Day 2 and can't do it anymore

[AverageSnowflake01]

I've been breastfeeding for 2 days now and it's been hell from the very beginning. I can't get baby to latch properly so her whole mouth is around my nipple and areola. I try at least 3 times and in the end I give in because she's screaming her head off and I don't want her to go hungry. It's so painful when I feed her that I actually cry but she just won't latch on. What should i do? I didn't plan to FF but I may have to do this if she isn't latching on properly

Some more knowledgeable posters will be along soon to give you some suggestions about latching I'm sure, but I just wanted to say that I felt exactly the same way you did.

You should do whatever is right for you so if that's formula then that's fine, but if you want to hear that it gets easier I just wanted to tell you that for the first few days I was crying in pain, tensing every muscle and constantly expanding my pillow structure in the vain hope that it would help. I'm over 3 weeks in now and it has got much easier. Nipples have healed and she latches better - and will get better still as her mouth gets bigger.

It is still a touch more comfortable on one side than the other but I haven't felt that pain for a while now - one day I just suddenly realised it didn't hurt anymore.

One week in and day 2 was TOUGH. Day three slightly easier and once you're milk comes in easier still. We're at day 8 and it's still tiring but significantly easier than day2/3 when he literally fed none stop. It hurt. I cried a lot. But get lots of help.

I was unable to DS1 best myself up about it. However, now I have a baby who feeds properly, it has taught me a lesson that some babies do not feed and years ago (before bottles) he would have died. I always blamed myself for doing something wrong. But I didn't. DS2 has shown that.

You both need to learn what to do if you do want to BF. But equally if FF is what makes you happier go with that.

Are you still in hospital? If so ask the infant feeding person to see you. If at hime, call your midwife team where you gave birth and ask for someone to come and see you.

Alternatively, Google for lactation consultants in your area who will do a home visit.

And make sure you get baby checked for tongue tie. Latch issues can sometimes be due to this. Or sometimes it's just hard to get the latch right in early days.

Ps day 2 is notoriously hard! They have a little growth spurt and are often very fussy with it. I remember dd fed for 8 hrs straight on day 2!

The kellymom website has excellent advice on what is and isn't normal!

I'm not knowledgeable enough to give advice on the practical side, but hopefully someone who is will be along soon.

The first few days were toughest for me too, but worth it long term. Not in some bull shit made me a better mum way or because formula feeding should be classed as inferior parenting. Just because once you've got the hang of it getting a boob out is easier than making up bottles and all the faff that goes with it.

That said if you can't get any advice and support/ or it doesn't seem to help you, then don't feel guilty if you can't carry on. A good mum is a happy one, not one miserable forcing themselves to do something that just isn't working for them.

Call your midwife for support of you are home. That's what they are their for, ringing one of the national breastfeeding helplines as well while you are waiting for them could be very useful. You should have been given the numbers with your discharge pack. If not they are on mumsnet website breastfeeding section.

Also Google biological nurturing, and let baby find the breast on their own this often works well for newborns. Good luck first few weeks are hard work but it can be done with good support if it's what you want.

Oh you poor thing. I hope that you are having a better time by now. Get onto your midwife they will be able to help, you could also see if there's a breast feeding counsellor available in your area, who might be able to help.

I was given three pieces of advice about the practicalities of BFing.

1. Get a good latch.
2. Hold the baby tummy-to-tummy
3. Keep your back completely straight and upright (God knows why this helped make it less painful but it really did: I used to sit like a ramrod up against the wall).

The first few days with DC1 were hellish: and then I was shown by a MW how to get a good latch. The next few weeks were still tough but ultimately it was worth it, and it was much easier getting started with subsequent DC.

Oops posted too soon. It might be worth asking your midwife to check if your baby has a tongue tie as this can really get in the way of a baby latching and therefore give pain. The procedure for 'snipping' a tie is relatively simple and minor - although talk it through first if it turns out that this is the problem.

What I really wanted to say though was to hang in there. The first days are so so hard, and you can't even hit the too hard. And if it doesn't work out and you can't breast feed then that is what formula is for. Contrary to how it might seem from some quarters, it won't even raise an eyebrow from most people.

I hope that you are being well looked after and congratulations on your baby

Don't beat yourself up about it. Breastfeeding is hard. My DD wouldn't latch on and feed properly until she was 7 days old and I well remember feeling like an utter failure that it wouldn't work. I started off expressing colostrum and feeding with a syringe, a bit of formula through a finger tube (PITA) before my milk came in and then expressed milk in bottles. She just needed a bit of time and once she started she's been great. I found the rugby ball position easiest to get her going at the beginning.

Also do see if you have any local baby cafes and get yourself there for some support and cake. Mine has been a godsend and it's just such a relief to not feel like the only person struggling.

