Gosh, this is so hard

[stargirl1701]

DD2 is 18 months. It's now more than 2 years since I slept more than 3 hours as the pg was tough too.

I am really hoping to get to 2 years, bf on demand, day and night, as recommended. Feeling quite low today though. Just so tired. There are so many things I want to do but I cannot summon the energy.

Not really looking for suggestions ( I know there are none!). This is so hard. The endurance needed is extraordinary. I was coping quite well until I went back to work when she was 13 months old.

She is allergic to dairy, eggs, soya, legumes, nuts and bananas. Meal planning is exhausting.

Yeah, feeling really down today.

Oh wow. You have done so fantastic (waves pompoms). I'm at 7 weeks and though physically bfing has been relatively easy but mentally it is exhausting!

Much sympathy, DS is the same age and also wakes a lot (though he's finally starting to do a >5 hour stretch occasionally). Not sure if it's an option for you but splitting the night into shifts has made things manageable when his sleep was really bad, and I think has contributed to gradual night weaning as he's much more likely to settle without milk for his Daddy.

Thanks for the pom poms!

It's trying to mentally adjust to the idea that feeding is one of the top priorities and everything else has to wait. Patience... Not good at that.

House is reasonable, folk are fed, I survive work every week, etc.

She did actually sleep through last Tues night but I was getting a train on Wed morning (unusual) and woke every hour convinced I slept in and missed the train! Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

Congrats on your LO.

I worry if I night wean, she won't be getting enough milk and with her multiple allergies, I can't risk that.

You're doing great I'm getting to the point of considering weaning at 18mo as its just draining me completely and my DD seems to view me my boobs as the source of ultimate comfort for every time she's upset or hurt rather than wanting to play or cuddle etc. BUT I'm determined to get to 2 years or for her to self wean, whichever comes first. My stubbornness will keep me going a few months longer I hope but we are trying to night wean at the moment so I don't know what will happen with daytime feeds as I'm also back at work full time. In any case, I know I've given it a damn good effort for a year and a half already and so have you. Whatever you decide, every day you carry on is a bonus

Ps meant to say my DD favourite foods seem to be plain porridge, cooked spinach, salmon, slices of ham, tangerines and any type of pasta/couscous/quinoa etc. I know some pastas have egg in but I was surprised how little normal dairy such as cheese and yoghurt she actually wants to eat.

My dd has cmpa. You should ask to see a dietician who will advise you on how whether your dc is getting enough calcium or would get enough if you wean. NICE advise this for cmpa children. Dietician thought my dd would be fine if I weaned but she can eat soya so can have yogurts Etc which are calcium enriched. You may be able to get supplements if soya allergic as well. I have just night weaned mine at 14 months and I have to say it is wonderful to be able to sleep. I personally think you are probably making things harder for yourself than they need to be by bf-ing on demand, day and night. I'm not sure where that is recommended and WHO recommendations to bf for 2 years are geared towards countries without reliable clean water sources. And I say that as someone still bf-ing at 14 months. So maybe give yourself a break and try night weaning?! I would thoroughly recommend the sleep. But you have done so well to get to this point.

Have you considered trying Dr Jay Gordon's Gentle Night Weaning method? We did and my non-sleeper is now a superstar who hasn't woken at night in months. It took around 3 nights of keeping calm & being consistent & not caving in to night feed demands. Worth a Google.

At 18 months I'd argue there isn't really a need to breastfeed on demand day and night unless that's what suits you both. At 18m breastfeeding has to suit the mother and the baby.

Are you wary of night weaning because of her restricted diet?

Yes. I am.

We last saw the dietician in Dec who wanted us to try soya yoghurt for more calcium. Disaster. Big reaction with ongoing eczema flare up from that still going now. Trialling Piriton doses daily with steroid ointment plus emollient.

She will be getting approx 35% of RDA calcium from bf on demand. We use a supplement for Vit D.

Just feeling touched out and exhausted today. DD1 who is 3 and half has been a nightmare all day. She ended her day having a tantrum about dinner and chucked it on the floor.

Parenting. Gah!

I have read Jay Gordon. I had planned to follow it around 18 months but with all these allergies, I just don't feel I can.

I probably need to get to a LLL meeting for moral support. Lots of mums in the same boat seems to help.

Thanks for the responses. A feel less alone.

Very stressful. I see my comment about breastfeeding having to work for you too is less appropriate here, sorry.

One other thing to try is Koko yoghurts which I've bought from morrisons. Made from coconut milk which may be ok? Definitely sounds tough going.

In the same boat... Trying to go as long as possible as some people I know with intollerances have introduced milk ladder via breastmilk. My toddler can take soya via breastmilk now and soon will trial it direct. Is a hard slog..

Maybe try expressing and cooking or using in cereals just so you know intake in the day is maximum? Mine will take ice cubes of it too when teethy and irritable.

More to the point... Roll on the day when I eat a whole bar of galaxy and Ben and Jerry's and cheddar...

It's so tough when you're dealing with allergies on top of feeling touched out. I really sympathise. Night weaning at 18 months saved our bf relationship with DD1, and we carried on for another 9 months after that, but I didn't have dietary needs to contend with. Hope you get some respite!