downer, but I'd also take an understanding that it can be very hard indeed and sometimes it can be impossible. I never really had a plan either way but did breast feed happily for a year (after a terrible start), but I have known many women who, for various reasons, were unable to do so despite desparately wanting to and who beat themselves up for it for years after. Go with the flow, do your best but don't be obsessive about it.

My boobs leaked all over my hospital gown walking to theatre for the ELCS to have DD so I agree with those suggesting breast pads.

Just a word of warning though - you say you're obsessed but please don't put too much pressure on yourself. I was devastated when DS couldn't bf (it was due to tongue tie) and if I had been more relaxed (bad experience with midwife panicked me) I think he and I could have done it once his tongue tie was rectified. Unfortunately all the stress and pressure I put on myself meant I ended up sobbing my heart out in Mothercare looking at breast pumps because I felt like a total failure. I expressed BM for 4 months and used formula top ups but this was an unnecessarily exhausting rehime (I was obsessed by rectifying "my" failure). I wish I'd been easier on myself.

DD is a totally different story and the support from midwives this time was that they were close at hand but I wasn't pressured if you see what I mean. Several midwives reassured me by saying that babies need to learn too in their own way (one told me about biological nurturing which I then googled and put into practise) whereas my pre-reading choices before DS gave the impression that the baby would definitely know what to do immediately so in DS's case I incorrectly assumed that the problem was me.

That's a 5000 essay on going easy on yourself!

I am one of the women phoolani mentioned in our x post, I'm still beating myself up about it 4 years on. In fact I welled up talking to my DM about it this morning!

I repeat: Go easy on yourself!

Stiffstink please let it go! Women like you make me cry! I watched a friend struggle though PND brought on primarily through feelings of inadequacy about breast feeding when she simply didn't produce any milk. Your child is loved and you did the best you could at the time, which is the best we can aim for. It's enough.

my tips:

• If you feel like your baby isn't feeding well, do bug the midwives for help (try different midwives as some are better than others)

• if it's still not working, ask for 1ml and 5ml syringes (with screw caps) and ask a midwife to show you how to hand express colostrum into them. Bf and top up your baby with expressed colostrum till you get home (remember colostrum is meant to be only tiny amounts)

• when you get home, if there are any issues, see the best BF counsellor you can find (sadly that may mean private, so set some £ aside if you can)

for your bag: stretchy tops, comfy BF bras, breast pads, lansinoh

I found a breast feeding cushion (one of those half-donut-shaped things, that go round your tummy and the baby lies on) quite useful in the first few weeks. I was lucky as a good friend let me borrow hers. You don't need them for long (although they can double up as something to help the baby sit up a few months on). If I was going to bf a baby again and wanted to treat myself to something, I'd definitely buy one of these.

phoolani Thanks for your kind words!

Just remembered another thing OP - my comfiest maternity bra is an ugly seamless thing from M&S (2pk in nude & black for about £29.50). So ugly but much better than the seams in other bras. I got an XL size for my behemoths but only after birth, whereas the stretchiness means I could have considered sizes just before birth instead.

I literally just took my boobs.DC was born and skin to skin immediately.... DC wriggled his way to boob and latched! Job done !
This happened with DS1 and DD3. DS2 didn't do this and could latch but vomited everything .... Found he was FTT baby!

I too agree with phoolani. Being obsessive about anything that you can't necessarily control is always risky. There are many reasons why breastfeeding might not be what you expect it to be. I hope it's everything you hope for, but I actually think the best thing for you to take to hospital is an open and relaxed attitude. Do continue to educate yourself, that's v important. But remember that your priority is that the baby should be fed and nourished, not that you breastfeed. Chances are very good that these are one and the same, but don't set yourself up for tragedy if they turn out not to be.

Oh a handy tip I learned second time round when I went to a breastfeeding group.

Learn about the different kind of sucks that baby will do when feeding. As I said earlier, DD2 used to fall asleep alot and she took 6 weeks to get back to birthweight.

I think alot of the time DD2 was on the boob comfort sucking which is fine and what they need at times, but if I'd known earlier, I would have encouraged her to wake up more. You can tell when they are actually swallowing (their chin and neck pulls in) but when they get to the more fluttery sucks there probably isn't the milk transfer happening.

