With respect to everyone who has posted here, all of whom know more than me about this, the advice is always going to be conflicting. As someone whose breastfeeding doctor has told her my nipple is actually too big for the baby's tiny mouth, I know that if I hadn't given her the bottle at all, and was still syringe feeding, as I'd been told by the angry nurses in the hospital when I begged them for a bottle, my baby would have screamed and cried - we never got on as well with cup feeding. But then at the same time everyone I trust and feel most comforted by says that breastfeeding should be stress free, and the baby shouldn't be forced onto the breast, and should find it. Sometimes, even if babies find the breast, they don't manage to latch. Here in Canada, absolutely everyone has grabbed her neck and shoulders and forced her onto my breast, and everyone tells me this is essential for the deep latch she needs as my nipples are also short and flat. But that's a world away from the gentle 'finding' the breast idea, and always results in her screaming. My doctor does this, but in a way I think does help her latch onto a nipple shield - that's another thing, a lot of people think shields also cause nipple confusion. She still just doesn't seem to fit.
As I said in my first post, the guilt this brings - accounting to the breast feeding teachers and explaining why you can't do it, admitting you're can't have tried hard enough, can't have pushed the right way, can't have held the right way - and also the guilt you have towards your baby, because you're giving her crack cocaine rather than breast milk, because you're starving her, because you're making her cry, is so so hard to deal with, and I have never been as depressed about anything in my life. I think the posts here have been marvellous, but I also think one should always be aware that there are so many opinions even when people are trying to help, and that explaining yourself to people with very different opinions is part of the stress.
(Incidentally, I'm still doing it all wrong. ) Good luck, Dawny: you don't have nipple problems, you've latched for ages, it is still SO early (or else I might as well give up) and caesareans are associated with sleepy babies and breastfeeding problems. I honestly think you'll get it in no time. And do just try a little longer because I hear it makes your thighs thin.