even more confused now! I need tiktok

[BigBellyCornflakeKid]

Right - have read through a number of threads (some more useful than others )about breastfeeding, down some research myself and thought about buying a book...but everyone says different things - I can see tiktok is the guru I need in my life from april and have asked a few questions before...but here are some more

1. latching on - nose to nipple and as much in mouth as possible? Supposed not to hurt if latched on properly - but some say it hurts anyway??? (see confusion)

2. fore milk/hind milk - should the breast be emptied to ensure get full feed???

3. do you or don't you offer both sides at one feed? or does it depend on whether they are still hungry or should you do it anyway?

4. I would like to express milk so dh can help out at night - when do I express? In between feeds/on which breast???? I plan to start early on with this rather than using formula - surely its better to do it this way than get overtired and give up???

5. which book if any to read before april?

As a bit of background - had nightmare feeding ds1 mainly due to the advice received in hospital in first 3 days being plain crap, nightmare to latch on, 5 minute feeds and constant crying. It made my first 6 weeks with him a misery and then started bottle feeding - he was clearly just not getting enough milk or the right bit of the milk iyswim! I then refused to feed ds2 because I was worried about his first weeks being horrible too and bottle fed happily from birth. No 3 due in April and want to breastfeed this time but feel I will need the right information and the right support. Friends who have breastfed have offered their help and support but I think I need professional help. There is a La Leche League and NCT group here - NCT were not helpful last time at all - 'just keep going' was pretty crap really - didn't feel the counsellor had any understanding of the problems I was having - I hope she was a one off though and things have moved on in the past 6 years. Do LLL do antenatal classes or home visits? Can I pay someone to come to my home and sort it out - do I need a doula?

As you can see - the more I think about it the more confused I get - I just don't want to be stressed about it before the birth as will end up buying some formula!

Thanks for help - onebigconfusedbellycornflakekid xoxoxox

Lovely as tiktok is, you really need local support. I think LLL do groups you can visit? (We are all BFN here.)

Our local hospital does breastfeeding courses, as well, for pregnant ladies.

I can try to answer, but as you'd expect, if tiktok says anything that contradicts me, believe her (like you wouldn't anyway!)

1. Nose to nipple, yes. There are some interesting techniques where you kinda let the baby latch itself on - much nicer than shoving the baby at the breast. Yes, sometimes it can hurt but be ok (e.g. letdown pain, or just a really enthusiastic sucker), but if it hurts, you should see someone to see what's going on.

1. A breast is never empty. Just let the baby feed from one breast until they want to stop. If they come off and still seem hungry, offer the other breast.

1. See #2.

1. I found it easiest to express on the side my LO wasn't feeding on. But it's best to leave expressing out for the first six weeks (and, if possible, sleep with your baby, so you get more sleep), to avoid nipple confusion and oversupply issues.

1. No idea.

Thanks! I am open to all advice but just don't want to end even more confused! Your advice is helpful - I never thought about the breast never being empty before.

What is BFN?

There is a LLL lady in Bath I met once - will call her and see.

BFN is breastfeeding network.

Helpfully, there are four significant BFC groups in the UK: NCT/BFN/ABM/LLL. And which one is most useful really depends on what geographic area you're in.

Essentially the less-full the breast is, a) the more milk you will make and b) the fattier any milk coming out will be.

I'd get in touch with the LLL or NCT (probably a new counsellor by now?) and get some support arranged ahead of time.

you ought to go along to a support group before you have your baby. do some research for yourself. your local surestart may have one. also, visit the 'Babycafe' website. there may be one in your local area. this way you get to meet local supporters before you are under the pressure to perform, so to speak. i cannot explain how vulnerable you will feel once your baby gets here and if you need the help and support, how hard it can be to organise finding it just then.

this way, you know where to turn and who to turn to already.

Also, it 's probably obvious advice, but do you have other support sorted for the first few weeks, which are pretty difficult even without bf problems? If you can, stay in bed/on the sofa with your LO and concentrate on feeding and nothing else.

if you want to look into getting a doula and what they are all about try www.doula.org.uk

Hey.....it's good to be prepared and informed, but sweating it like this is a real shame You are dead right that the confusing and conflicting info women face does not help, and I am really sorry the help you accessed last time was so useless.
I agree with what NQC says.

A good book is either BabyCalming or Breastfeeding for Beginners - both by Caroline Deacon who is an NCT bfc. They're both quite short and clearlt written.

You can express whenever you want to, but many mothers find it's not helpful to make it a priority in the first weeks - just get bf going happily and easily first

Good luck!

Thanks again - will go search the book.

BigBelly - I used to be a memebr of my local LLL. If you need help to find your local group, let me know. I posted the link for someone else yesterday.

The groups have a variety of people, anything from pregnant mums to mums feeding toddlers. There is always an informal discussion session at the beginning led by a qualified LLL Leader.

The topics are very varied and not always about bf, it could be about introducing solids, or sleep, or discipline, or anything else.

There will always be several mums with newborns there, and I have met pregnant mums at the one I used to go to.

May I also recommend going to a Baby Cafe if you have one in your town ? Again I posted the link for someone yesterday, if you tell me you are interested I can post the link again.

As for websites, I highly recommend the www.laleche.org.uk (LLL) and www.kellymom.com websites, for scientific info. as well as moral support.

If you have a friend who has bf and is VERY experienced and confident with bf, she may be better help to you than a stranger you employ to come in for the day.

Of course it depends on what sort of support you need, if your friend isn't sure, you can always call one of the many helplines others have mentioned already.

Good luck with baby no. 3 !

You need local, RL help. Can you try to find someone before baby arrives so that you are prepared?

As others have said, you can contact La Leche League. The NCT (National Childbirth trust) have a breastfeeding helpline and Kellymom.com & askdrsears.com have some helpful information.

1. latching on - nose to nipple and as much in mouth as possible? Yes Supposed not to hurt if latched on properly - but some say it hurts anyway??? It might be uncomfortable while you both work out what you are doing but if latch is correct, shouldn't hurt.

2. fore milk/hind milk - should the breast be emptied to ensure get full feed??? Let the baby have as much as they want. Then offer other side.

3. do you or don't you offer both sides at one feed? or does it depend on whether they are still hungry or should you do it anyway? see # 2

4. I would like to express milk so dh can help out at night - when do I express? In between feeds/on which breast???? I plan to start early on with this rather than using formula - surely its better to do it this way than get overtired and give up??? Women usually have most milk first thing in the morning so expressing is easier and more efficient then

5. which book if any to read before april? dunno

HTH

Got one of the books off ebay for £1! Will read through it and will call LLL on monday too.

BigBelly - you bargain hunter ! Oh good, hope it goes well for you

i would reccomend " the womanly art of breastfeeding" by LLLI. i use it as my bible. it was reccomended to me by a peer supporter and i often refer to it for any problemns i might have and its also good to read before birth as it covers all aspects of feeding

vn - I agree that is a fab book. BigBelly, if you haven't got it yet, I have seen 2nd hand copies of that on ebay.

righty-ho

Am going to LLL meeting tomorrow morning - and they have a library if want to borrow books. Meetings are once a month - so if go a couple of times before baby will hopefully get more confident and educated!

Oh good for you girl ! I will be cheering you one !

But seriously BigBelly, don't see LLL or other bf meetings just like a university lecture. They are very informal and just as much to boost your confidence/allow you to make friends as they are about education. Of course books and libraries are good, but try and relax, you will have more fun