Please share your best and worst experiences of... Public Breastfeeding

[mrsjskelton]

I'm a new mum with a 7 week old DD. She's EBF and on occasions I've felt the need to express and take a bottle (probably three times since she was born). I do this on these seldom occasions because I fear public breastfeeding although I do BF in some public places if I know it well. Please could MNers share their best and worst experiences of public BF? Have people ever said anything to you? Good or bad. I'm curious about the kind of reception BFing mum's experience.

I agree with bat, breastfeeding covers, with their bright colours and strange shape, bring much more attention than a baggy top or scarf.

I've breastfed my 11week old DS everywhere and only once had an odd luck of a woman around my age who clearly thought bfing in public shouldn't be done but she walked off and I just ignored her.

Also agree that most people ignore you or are positive. McDonald's employees are surprisingly helpful and men on the whole are less concerned than women (maybe less observant). I personally prefer to be discrete- top pulled up, vest pulled down rather than flopping over the top but each to their own.

Also agree that a calm baby is much easier to latch!

Bfing in public is not how the media makes it out to be. Yes some people are dicks and yes, some women have bad experiences but most people see it as normal and don't bat an eyelid.

And remember, under UK law (equalities act 2010) no one can ask you to leave/move/cover up because you are breastfeeding - just don't sit blocking a fire exit!

Look off, not luck of!

Best thing was eating cake and drinking tea whilst snuggled in the corner of a nice cafe cuddling my baby!

Not so good was when she got to about 6 months and wanted to keep unlatching to look around and my milk would squirt across the table...However I soon got myself more prepared with extra muslins on hand and also she was at the age I could give her a yoghurt or something instead and a cup of drink and then breastfeed at home!

Have fed pretty well everywhere with my 7yo, including through midnight mass and a candlelit carol service at a cathedral and only had positive attention from other people.

My only negative experiences - outside on a hill top can be very cold - wouldn't try again unless desperate - and juggling baby and dog while sorting out bra clips can be a faff - put baby in sling or pram first! Very noisy locations are not ideal - if they forget to let go before gawping around that is quite sore...

7 mo who decided to wake up early this morning hence my inability to type!

I agree with bat, breastfeeding covers, with their bright colours and strange shape, bring much more attention than a baggy top or scarf.
They're not designed to pretend you're not breastfeeding though, are they? Why they hell would you want to pretend you're not feeding.
I wish they made them with HEY I AM FEEDING MY BABY written on the front to counter exactly this kind of assumption.

Sorry rant coming up but... one of the main issues I've had with certain corners of the online BF community and one incident in real life is cover shaming/misunderstanding.
Covers aren't generally used to hide the fact we feed. They're used to cover mum's skin above or below baby. Those are two TOTALLY different things.

Many women don't use covers to hide the fact we are feeding: we use covers to facilitate a restful feed with a distracted baby, we use covers because the little wire bit gives a good view and a scarf doesn't, we wear covers when it's too warm for 2 layered vests ... or more often to hide skin we might not want to show for cultural/confidence/scars/body-image reasons or - in my case - an unsightly postpartum rash. We don't care whether people know we are feeding!

In fact we're proud of the feeding part. And our body issues/beliefs are our body issues/beliefs, along with most of the population. Having absolute body confidence is NOT a requisite for feeding and I cannot stress enough covering up your skin is NOT the same as a desire not to be seen as feeding: I am 100% completely happy to be seen as a natural term breastfeeder. As such, I therefore resent any criticism of my choice to use a cover.

Furthermore I find it incredibly ironic that the same people who second guess me as ashamed because I use a cover then go on to tell everyone that using 1-up-1-down or a scarf is more discrete!
Who wants to make it seem like they don't want anyone to know they're a breastfeeder now??

I think the Badass Breastfeeder did an amazing post on exactly this topic - cover shaming/hierarchy. www.thebadassbreastfeeder.com/breastfeeding-public-nursing-covers/

As I said upthread, the ONLY time I've ever had a bad experience feeding was when I was cover-shamed. I was trying to feed my very 'wired' 8 month old to sleep. The cover was essentially blinkers: it was not a 'blanket' stifling her, it was light cotton. She was cool and comfortable out of the sun and conked out asleep, I used the cover as a 'top' as I popped her back in the pram then hooked up my bra etc.
I bloody well co-ordinated a local BF cafe FFS!! Everyone in my area knew full well I am a feeder.

...from the article above:
"Women who choose to cover are not ashamed of themselves, they are not treating breastfeeding like a dirty little secret and, no, babies do not suffocate under nursing covers unless you cover with a Hefty bag. It’s a common argument against covering that covering draws more attention. Well, these women don’t seem to me like they are trying to hide anything anyway and isn’t that for them to decide?"

Exactly.