Tickling feet makes can encourage them to suck or the threat of removing DD seemed to do the job. You just gently press a finger at the side of their mouth and turn it like a key to break the latch.

Follow your instincts because they are damn good. You'll know your baby more than anyone

Just take your boobs.

No formula. You are extremely unlikely to need it. The chances of actually not being able to breastfeed are minuscule.

People tend to give up because they think they don't have enough milk, when actually they do.

Things to remember -

• babies do not visibly 'suck' as newborns so it can be hard to see if they're getting anything when you're inexperienced.

If they are content on the breast, sleeping after a feed and having plenty of wet nappies, they're getting enough.

• your milk will not come in straight away. Colostrum is thick and your baby will only need tiny amounts.

• sometimes, there may be a night or day around day 3 when your milk hasn't quite come in yet and the baby is very hungry and wants to feed constantly (cluster feeding).

THIS IS NORMAL. They need to be put to the breast every time they cry/wake up, and the milk will be stimulated to come in. If you want to breastfeed, DO NOT give formula. Your baby needs to be at the breast to make the milk come in.

• every time they wake up or cry, put on the breast. Watch out for early feeding cues like mouth opening and closing - try not to let them get to the crying stage.

Good luck

Sushi's post is very wise.

Another of the obsessed about breastfeeding, it didn't work and I got pnd club here. Honestly, please try to relax and go with the flow.

I am combination feeding my four week old DS at the moment, because I had an EMCS and complications. It's so much easier than the stress of feeding DD five years ago with her undiagnosed tongue tie, hospitalisation and failure to thrive. I have been referred to birth trauma counselling for DS birth, but I spent the whole of the phone assessment sobbing about breastfeeding in 2011.

Don't be me. I was obsessed before and after the birth. It was not healthy. This time I had a more relaxed attitude and the whole family is happier for it.

See I beg to differ. I bf my daughter for 20months in the end, but my milk took ages to come in, she screamed blue murder for 3-4 nights (as had my son before her)...and I ended up giving about 5-10ml of the pre mixed bottle stuff in the wee hours....didn't effect my success of feeding when my milk eventually came in.

I don't think I was obsessed with breastfeeding. I wouldn't call it that. I just had this urge to feed my baby what was designed for her. The normal way. Nutrition is very important to me.

I found it very hard both times, 5 years apart. Hardest thing I've ever done. But things fell into place after the really early weeks. Everyone has different experiences.

In this society I don't think it comes very natural to us anymore. I was never really exposed to breastfeeding growing up. So take the help if you need it!

Massaging nipples is advance is very dated and incorrect advice. Nipple stimulation may even begin on early labour and the NHS strongly discourages it even in the case of mum's with GD who need to express colostrum antenatally sometimes for whom the earliest rec is 37 weeks. So there is no need to "toughen up" your nipples so to speak.

I didn't take anything into hospital specifically in preparation to BF, other than my boobs. Of all the things I would say on your list Lansinoh just in case would be worth it.

I BF two babies. One had issues latching at first so I used the lanolin to help heal chapped nipples in the first few weeks. The other had zero issues.

The most conducive things to successful BF, in my opinion, aren't items. It's space to learn in peace, gentle positive support where required, and patience. I was fortunate, both my babies fed well and the latching issues for then first were positioning issues which I fixed easily.

If you don't find it so easy ask for support from someone with BF training.

And remember, BFing is important and valuable, it does confer benefits to mother and child, but it isn't the be all and end all. All I would say is, as with any birth plan you may have, be prepared to be flexible as you don't know what's going to happen.

I was determined to breastfeed and read loads in advance- which terrified me! I was convinced that I would have incredibly sore nipples, people pushing formula and no sleep. None of my close friends or family breastfed so I had no personal experience.

In the end even though I had a very difficult time resulting in a GA section and a separation for a few hours after birth my DD latched like a pro from the first feed. I never needed nipple cream, had lots of milk frok day 4 and the hospital staff were very supportive and helpful. She lost more weight than expected in first few days(likely due to the litres of fluids I got during labour) - this was dealt with calmly, and as my milk had just come in and she was alert and well this was dealt with calmly and resolved very quickly.

