Please give me a reason to go on BF

[KristinaM]

My baby is only 2 weeks old and I really want to go on BF but am struggling so much ? please can anyone help me?

I have such pain while I?m BF & I don?t think I can cope anymore. More than six midwives have checked the baby?s latch and said its Ok but I still find BF very painful ? much more painful than the stitches and the episiotomy. I?m on prescription painkillers from the doctor but I still cry all the way through feeding. I have to stuff a cloth in my mouth and bite it during feeding to stop myself screaming and so I?ve pain in my teeth and head and other joints all around the clock.

Now I have mastitis in both breasts and can?t walk without holding my breasts, they are so painful. Its also hard to sleep or be comfortable sitting.

The MW has told me to express to relieve the congestion. I?ve spent 11 of the last 24 hours either expressing or feeding and most of this has been so painful I?ve just cried all the way through. I?m absolutely exhausted. It?s made no difference to the mastitis. I?ve tried everything else that has been suggested, like massaging, combing, hot cloths, hot showers etc

I cant leave the house for more than about an hour as its so painful to feed, I couldn?t do it in a public place, like a mother and baby room ? I just moan and cry all the way through. I feel like a prisoner trapped in my own home.

When I hold my baby he just cries to be fed. I just dread feeding so much I?m beginning to resent him for causing me so much pain, even though I know he can?t help it. I feel like it?s my fault, that I must have a very low pain threshold, although I did manage through the first 15 hours of labour with no pain relief at all.

I just don?t know what to do. I know it?s meant to get better at after 6-8 weeks, but I don?t know if I can get through the next 6-8 hours. FYI my baby was born at term and was eight and a half pounds. It was an instrumental delivery and he was very traumatised ? he had no sucking reflex (we had to teach him) and still has virtually no rooting reflex. The only way we could get him to feed was with nipple shields (suggested by the MW), as he wouldn?t suck. When I express milk (to relieve the engorgement) my DP feeds the baby with a spoon. The baby has never had a bottle. despite great pressure from the MW.He has not yet regained his birth weight but has never dropped below 7% of his birth weight and it?s on the way up.

I know all the advantages of BF over formula but I?m just worn out coping with this level of pain for so many hours each day. My DP has to do everything in the house and mostly everything for the baby, except feed him. We can?t go on like this, as he has to go to back to work soon. Please please please can anyone help me?????

So sorry to hear this, and really sympathise. I got welcome relief from antibiotics and timodine cream and carried on breastfeeding for 12 months. The occasional night top-up bottle also gave me a rest in weeks 3-6 (every other night). Really hope you begin to feel better.

Definitely phone one of the breastfeeding help lines. the people staffing them are trained in breastfeeding - not like the midwives who are generally multi-tasking (no offense to midwives )

all my love and sympathy, you poor poor thing. lots of good advice here. whatever you decide to do, you are obviously a loving mother and that is what is important...remember that, and don't feel guilty either way.

it might be worth getting antibiotics to totally clear the mastitis, try cabbage leaves inside your bra they really help with the heat, also expressing in the warmth of a shower just enough to make you comfy
I had mastitis a lot with ds (child1) and I really thought b/f was meant to be agony, once I got anti biotics just once, then it went away I felt perfect and feeding continued til 16 mths. Tips for avoiding mastitis like wearing very good supportive bras, making sure baby drains one breast before starting another.

Can you call your local NCT and ask for a counsellor to come and assist you? They are very very good, where are you based? try this number too. NCT breastfeeding line on 0870 444 8708.
I am so sad to read your tale of woe...
Good luck
xx

Just to add to everyone's urgings to get some antibiotics. I had mastitis last year with my ds2. I ended up with a breast abcess and had to be admitted to hospital to have it drained, which was so horrible I told dh I would have preferred to give birth again. The mastitis recurred, but a second lot of really strong antibiotics managed to sort it out.
However, I would also like to second the brave people who have posted that it's OK to give up. I was in a mad place for a while when all this was happening - ds2 just fed 24 hours a day, I sat with tears streaming down my face and was in such pain. Yet I still insisted that I would be a bad mother to give up. I had to give up after the abcess - it has affected my milk supply and I still have an ache in that breast a year later. I think I was a better mother when I changed to the bottle because I became a sane human being again. I know that breast is best, but sometimes you have to balance that against the misery everyone, including you, is enduring. Please don't attack me for this!