Op the only person who ever said anything to me about breastfeeding when I was out and about was my mother! She can be a bit of a daft bat sometimes.

Congrats on your wee one.

I breast fed in public from when DD was just a few days old. Never, ever had anything but positive comments, although to be honest very few people ever said anything. I fed her just about anywhere I could perch my bum. I never really wore any feeding tops, I just bought a whole heap of body con vests from h&m to wear under my normal t-shirts and tops. I could get all ready to feed under the top then pull it up when I was ready but the vest meant I wasn't showing off my tummy. AND it was a bonus for when the baby was sick down me as I knew I could always just take the top one off!

Not a single negative comments or look here.
I fed on park benches, middle of shopping centre, McDonald's, Costa, at table of wedding reception, hospitals, bus stops, anywhere and everywhere and I wasn't very discreet!
It gets blown up in the media but don't think it really happens v often

Don't remember having any bad comments. I've had older ladies saying well done, what a cutie, and my granny wanting a cuddle and me having to point out I was feeding her not just holding her...!

First bf in public at 10 days old and think I made a hash of being discreet but I was so proud to be out doing it. And everyone at JL I flashed, thanks for not complaining!

I remember feeding my second in a pub once and felt I was getting glared at by an older man - was starting to feel really self conscious when he walked past and said in a really nice way "good for you love, keep going!" So sometimes even if you think you're getting the evil eye, it actually isn't!

I was always desperate for someone to say something negative so I could annihilate them, but never anything but friendliness, free cups of tea and support. Bloody annoying!

Currently have a 6 week old DD2 and more relaxed about feeding in public second time round. I don't think I've had any comments and would hope that no one will feel the need to comment.

I get the feeling my mum would be mortified if I fed in public. But tough titty. It's normal and I wish people would realise this. Perhaps most people do if I've never had any comments!

I'm keen to get out there and feed though that's for sure. The more folk that do it the better!

Alright squiz, chill out. I find covers a fucking pain in the arse, is all. Use one or don't. Who cares? I wasn't suggesting those who do are embarrassed. I've never been embarrassed to feed, just suffered from low body confidence in the early days. No need to go on a hyper-rant; OP wasn't asking for that.

Not had any good/bad really!

I was to a Harvester with my parents and my dad piped up 'what's the policy with feeding, do you have to cover up?!?'

Lol

I was at hospital with hubby and waiting for him to come out of a blood test. This nurse comes up to me and asked if I would like to go somewhere private, I just said no!

I think she was trying to be helpful....well I hope she was!

No particularly good or bad experiences here. I've been feeding 22 week old DD out and about since she was a week or so old. I tried covering up with a scarf in the early days as I felt quite self conscious but she was having none of it, she likes to see what's going on!

I got congratulated for doing it a couple of times!?
I got a few errrrrs what is she doing from daft teenagers. But to be fair I wasn't embarassed and didn't cover myself that well. I used to wear a slim cami vest and pop the breast out above that and use my t shirt to create a little coverage but it was minimal.
My dd would cry out 'sucks' as she got older.

Feeding DD1 out and about since 2 days old. Nothing said about it either way. I've fed her in coffee shops, walking up the high street and at the beach.
I've been all geared up for a fight and no one has uttered a word. Mind you im probably giving off don't mess with me vibes.

Breastfeeding 3rd child at moment. Only "bad" experiences as result of my own children. I remember latching DS2 on in JL cafe and eldest announces "he needed a poo". So I had to unlatch screaming DS2. Milk spraying across table. Ask someone at a nearby table to make sure they didn't clear the table. Go to loos with screaming baby. Good times!

Had some strange comments from my DH (who is very supportive of me bf children). Other day in Tesco's I asked him to hold DD1 while I got my boob out. DH, "are you going to feed DD?" Me, "no darling, just planning to flash some passing shoppers."

I've never had any negative comments, or positive ones particularly either. I think a lot of the time, people wouldn't necessarily realise what that you were breastfeeding anyway. The media loves to make it into a big hooha, but that's certainly never been my experience. Go for it, op!

I'm in London, loads of mums and I've breastfed in lots of places - cafes, cinema, park etc I can't say I've ever seen anyone give me a second glance! As others have said, vest under a top is super discrete and it just looks like you're cuddling little one

I was really nervous and it helped that the first few times I fed I was with my mum friends from antenatal with similar aged babies. You'll be fine!

Got my first comment today. I was in a packed Costa Coffee and the lady sitting next to me said how nice it was to see.

We chatted about how she was from a generation of breath in public being frowned upon. I still think it kind of is! But it's got to be done so that breastfeeding can hopefully be viewed as normal!

I've been feeding fir over 5 years, in several counties and I have had one slightly negative experience. On the whole nobody even notices and if they do they say how lovely it is, or how they enjoyed feeding thier own kids.