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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Routines - still a loser at six weeks bf? (help help help)

23 replies

Kif · 19/12/2006 00:41

I'd appreciate a good ol' mn chat. Very close to going out for some formula supplements tomorrow... which is weird because yesterday I was so proud about getting bf started successfully.

ds1 = 5.5 weeks. I started to find the relentness of literally 'demand feeding' very tiring. He was doing the classic thing of only going to sleep with sucking on boob. Upshot that he was unputdownable - which was breaking my sleep and breaking my back and making it almost hopeless to even take him out round the block in the buggy without ending up givinga quick feed on the kerb. Also dd1 prancing about around me in her lovely toddler way meant he kept getting woken up, and was consequently snacking his way round the clock to get him back to sleep.

So I'm thinking: milk is in; he's a good weight and almost six weeks. Is it too much to expect for him to eat meals rather than snacks? To sleep on his own for defined streches long enough for me to get a cup of coffee or do something 1:1 with dd1? To spend a couple of hours with dh without one or other of us feeding or helping ds1 sleep? To be able to say to dd1 'now mummy is feeding but later ds will be sleeping and mummy will come and play', and for this to be reliable?

I picked up the routine with the shortest spaces between feeds I could find - to match nearest to where we are. This was a 2.5 hour cycle (e.g feed at 7. Play a bit before putting him down to make sure he's not sleeping on boob. Down in buggy roughly 8.30. Up for another feed by 9.30 and so on).

I've found this an improvement... but upset that end of day 2 ds is objecting more not less to all the aspects of the routine which aren't 'feed off mummy'. I let him feed as long as he wants to - ubtil he stops or gets really sleepy. Then I try to jiggle him up so he's not asleep off the breast - not impressed with this - red faced and frustrated. Then I take him off to a quiet room, in his buggy, for a sleep. Do every soothing thing in the book short of boob and arm rocking. not realyy very impressed - frankly cries himself to sleep with me sitting next to him. Only succesful soothing thing is sucking my finger - fo as long as I'll give him. Dummies spat out.

Dh says: "he's too small for a routine. Let him sleep on your belly all night if that's what he wants. This is more work than its worth. "

Dh has also said in the past - and i see it in his eyes: "almost six weeks exclusive bf is great. Cut yourself some slack and let me give him a last feed of SMA while you sleep. "

I'm distressed and disheartened now. Poss hit a growth spurt so chosen a bad time to start, but next few weeks will be christmas madness with relatives and such, so wanted to get a bit of confidence before that - and is there really any point feeding more than 60-90 minutes every 2.5 hours?

Do I give up the attempt at order and revert to a permanent babymoon? Very tempted to keep the routine and slip in some top ups of SMA to re-inforce it...

Pls help!

OP posts:
Joseph · 19/12/2006 00:48

Heading to bed, but didn't want this to go unanswered - will have to be brief though.

This is growth spurt time, so I would avoid adding formula because he's trying to up your supply with frequent feeds.

Do you have a sling?

If he is a snacky baby with bfeeding, he's likely to be a snacky baby with formula, but you'll have bottles to wash up and formula to throw away - bear that in mind.

There are things you can try to stretch out the gaps between feeds or try to get him sleeping a bit better, but not at growth spurt time - not worth it imo and ime. Do you co-sleep? Might be worth it for a bit? It's how I got any sleep at this time - DS2 sleeps in a cot now (mostly...) - he's 11mo - has done since he was 7mo and learnt to crawl - so you don't have to co-sleep forever if you do it now.

I know how hard it is and I really sympathise. Stick with it though - it's worth it, I promise. You are doing really, really well x x x

Quootiepie · 19/12/2006 00:55

no routine. I didn't bother, babies settle into their own routine. Best thing is don't stress about it, go with the flow. Feed lying in bed as much as you can... and express and give to DH to get some rest if you need it... xxx

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:03

Joseph - thanks. Sling may be an idea to get him sleeping in blocks... hmm

Qp - I see what you're saying - dd1 eventually settled herself and slleps fab now... thing is this was after months of letting her sleep on top of me as i watched telly/dancing her to sleep to MTV/going for two hour fast walks on the buggy. I just don't have to space for that with ds with Dd1 in my life. Just the lifting and the juggling is already taking its toll - let alone the sleep and dd1s tantrums

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 19/12/2006 01:05

Yes - I only have the one... with a sling you can BF, and get on with things... might be worth it xxx

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 19/12/2006 01:09

Don't worry about a routine. He'll find one eventually.

Have you tried a swing or bouncer seat with him. My ds would sleep for hours while he was in his swing.

This will pass . . . .eventually.