I'm glad I knew about the potential problems, but I just like to point out that it can be easy for plenty people.Those of us who find it really easy don't tend to populate the feeding boards etc so you don't necessarily hear our stories!

Take your boobs and an open mind.

It's lovely your determined to breast feed- as was I. But my DS needed some formula in NICU for his blood sugars. I was happy with that and still BF. DS was also tounge tied so my experience was short lived.

My friend in a similar situation however has never got over not being about to BF her baby.

My hospital also had a no formula policy but they will allow for medical reasons.

Take a starter kit and leave in the car, we took the brand we wanted to use and my DH just went to get it.

I was given a little medicine cup to cup feed from, before that a syringe to dropper it in.

I wish I had brought my own hand pump because I was never offered one, and I'm sure I could have used one at a certain point rather than hand expressing, I did straight away from home and it was much easier.

The most important thing I should have brought was a device for looking up advice and watching videos actually on the ward, as bfing knowledge was not what I would have hoped (had to retype that bit to sound less bitter!). You can research all you want before but unless you are in the moment with a specific problem it won't be as useful. I was so happy when I got my DS to latch on (badly, but on) for the first time after watching a youtube video when I got home!

However, if researching before helps you then go for it. I know some people find they get worried and stressed by researching things before hand but I found I got stressed out if I felt things were out of my control and I didn't know what was going on, so for some of us the opposite is true.

Lansinoh, breast pads and a small
Bottle of formula to put your mind at ease. I didn't need mine in the end but knowing I had it meant that I worried a lot less. Several friends of mine mixed fed from birth and were still able to breast feed without any problems, so don't see giving formula as the end of breast feeding- it doesn't need to be.

I would also advocate skin to skin and asking midwife if they'll help them latch on straight after birth. As long as you're conscious, the way you give birth doesn't matter (a friend did this after her section, and I had epidurals and diamorphine with both of mine), they should still be able to do skin to skin barring medical emergency. It's a nice thing to do and can be quite reassuring when you're new to having a baby.

Lastly, remember that the nourishment from the placenta will keep them going for a little while so
don't get too anxious if they're too sleepy to feed for the first few hours. Both mine slept for a good 6 hours or so after the births. They would only take a little colostrum for the first 24hrs, they were sleepy and full. Once my milk came in it was a different story!

Check out what your local breastfeeding support is and join local groups - we have nhs/local authority peer-to-peer supporters linked to the sure start centre and a la leche league group that is a bit further away. I think NCT might also do BF support - do some googling now while you have the time!
Don't need to go beforehand but can be useful to know what days they meet and where, join their facebook groups if they exist and whether there is any support that will come to your home.
Have their phone numbers in your phone - but I seem to remember that most are volunteer staff so no one there in the middle of the night but you might be able to leave a message.

Agree with others though - and try to relax a bit and don't put yourself under too much pressure. Yes its important to be familiar with the facts and that regular mixed feeding will impact your supply but the odd bottle of formula is ok, when you're 4 or 5 days in and everything is overwhelming. Especially when you are tired, hormonal and possibly feeling stressed if your baby is low weight or jaundiced.

If you don't have any breastfeeding family or friends, it may be worth trying to reach out and make some contacts. This was my biggest problem - no one around me was comfortable with it, so when I was worried they offered incorrect advice. That said be wary of some breastfeeding advocates that can be overzealous about the cause - they can forget that there is a tired, emotional and scared mum in all this that's trying her best...

Bf pillow made all the difference for me. Supportive donut shaped. Still using it 9 months on. Much easier to feed if you are comfortable!
Join local LLL Facebook group and follow the threads, you'll learn a lot.
Look up flipple technique on you tube.
Knowledge is key. Try to understand supply and demand. If you give a bottle your supply will go down and just makes things harder. It's normal to have baby on the boob a lot. Be prepared for tenderness on day2/3 when your milk comes in. Good luck!

I'm totally speechless and overwhelmed I could never imagine so many people would leave not just short practical answers but really useful deeper stories about what worked and didn't work. I have learnt so much from your experiences and it's been a real eye opener. Thank you for sharing, especially those who had difficult experiences and I am so sorry some of you are still hurting over what went wrong or how you were treated. I really can't thank you enough. I have a lot to note down and this thread will be saved so I have it to look back on xxxx