Pressure to stop breastfeeding ds at one year old

[Feenie]

I would like to continue breastfeeding my ds, who loves it, and is 1 on Thursday. However, my dh wants me to stop as he thinks it is creepy to feed a toddler and thinks I am holding my ds back. My mother has always felt that bfding excludes my dh because ds wants mummy all the time and that by continuing feeding him I am not being fair on dh or ds. People at work have also made comments - I am a primary school teacher and we have children who are 'mummy's boys', so popular belief is that it's the mummies own fault when they continue to breastfeed past one!

I am resigned to existing with people who live in the dark ages where breastfeeding enlightenment is concerned, but I am sick of fighting a losing battle and have begrudgingly decided I will stop. But I am so worried about how I should go about this - I have always let ds feed on demand and he is a very frequent feeder, especially when I come home from school. I see this as touching base, and an important part of our relationship, and am worried about refusing this and other feeds. I feel ds would be very upset, but my dh and mother see this as a reason to stop, he is too dependent on me.

Anyone put up with this before, or know what I could do to cut down/stop bfding altogether? Any advice appreciated, thanks.

Just to add,I live in Yorkshire too.Will have to get CAT facility sorted.I am working too,and have to say have had negative comments from colleagues that upset me.Now think -stuff them.(I did not bring the subject up).As long as you and baby are happy thats all that matters.Have told MIL and partner who were giving me grief that it has many health benefits for baby.Kellymom is a really good site.HTH.

your bf relationship changes so much with a child over 1yr. i find it is a great tool for heading off tantrums. also sometimes we are caught out when out longer than expected and dd needs a 'snack' or mummy hasn't gotten the meal ready in time . her sheer delight when she squeals and cuddles up next to me for her night and morning feeds. how she runs over to me and asks for her feed when i pick her up at nursery. I think it is stressful for them to be away from their parents all day and bf is proven as a way of reducing stress in children.

at 20 mos her main carer at nursery remarked just friday am how independent she is. and now that she knows her mind, she knows when only a daddy will do which makes dh's heart melt.

I'm still bfing DS at 18 months - just night and morning with an occasional feed if he doesn't have anything better to do! I don't publicise it, but don't hide it either. I'm lucky though in that DH is supportive - I really feel for you.

I would think twice about stopping for the sake of other people. My friend did this - weaned her dd at 15 months because everybody else wanted her to. It was a horrible process because neither the mother nor the child wanted to stop, and my friend is still resentful of her mother and husband now as a result, and is envious of my continuing to feed DS. Not in a bad way, I add - she just really really regrets having weaned her DD when neither of them were ready, and thinks that I and DS are incredibly lucky to still be bfing.

You've had really good advice here about coping with the crap, and I hpe it works out for you. I would add though that DS was a very frequent feeder too at 12 months (it comes and goes in phases) but by the time he was 16 months, it was twice a day. Also, when he's ill, bfing is an absolute Godsend. Truly. I know that my family would prefer me to stop (they think it's weird) but they don't say anything, but even they had to say 'good job you're still bfing' when DS had a very nasty tummy bug and all he would have was bm.

just wanted to add message of support

I bf'd my ds till he was 22m, a few weeks after dd was born, as I found tandem feeding too difficult but probably would have fed till 2 otherwise. I had gradually cut down feeds from 1st birthday by intro milk in cup, we co-slept till 19m so most of feeds where at night early am. Then mainly bedtime or comfort feeds - there was some lack of understanding from family etc. but ds is so healthy, big, bright, sociable and independant that they didn't really have a basis for criticism.

Go with your instincts and do what is right for you and your family whether that means stopping or carrying on - good luck

dh was bf to 4 and went to a different country to board at 10. ds fed to 4 and his teacher at 10 says he is very confidant [always been a daddys boy]. dd fed to 3 and went to nursery recently barely glancing back at us.

Don't give up something you enjoy and are good at because of your mother and dh.

Not scientific but ds became a daddy's boy whilst still bfing - it's a developmental thing.

And when ds gave up (at 2.5 when I was in hospital as an emergency) he was totally fine about it, and he had the language that we could chat about him feeling a bit sad, and I could explain that I was sad too, but he would still get lots of cuddles.

I teach children and 1 year olds are still babies.