Weaning advice

[Rinceoir]

DD is 22months, not a big eater of solids, small (still under 10kg) and refuses all milk not directly from the breast. I'm hoping to wean her around her second birthday- at the moment when I'm about she constantly looks for milk, pulls at my top and throws huge tantrums when I say no. She will frequently refuse her meal and then ask for milk straight after. If we were happily down to one feed in the evening I would keep going but the constant demands are wearing. I'm also worried its impacting negatively on her appetite. I usually only feed her 2-3 times a day, she sleeps through but I can't just sit down and give her a cuddle without it turning into a tantrum for milk.

Any advice on weaning in a way that's not too traumatic for either of us?

Really sorry that I haven't time to give you a full reply but hopefully this will bump for you.

Just got back. Have a look at these Kellymom links and see what you think

Thanks Julie. Ive been trying distraction and feed shortening. I'm torn between just trying to get to one feed a day and letting her self wean or stopping altogether. She eats so poorly and she is very small, I really just want to encourage her appetite.

I might be unpopular here, but at 22 months I'd probably just stop all together. It sounds like whilst she knows she has access to milk anytime she likes, she won't eat, and at almost 2 she will need a more varied diet now.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Is she really 22lbs! 00

I'll try again! Is she really 22lbs? That is incredibly tiny for 2,sp just wondering if you'd written it wrong?

No, that's her weight. She's not incredibly tiny, it puts her on the 9th-25th centile, but I do worry that she has no reserves when ill. She doesn't have free access to milk- I work full time and when I'm around I do limit her to 2-3 feeds a day but it's upsetting both of us for me to say no so often. She eats a varied diet, just tiny portions.

Not really. 10kg at 22 months would put her at around the 25th centile. My daughter is similar. She's slightly built, like her dad.

My DD was like this. I started by night weaning (Gordon method is good) then once that was done, I dropped the bedtime feed for a bottle of cows milk. After a little while I dropped the morning feed - initially offering cows milk but she soon lost interest in that all together. We are left with one feed before nap

Thanks Merkin, she dropped her night feeds all by herself a few months ago so we are lucky in that respect. She won't have any other milk at all, believe me I offer all the time! I've tried offering snacks but she has minimal interest in food so that doesn't help either.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow- your second comment in particular was most unhelpful. A 25th or even 2nd centile baby isn't incredibly Tiny but quite on the normal spectrum because every point on that chart is the normal spectrum.

And even so to actually say those words to a mother who is worried based on your own perceptions is inconsiderate and upsetting.

It was the same here, zero interest in cows milk at all. However when we dropped the first feed and offered cows milk as an alternative she realised it was cows milk or nothing and gradually started accepting the cows milk

It wasn't intended to be upsetting, I just wanted to clarify as that seems very small to me. I now know that it's 25th centile so fine. My own experience is 2 children who were born on 98th,so DD2 is 22lbs now at 8 months, DD1 settled on 50th centile by age 5 or so.

I'm really sorry OP, I really didn't mean to sound critical!

DD1 weaned herself off bm at 14 months, and wasn't interested in cows milk at all for a few weeks. I just kept offering the cup and eventually she took to it, hopefully your DD will too

Sorry, forgot to mention. Some children I'm looking at my two will not touch cow's milk as a drink until Bfing has stopped completely and a few weeks have passed. Those few weeks shouldn't be a problem as there is no minimum recommended amount of cow's milk for over twos. Plus there are lots of calcium rich foods you can give them

Just seen your comment. I think it differs with each child. With my first I was able to set limits. So he knew he could have it when he got up, after lunch and before bed. If he asked for it inbetween I was able to say, "no we don't do that now, you can have it at X" and offer an alternative. With my second, I just had to stop completely. It might be worth speaking to a BFC to see if she has any suggestions and to talk to her if you have feelings of being overwhelmed and your feelings about weaning in general.

Thanks Julie, I know there are plenty of calcium rich foods, she just won't eat them! Today was a really good day food wise for example- she had a quarter slice of toast with cream cheese, 4 grapes, 1 slice of a little pizza we made together with tomato, chicken, mozzarella and some peppers chopped tiny (the slice was the size of my thumb roughly) , and 6 pieces of penne with double cream, Parmesan, courgette and ham (so about 1 tablespoon). She's just had one breastfeed. I'll try her with malt loaf or avocado before bed, I try to get as many calories as possible into the tiny portions she has- I don't know how she stays so active given that she barely eats!

It's more an eating problem than a breastfeeding problem I suppose, but I feel that she holds out for breast milk most of the time. She was an absolute nightmare to get started on solids- didn't swallow anything until she was nearly one. Even at nursery she eats tiny amounts, though probably more than she does at home.

She has dropped from the 75th centile to just below the 25th, been to paediatrics who aren't worried but I can't help but worry! Every time I mention an eating issue here I get the same advice that I followed for months (my child won't eat, put the food in front of her at the table and take it away if she's not eating etc) and ended up with with a child who didn't gain weight for 6 months so I thought it best to visit the breastfeeding side of things!

If she was so reluctant with solids, has she been checked for tongue tie?

She has a posterior tongue tie which never affected breastfeeding. I never had any pain/supply issues, and she gained weight brilliantly until weaning started. She had a significant lip tie until about 10months when she fell on a wooden block and split it herself. She can eat- once in a blue moon she will eat a massive meal, she just has very little interest generally. Even rubbish foods like chocolate buttons which her grandparents insist on giving her- she will have 2-3 chocolates and then say no more thank you. I have always had a big milk supply, so I suspect she manages to get a lot of milk in her 2 feeds, which curbs her appetite.

It could be the tongue tie. My DS was exactly how you describe and I never had any pain either. Might be worth talking to a tongue tie practioner.

Thanks Julie, it never occurred to me as a possibility. I'll definitely look into it.

It's only because DS was exactly the same that made me think of it

I'm sorry to resurrect this but I'm really having difficulties. DD was sick last weekend so unsurprisingly ate nothing and had a lot of milk. She's been basically better since Tuesday, back at nursery etc. I've been working late shifts so keeping her home

Sorry! Keeping her home in the morning and dropping her to nursery after lunch. She's been refusing to eat a thing at home, constantly looking for milk despite me constantly trying to distract her. She then goes to nursery and asks for food. It's embarrassing.

Today so far she has had a little box of raisins and refused all meals. She won't sit at the table. She just wants to run around and play. She has lost weight (around 400g) that she really can't afford to. It's got so bad that this morning I contemplated sending her to nursery at breakfast time in the hope that she would eat. Has anyone got any advice? I'm really at the end of my tether and feeling like a terrible mother.

I have read "my child won't eat" by the way but as she's losing weight I don't feel it applies!