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:20

Which swing? Do I need to try some out to see what ds likes, or are they all more or less the same?

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 19/12/2006 01:26

I found the aquarium fisher price one excellent

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:26

Thanks for turning up to cheerlead and advise, btw, guys.

It strikes me that ds is actually sleeping in his cot nicely now (just fed)... and I'm having a small beer and some battered prawns from the fridge sitting feeling miserable!

You know, every time ds cries (including nappy change time) dd comes up to tell me he's hungry! She also advises me 'eres babys bed' when she wants some time with me alone.

OP posts:
MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 19/12/2006 01:27

They're all pretty much the same. I'm in the US and I don't know what brands are available where you are, but mine was a fisher price. Mine played music and had toys at the top. Ds loved it until about 7 months when he was ready to sit up and get out.

It was great when he had bronchitis because we had to keep him propped up, but at two months that is hard to do. The seat let us have him sitting up, while he was sleeping.

Joseph · 19/12/2006 01:31

(I didn't go to bed - I was hand expressing though, so couldn't type!)

Kif, DS1 used to do that - "DS2 cwying, feed him miwk!" and "DS2 go inna seat" when he wanted me to put him down

It will get easier, I promise. I felt like sobbing "when?!" when people said that to me, but it really, really does - he's so little now and just learning how to be a person, and who his family are, and what it's like to feel cold/hot/hungry/cross/tired/etc, etc, etc.

Really empathise - and would second a bouncy chair or swing - in fact, where are you? If you're anywhere near me, you can borrow our bouncy chair for a bit to see if he likes it? I'm in west London, if that helps?

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:35

We looked at some swings, and dh thought that they lloked a bit flimsy and like they could easil;y be tipped over by a toddler. Is that what you found?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:37

Ha ha joseph.

I'm east london. We have a rocker chair - which ds is fairly neutral towards. Presume councy chair same effect?

OP posts:
MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 19/12/2006 01:40

They are fairly light, but a toddler shouldn't be able to tip on over. Besides she'll probably be so happy to have mommy time, while he's in there that she won't care. My niece is 3.5 and when my nephew was born 6 months ago she would push the swing for even (even though it had batteries)

Have you thought about getting her one of those baby sets from toys r us. They have baby doll, swing, crib, stroller, the works for babies. My sister got one for my niece (they're aren't too expensive) when she was pregnant so that my niece understood that some things are just for the baby, and whatever her brother had, her "baby" had too.

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 19/12/2006 01:42

Oh no. bouncy seats are the best. Some rock and some don't, but almost all vibrate. Mine vibrates, lights up and plays music. (yes, I have a gadget in every room)

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 01:43

qp - which aquarium? The portable one, or the newer model which has side-to-side or forward-and-back motion?

OP posts:
MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 19/12/2006 01:46

If you decide to get the aquarium swing, don't get the bouncy seat that matches. It's total crap. My ds fell over to the side didn't fall off, but just kept flopping to the side. It has no cushion for the baby to lounge in. It's really stiff.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/12/2006 01:57

Hi Kif, agree with what other have said - babies go through a huge growth spurt at this stage so will naturally want to feed more.

At this point - to keep your supply going it is better to just feed on demand than try and fit to a routine. I know its not easy doing when you have another one around.

perhaps you can have a bag of special toys you can give to DD for when you are feeding?

Quootiepie · 19/12/2006 02:13

the one that goes 2 ways...

Quootiepie · 19/12/2006 02:13

was my saviour - DS would nap in it

Original poster
Kif · 19/12/2006 03:47

Thanks guys. I fell asleep!

OP posts:
mamama · 19/12/2006 04:18

I am a bit sling & swing advocate. DS was very clingy and colicky and the ony way I could get through a day without holding him ALL the time was by carrying him in the sling (where he could BF) or letting him sleep in his swing. I would strongly suggest 1 or both of those..

jabberwocky · 19/12/2006 05:02

Ds2 is almost 4 weeks and we have much of the same going on. I have a sling and wear him in that quite a bit. Also swing - fisher price portable aquarium - and a bouncy chair. You never know what is going to work at the time and for how long.

I also invested in an Amby bed this time around. He still takes longer to settle than I would like but it does seem better than with ds1.

Also, don't forget that babies go through a growth spurt at around 6 weeks so now may not be the best time to judge his reaction to a routine.

hana · 19/12/2006 07:55

agree with others that he has to find his own routime - I have a 13 week old and she's still looking for one!
but it does happen
I've just managed to get a second hand swing - makes don't really matter imo, as long as it works and that makes a difference in terms of spednign time with the other 2 and getting meals ready etc etc
hope things are getting better

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