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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Probably a bit early to say but I really hate breast feeding and I feel really guilty

40 replies

Dawnybabe · 29/12/2006 01:23

I have an eight day old dd. I had to have an emergency caesarean and spent four days in hospital. I had real trouble trying to learn to breastfeed and every time I asked for help I had a different midwife on shift with a different opinion. I came home none the wiser and had to ff to stop her going hungry. I have managed to get her to latch on a few times, and sometimes we manage to get it right and she'll suckle for anything up to twenty minutes. Other times she refuses point blank, even though I think she's hungry cos she's mouthing at things and sucking on her hands. So I try to be firm with her as my midwife suggested and keep offering the breast and denying the bottle, which she obviously prefers cos she'll knock it back like there's no tomorrow. She refuses the breast, screams her little head off to the point where she's almost crying, and it makes me cry and I have to give in and give her a bottle, which she promptly empties. I have tried expressing with a pump, which is crap quite frankly and takes ages, although she will take ebm from a bottle. It hurts, she seems to hate it, and the only reason I'm putting the both of us through it is because I feel guilty at denying her the goodness of the natural milk. I want to persevere but I really hate it. Please someone give me some advice.

OP posts:
kiskidee · 31/12/2006 00:03

i don't want to upset anyone but please try to remember that this is Dawny's thread and she is here to get support. with all our best intentions, we can run the risk of confusing her even more by getting into hypothetical situations.

it will be best i think if we address the issues she raises. at the moment, think we all agree that contacting a bf counsellor for one on one support is the best way to go. they don't mind doing this no matter the season.

julienetmum · 31/12/2006 00:10

ome excellent advice as always, from Tiktok.

I wanted to reply becasue I have been there and come out the other side. Ds totally refused to latch and had absolute hysterics. Fortunately for me I had excellent support from my HV and a local breastfeeding counsellor.

My midwife and HV told me that my baby needed to be fed, how I fed him was up to me, but he needed milk. I personally chose to express as much as possible (every 3 hours initially to build up my supply, then I started to give one formula feed in the night as I couldn;t hack it)

I fed him from a special feeding cup (you can use the top from a baby bottle) to try and reduce the chance of nipple confusion. I always used to try him at the breast but the key was to make it a calm pleasant experience. For the first few days the aim was to just get him near the breast without screaming. I did skin to skin, took him in the bath etc etc. I didn;t try to latch him on, just tried to mae being there a positive experience.

I then went on to trying to latvh him, if he got hysterical I left it and fed him from the cup. It took a month to finally get him feeding. I nearly gave up countless times but I just took one day at a time and we got there.

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2006 00:23

I completely agree Kiskidee. But I can't stand by and see guilt trips being laid on a mother who is already having to use bottles and not liking it. That is just counterproductive.

kiskidee · 31/12/2006 00:49

which is another reason why dawny needs to speak to someone professionally trained to counsel in bf and better that we put some of our own experiences aside.

NENEandLEXI · 31/12/2006 00:55

i hope for your sake you can keep up with it. my experience with bf was quite different, we were like pros from the get go...sorry all those struggling...it jsut came very naurally to us. BUT, at the 8-10 day mark it was tough for us. i cant imagine what you have gone thru, but you got this far! i felt like giving up and we had had such an easy time before hand, so your feelings are very understandable. jsut know that every woman here, no mater what there circumstances are, has hit a ruff patch and made it thru. and if you have to quit, well dont be so hard on yourself. you gave it a shot, right?

macneil · 31/12/2006 02:52

With respect to everyone who has posted here, all of whom know more than me about this, the advice is always going to be conflicting. As someone whose breastfeeding doctor has told her my nipple is actually too big for the baby's tiny mouth, I know that if I hadn't given her the bottle at all, and was still syringe feeding, as I'd been told by the angry nurses in the hospital when I begged them for a bottle, my baby would have screamed and cried - we never got on as well with cup feeding. But then at the same time everyone I trust and feel most comforted by says that breastfeeding should be stress free, and the baby shouldn't be forced onto the breast, and should find it. Sometimes, even if babies find the breast, they don't manage to latch. Here in Canada, absolutely everyone has grabbed her neck and shoulders and forced her onto my breast, and everyone tells me this is essential for the deep latch she needs as my nipples are also short and flat. But that's a world away from the gentle 'finding' the breast idea, and always results in her screaming. My doctor does this, but in a way I think does help her latch onto a nipple shield - that's another thing, a lot of people think shields also cause nipple confusion. She still just doesn't seem to fit.