Reading your story just made me feel so sad for you and much better about myself as have also just recovered from mastitis myself only to discover my duct blocking again two nights ago and the thought of going through it all over again was all too much. Also having read some of these threads I think I probably also have thrush as the pain after feeding on the affected side is so sharp it takes my breath away. GP said it was healing from mastitis but I think I'll be visiting her again soon esp if it's treatable. The double strength flucloxacillan worked for the infection though they made me feel sick. Thankfully my little one managed to finally unblock the duct for me the other night without the need for more drugs, but I know just dreading the feeds makes you feel so low.
I have perservered with the bf as emotionally I'm not in a place where I'm ready to stop. He's four months old now and I've had a blockage six times and it seems never ending but I know I'd be upset to feel forced to stop. He's my third child and I've never had problems before so it's come as a total shock to me and finding this website in itself is a huge help to make me realise I'm not alone with my problems and a lot better off than some. I hope things improve for you Kristina. It's a lovely thing if you can bf, but if you can't, being a happy mummy is more important for your baby than the type of milk he's having.

Big squeezy hugs.

I can vouch for the Savoy Cabbage leaves. Don't know why or how but chilled out the fridge, they seem to be very soothing.

I hope it gets better for you. I managed fine for 4 weeks then had the sore nipple and initial latching on paid for about 15 seconds but it eventually passed after a couple of weeks and I bf exclusively for 4 months and continued until DD was 8 months. I cried when I stopped as I found it very rewarding but keen to have another baby before old age catches up on me else I'd still be bf now.

But remember you don't have to be a martyr and do what you feel is best for you.

More big hugs

Soozi

How are you now KristinaM?

Hi, this is my first post on MN but this thread rings so many bells I couldn't not. I also experienced difficulty in establishing breasfeeding and then lots of pain.

KristinaM - most important is whatever makes you and yours happy is the best way to go.

Dd (18mths)was forceps delivery, causing temp nerve damage,cut head and a dose of calpol at a couple of hours old. She took 36 hours to start feeding and stopping feeding from me another 36 hours later. Bottle fed her with ebm (found easy with industrial machine hired thru nct)and formula til 10 days old when became interested in the boob again. Bf counsellor (fab) thought was a likely connection with traumatic delivery.

Between 5-8wks I had indescribable pain when she latched on and for first minutes - my legs shooting up, flinching away, teeth gritted, tears, thinking couldn't carry on. Eventually diagnosed as thrush though no external signs - could this be you also on top of mastitis? BF counsellor also encouraged me to express for a while to give boobs a rest. HV finally suggested Diflucan. Magic. I then fed painfree for 9 months.

Looking back, I don't know quite why I carried on through it - must have seemed the right thing to do at the time. A friend suffered badly from mastitis, bravely gave up and this was equally the right/happiest outcome for her. It's an incredibly hard decision, I guess I'm saying, go with your instincts. What's most important is a happy mummy and babe will be too. Good luck and do speak to a bf counsellor, not all think formula is devil's poison.

Still thinking about you KristinaM. Hope you're ok.

Kristina - hope things are getting better for you. You have all my sympathy. When ds was about 5 weeks old I got thrush and the pain was just indescribable. It was genuinely worse than actually giving birth. I have a fairly high pain threshold but would cry at the thought of a feed, cry during the feed, cry with (short-lived) relief after the feed. I couldn't even wear a loose t-shirt let alone anything as 'close' as a bra - it was utter agony and I came soooo close to just giving up.

In the end I did give ds formula a couple of times a day when I just couldn't face a feed. It caused absolutely no problems and I am still bf'ing him 3 weeks short of his first birthday! Having said that, there is absolutely no shame at all in stopping (I won't say giving up) bf if you feel you just can't carry on. A happy mummy means a happy baby and he's had the most important bit from your milk in the first few days anyway.