I was the same and I have to say I did give up and revert to FF. I was in agony and I was putting off feeding her because I was scared of the pain. I do sometimes think about it and wish I had persevered but then I look at my DD who is happy and healthy. As PP have said, you can get help to BF or switch to FF. The call is completely and utterly up to you. Best of luck

Is it shit, it is painful but it is worth it.

Keep going.

But get help- call your midwife/breastfeeding team a the hospital/local breastfeeding support ASAP. You'll be able to speak to the maternity ward for help at night.

Take paracetamol. Use your labour breathing.

You just had a baby, which basically makes you superwoman ...you can do this too. But it's bloody difficult. You are your baby are still learning, you'll get there.

I've tried shaping my areola in to an oval shape and that's eased the pain at the moment.

I haven't left the house since getting back from the hospital 2 days ago and I haven't had a HV visit me yet. But once the HV visits, I will talk to her about baby's latch. I'm determined not to give up now, just fighting through the pain.

Have you tried rugby ball position?

Keep breathing, it will get better.

alongtime yes, started doing rugby yesterday and I've been breathing through, it's especially painful when she just latches on and I want to scream.

Make sure you've had a pee before you nurse. It reduces pain from womb contractions post birth.

Make sure you're holding the baby's head with the hand opposite the boob of choice - I used to splay my fingers up dd's neck and round her ears to fully support her head. Hand on the same side as boob of choice should be holding boob like a sandwich, gentle pressure with thumb on top and other four fingers underneath.

I've done some helpful diagrams. Just call me Da Vinci

It's bloody hard and you're doing really well OP, even if it doesn't feel like it. Once I got the hang of the rugby hold (lots of pillows beneath DC help) feeding became a lot more comfortable. If your dd is overwrought it can be even more difficult for her to latch properly. mine goes from zero to starving in about 3 seconds and sometimes I can calm him by getting the nipples under his nose or letting him smell a muslin with a few drops of milk on it so he knows it's coming.

Phone the hv team and ask about all the breastfeeding resources in your area--drop in clinics, maternity support workers, lactation consultants etc. I found feeding at the clinics much easier with guidance from people who could help me. And if you need to express and cup feed, by all means try that too. If you did NCT, I think they have a support line you can phone.

Breastfeeding is one of the most difficult things I've ever learned to do. It should get better but if it doesn't, formula is there. We're combination feeding now and it works for us. Lots of luck and strength.

flossie lol

I've been holding DD with my right arm, under right boob and using left hand to direct my nipple. Will try the way you've illustrated.

austengirl I've been looking at breastfeeding cafes and plan to go along hopefully within the next week. Haven't been able to leave the house since bringing DD home.

Have you tried nipple shields? If not get DH / DP to a supermarket and pick some up. Might be worth a try. Also lasionah cream. It's in a purple tube and relatively pricey but fab and you don't need to remove it before feeding. Slather it on!

You're doing really well

pottering no I havent, but will try them along with gel pads. I have superdrug nipple cream. Is Lansinoh the best cream out there then? I got the superdrug one because it's cheap, less than £1.

Some babies just get it and some just don't. I've had both! Even when it is all working well, the first few days are pretty sore and I'm wincing just at the memory of it all! I used to wiggle my feet, counting to 10, to get the worst bit over.

You are doing really well. Do call the midwives if you have concerns and they should send someone out to you. I had midwives out 3 times on day 2 with DC1, as someone would come, help for a bit, leave us to it and then they'd come back or send someone else to see how things were going.

There are good breastfeeding helplines to talk to a real person. Anyone is welcome to phone them whether they did NCT classes or not.

www.nct.org.uk/branches/north-east-northamptonshire/breastfeeding-support/breastfeeding-helplines

Assuming you are not in Scotland where Monday is a Bank Holiday, things should be back to normal on Monday and I'd really, really recommend doing everything to get to a breastfeeding cafe to get someone to have a look at things.

At the moment, your job is just to sit and feed, so don't feel guilty about doing nothing else. Sit in bed, find something good to watch, drinks and food at the ready, top off and snuggle together until you two learn together.

Also, try multimam compresses - they are pricey, but they work wonders on sore nipples. I'm 2 weeks in with DC2, waiting for a referral for tongue tie to be cut and these along with nipple shields are the only reason I'm still persevering

I'm 9 months in, but I remember the start so clearly. The only reason I kept going was I was just so bloody minded. Plus you are getting through the hardest parts one feed at a time. I also found having a piece of furniture to kick helped. I found my let down so painful and I would say even now there are times were it's a really funny feeling. It's kind of down round the side of my boobs but that plus the nipple pain was excruciating.

Use as many pillows as you need, even if you feel ridiculous.

Do you not have a midwife coming to see you every day? That's standard where I am and some of them were very helpful. My HV was amazing too, she saved me! She had breast fed twins and came in one day and just man handled me but she was lovely and I could have actually kissed her.

Don't get the cheap cream! Honestly, lasionah is worth every penny. You don't use much so it lasts for ages.