As I said in my first post, the guilt this brings - accounting to the breast feeding teachers and explaining why you can't do it, admitting you're can't have tried hard enough, can't have pushed the right way, can't have held the right way - and also the guilt you have towards your baby, because you're giving her crack cocaine rather than breast milk, because you're starving her, because you're making her cry, is so so hard to deal with, and I have never been as depressed about anything in my life. I think the posts here have been marvellous, but I also think one should always be aware that there are so many opinions even when people are trying to help, and that explaining yourself to people with very different opinions is part of the stress.

(Incidentally, I'm still doing it all wrong. ) Good luck, Dawny: you don't have nipple problems, you've latched for ages, it is still SO early (or else I might as well give up) and caesareans are associated with sleepy babies and breastfeeding problems. I honestly think you'll get it in no time. And do just try a little longer because I hear it makes your thighs thin.

magaddict · 31/12/2006 11:52

Thank you for your very informative argument Elasticwoman - I was merely trying to help Dawnybabe see that she is not the only one in that situation, and that she needn't feel guilty about her choices.

Elasticwoman · 31/12/2006 20:13

I am trying to present facts to counter the misleading impression that you gave, Magaddict when you said that "millions of healthy babies the world over have been formula fed". Yes, and millions of babies have died, the world over, from formula milk and that's why I boycott Nestle.

I also said on a previous post that it's a pretty bad idea to starve a baby to death and you have to make your choices from what's available to you. By and large babies don't die from formula feeding in UK but they are at greater risk of disease and allergies.

I am not trying to make any one feel guilty and respect any mother's decision on how to feed her baby, but I am concerned that her choice be based on some facts. A mother's place is in the wrong - doesn't matter whether you formula feed or struggle with bf, some one will criticise you for it

NENEandLEXI · 31/12/2006 20:18

macneil...i know what you mean about everyone and there mother coming into your hospotal room and taking your dd by the neck and shoulders and pushing it into your boob...almost to the point where i could hardley see her face...it was insane. i actually started to hide in the bathroom when they came in and when they left tried my own way of getting her latched on, a slower paceand not at all forced. and it worked beautifully. when they would come back in to "help" she would be sleeping contently all fed. we were lucky, but really why do the healthcare people got to be so forceful when it comes to latching on?

and btw, i havereadthat the first couple of days are the most important and any breast milk that the baby is able to get is beneficiary to the infant, and if you cannot continue they still have benefitted from what they were able to get.

smittenkitten · 31/12/2006 20:27

Elasticwoman and Magaddict - i don't think this is the place for an ideological debate about bf vs bottle - go and start a new thread if you want to resurrect this old chestnut.

We have an exhausted and worried new mum here who needs support.

Dawny - whatever you decide to do your DD will be fine. having a rested and relaxed mother is as important as where she gets her food from, so please go with what feels right for both of you. Good to see from your last post that you've got some good support. Hope it goes well and enjoy your beautiful new daughter!

Elasticwoman · 31/12/2006 21:08

I am not having an ideological debate about b v bottle. I have given Dawnybabe reasons to persevere, but I am also more than happy for other people to say they were/are happy to bottlefeed. I just don't like them to present it as a fact that the two milks are equivalent. And no one can predict how well DB's or any one else's baby will do on either b/milk or formula so stop saying Oh your baby will be fine. It's patronising and misleading. I don't think DB came on here to be fobbed off.

Elasticwoman · 31/12/2006 21:08

I am not having an ideological debate about b v bottle. I have given Dawnybabe reasons to persevere, but I am also more than happy for other people to say they were/are happy to bottlefeed. I just don't like them to present it as a fact that the two milks are equivalent. And no one can predict how well DB's or any one else's baby will do on either b/milk or formula so stop saying Oh your baby will be fine. It's patronising and misleading. I don't think DB came on here to be fobbed off.

bewilderbeast · 31/12/2006 21:25

Ask the hospital or midwife if they have the babyfriendly breastfeeding video that you could borrow it really helped me when I had an emergency section and ds was on the neonatal unit no-one would help me to breast feed and they pushed me hard to bottle feed and continued to do so after we got home. I still don't like it as DS fights lots and bites and scratches which makes me feel useless so he has mostly ebm feeds but thanks to that video he will breastfeed and when he does he does it right and it can be quite a nice experience when he's not being awkward and so far we've managed to avoid formula (10 weeks today). Literally i went straight donw to the neo unit after watching the video and it was like all my problems with latching and getting him to stay on were solved. Do what you want to do, nurses, midwives etc do not always know best and as I've discovered they often have their own agenda when it comes to breast vs bottle. good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2006 22:28

Elasticwoman - you are preaching to the converted. Dawnybabe desperately wants to perservere or else she wouldn't have started the thread. She already feels guilty about having to supplement with bottles. Why do you feel it necessary to labour the point? It is unhelpful in this context.

Elasticwoman · 01/01/2007 19:43

I only feel it necessary to labour the point when it is refuted by other posts.

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