How do you deal with the negative comments

[PebbleTTC]

How do you deal with the negative comments about breastfeeding? Just left my mother who when I mentioned I will be breastfeeding my little fella until he reaches 12 months (currently 6 months old) and she went on about that I can't be feeding him in public when he is that old, that I have to think of others not myself etc

I left feeling miserable and so sad. I love breastfeeding and I don't handle criticism well (usually end up crying like I am now!)

I'm due back in work soon and I know people will make comments then too as I already had it before I started mat leave - that it's disgusting and gross etc

I just need to remember I'm doing the best thing for my son nothing to do with anyone else

Exactly that op. This might sound ridiculous but if your mum makes comments about breastfeeding when you are on the phone then have a post it not with that sentence on it by the phone to remind yourself. If she does it when she visits you have a post it note in your bathroom or somewhere. Somewhere to remind you that you are doing a brilliant job and you are doing the best for your son.

If that doesn't work then rehearse in front of a mirror a patronising laugh and say "oh mum, times have moved on now"

I am with the "tell them to fuck off" camp.

I am still feeding DD (1) and I plan to for as long as she so desires. If anyone dare tell me anything negative about this decision I really wont be accountable for my response!!

I'm lucky - mil is Swedish and so bf is a given. Mum bottle fed me and is thrilled I'm managing to bf.
I found bf Ing really tough the first ten weeks or so. I had No external discouragement but I was v anxious he wasn't getting enough. Having the weigh ins at the clinic and the positive feedback from the nurse was very helpful for me.
I'm a first time mum and I'm stunned at the vitriol and nosey-parkering people get. Really there is nothing like the judgement heaped on mums...

I think a lot of these comments stem from people's own insecurities so would it help to think that when you hear them? My mum was telling me how little support she had when feeding me - because she's lovely and supportive that translates into her being a bf ing cheerleader for me, but I can imagine in someone less supportive it could manifest as negative comments. People go like to drag others down to their level,

Think up some pleasant comebacks:

" baby clinic say he's really thriving, obviously I make full cream milk!"
"It's amazing isn't it? Breast milk looks so watery but it's magic stuff!"
"Things have changed so much, I know a lot of people in the seventies were given advice to feed every four hours. Must have been almost impossible for them to keep up bf-ing with such bad advice."

Don't be hard on the c section brigade (unless they're being arseholes.) I had to have a section and there were a lot of complex feelings involved. Again, people are projecting their feelings onto you.

I don't think you can win. I'm currently formula feeding my 6 month old. I have definitely felt a bit judged - even if the people didn't mean anything by it - it's a sensitive topic and one everyone seems to have an opinion on!

It's no ones business. Just ignore them and know you're doing the best you can for your child.

I got some negative comments in the early days from my dp's family. A few other people made some comments where I could tell they thought it was disgusting but didn't come out and say it. It really upset me when she was younger, especially some of the comments from dp's family. But I'm still feeding her at 18 months. My coping method was basically I stopped feeding her in front of them. If they ask am I still breastfeeding I just say yes. I don't elaborate. I'm lucky my mum is completely supportive, I can imagine it would be hard if she wasn't. --Although I'd be more upfront in putting her straight then I am to non-fsmily members. If your mum continues makign remarks csn you get her to do some reading so she knows the benefits? If not, just find a stock phrase and repeat every time she mentions it until she gives up.

I should add i was able to avoid feeding in front of them because they rarely bother to visit. If they were more involved grandparents, aunties and uncles it would have been a lot harder. I renumber before she started solids I would stress massively about feeding her before they arrived or before we arrived at theirs. I hated it.

Just be happy with the knowledge that you're right and they're wrong.

People can say it's disgusting till they're blue in the face but they're wrong and you are doing something wonderful, natural and healthy.

People will judge you're parenting no matter what you do.

Let me tell you as someone who didn't succeed at bf I rather envy you you've achieved something brilliant so don't let the ignorants put you off.

It's funny really, how horrible parents are to each other.

I feel really judged for not bf and yet you've achieved what so many would have liked to have done, yet you'll be judged.

Crazy.

Thanks for all the replies. I met with work about pumping at work and i was asked do that need to provide anything to cover the noise for my embarrassment! Then I had my mother ask why do employers hire women when all they do is cost the employer money by getting pregnant and me asking them to buy a blind for the meeting room (where I will be going to pump) ! I think I need a new job AND new family