Loads of luck and love - do let us know how you're getting on.

KristinaM, how are you, hope things are improving... is there anything us lot on here can do?

First of all, I want to apologise for not posting an update earlier, but our computer at home went on the blink and obviously I?m not back to work yet!!

I just wanted to thank you for all your advice and encouraging messages. I especially wanted to say a big thank you to these of you who said its Ok to bottle feed if the breast-feeding doesn?t work out. I know this sound stupid????. I know this in my head but having someone come out and say it made such a difference!!! I know that when / if that time comes, it wont be because I didn?t try with the BF.

To update you ? I took the advice of many of you and phoned the hospital and INSISTED on seeing someone. I saw the breast-feeding MW that afternoon ? she said I had very bad mastitis and gave me a big dose of antibiotics there and then. She went straight on the phone to my GP to get them to prescribe me more (and I suspect to complain about the fact that I?d seen them a few days before and they didn?t even examine me). The hospital MW said if I wasn?t substantially better in 24 hours I had to be admitted and put on IV antibiotics as I was at risk of an abscess. She took a sample of milk to be tested in the lab to check I was on the right antibiotic.

She also checked for thrush, as many of you suggested. She said the pattern of pain wasn?t typical of thrush and there were no sign on the baby or me, but got the GP to prescribe for this anyway, just in case. Both GP and HV phoned me at home the next day ? just to check I was OK? so I suspect they know they dropped the ball on this one????

The hospital MW said that the Community MW should not have told me to use nipple shields, as they prevent the baby draining the breast properly and had probably caused the mastitis! So I stopped using them right way and after a bit of protest, the baby now feeds OK. The mastitis cleared up pretty quickly. I still have sore nipple as the baby?s latch isn?t good but nothing like the pain I had before. So although its quite a struggle, I'm still hanging on in there............

KristinaM - wow you've done brilliantly to hang in there. It's great that someone finally has got you the treatment you needed. Keep asking for help if you've got continued discomfort.

good luck

Hi KristinaM, welcome back! Glad to hear things are improving, albeit it's still a struggle. I was using nipple shields too but have ditched them now (dd is nearly 7 weeks old). Also experiencing latch problems, but trying to 're-train'. You're not alone...

KristinaM

I was wondering what happened to you.

I was almost in tears when I read about the bad bout of mastitis and risking an abscess...you poor thing, have had to suffer unencessarily because of the incompetence of the poeple who were supposed to look after you!!!
But I'm glad to hear things are better now,your story brings me back to when dd was born that I couldn't help feeling very close to you.

All the best and now that things are on the right track, you'll see you'll soon start to enjoy it!!!

So glad you are feeling better

Excellent news KristinaM, I'm chuffed for you

KristinaM - wow! well done!! hang in there still - as a mum who has breastfed both DD and DS(still doing so at 13 months) I can tell you that it does get MUCH easier as time goes on. I remember similar thoughts and feelings to you in the early days confronted with a baby who really needed feeding and who had Jaundice but who I dreaded latching on for the pain. I did use nipple shields though for alternate feeds with DD and then after a few weeks flew solo!! For DS I didn't use them but instead used Kamillosan in between feeds which amazingly worked wonders for those cracked and scabbed nipples! (I'm not into these herbal remedies - give me the drugs!!) In a few weeks it will all be different. Good luck.

So glad things are better for you now. Well done for shouting loud enough and getting the help you needed. I'm still having regular blocked ducts, but am trying not to get too worked up about it as long as ds2 unblocks them b4 the mastitis sets in! Have had a lot of support from various sources (incl here) and we've also had a session of cranial osteopathy, which,to my amazement has made huge difference to feeding times. The colic and wind pains were to blame for a lot of wriggling and bad latch and whatever they did, he hasn't wriggled since. All we need is some sleep now!
Have been thinking about you lots though and kept checking this thread, so am delighted for you and the fact that you've been able to keep up bf (as I presume you wanted to), is marvellous for you. No-one wants to be forced to stop. It's much nicer when you stop because you want to!