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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

b/f babe, slow weight gain

22 replies

hazlinh · 19/05/2004 08:45

hi, dd is 3 mths and a half now, and still breastfed! I can't believe I made it this far...thought I would have given up sooner..
I just took her for a check-up at the paed today and she has only gained half a kilo since the last check-up a month ago!!!!!she used to put on at least one kilo a month. I also seem to be producing less milk I think, maybe due to the fact that I'm working, and am more stressed, and am not pumping often enough. She often cries during feeds, is this because I'm not producing enuf milk??help! shd i supplement, and if so , can anyone recommend which formula to use?i really dont want to start on formula tho if i can help it....

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Clayhead · 19/05/2004 09:03

As far as I know, slowing down weight gain at around 3 months is perfectly normal, they can't gain at that amazing rate forever!!

Why do you think you're producing less milk? Is it because you're not 'as full'? This could be because your body has got more efficient.

There has been another thread on this type of thing with more infomred advice than mine, I'll find it and do a link for you.

Clayhead · 19/05/2004 09:05

this thread could be useful to you

toddlerbob · 19/05/2004 09:05

Did the paed say to start supplementing or is this something you think you maybe should do? Babies can't keep putting on a kilo a month forever, and if she is happy and alert then she is doing fine.

Did you tell the paed about crying during feeds?

Piffleoffagus · 19/05/2004 09:24

I have a dd who is slow weight gain, simply because she levelled out and found her centile which is at the smallest end of the scale, so long as height and weight remain in proportion with head circ then you are doing fine...
I avoided supplementation as I wanted to do extended breastfeeding and knew it would compromise my supply, but if you truly feel that you cannot manage it as you are, don't feel guilty about your choices.
And with formula it is more which one will she drink... mine flatly refused any non boob drinks until 13 mths!

frogs · 19/05/2004 10:19

This seems to be quite common with bfed babies. My dd2 has put on weight quite slowly from birth, and at 5 months is still only a bit over 6 kilos, despite being 4.25 kilos at birth, so nowhere near the kilo/half kilo a month your dd has been gaining.

I did get a bit of humphing from the HV, who was encouraging me to start solids, but took dd2 to the GP who took one look at her and said, "She looks like a perfectly healthy baby to me". Apparently the thing to check is the thighs; if they have little chunky folds there, they're probably fine.

Fussing and fidgeting during feeds is also normal 3-4 month behaviour, as they start taking more interest in the world around them. I'm planning to keep going till 6 months with exclusive bfeeding, and would only supplement if I were given very convincing medical reasons why modified cows milk was likely to be better for my baby than her own personalised supply of human milk.

hth

tiktok · 19/05/2004 13:13

Good advice here, haz Crying during feeds could be anything.

If you want to increase your milk, feed more often. You can do this when you are with her, even if it means on some days you feed lots and on others (when you are not with her) you feed less. Stress won't affect supply, but reduced pumping/feeding might....but it is reversible. No need for formula.
Half a kilo weight gain in the last month is fine. It's normal and predictable for weight gain to slow after the first weeks. If she gained a kilo a month for ever she'd be ma-hoo-sive

hazlinh · 20/05/2004 04:40

thanks guys..i did start to feel paranoid cos the * mum-i-l kept saying 'oh maybe you're not producing enuf milk' everytime dd was fussing at the boob...plus I did not feel as full as before but I know now that's not necessarily a sign of 'emptiness'!

No, toddlerbob, I didn't think to mention the crying to the paed..(silly me) and paed did not suggest supplementing..will ask him next week if I need to worry,I guess I'm just cracking under pressure from the m-i-l!

altho I've got a lovely paed who's very much pro-b/f and quite anti-formula, so I suspect he might say no!

Will take your advice tiktok and try to feed her more when I'm with her, like at nite, etc...i think i do need to up the milk production a bit...am only able to pump 10 oz a day now compared to 15 oz a mth ago...

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hazlinh · 20/05/2004 04:42

but the thing is she HAS got those chunky folds on her thighs and arms, she's a regular michelin! which is why I got the shock of my life when paed announced the (what m-i-l called 'dismal' weight gain!!

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gothicmama · 20/05/2004 06:09

Did the paed say it was dismal or was just mil ( i have a theory on pil ignore unless absolutley necessary any advice or comments) dd slowed her weight gain at 3 months but went on to solids well baby rice mixed with formua (I could not express- many comments about that) and stii Bf it will all be alright

frogs · 20/05/2004 06:46

Hi again haz -- I guess you're not in the UK, posting at 4 in the morning, or are you just insomniac?

Agree with gothicmama that ignoring m-i-l is absolutely paramount. (((Hugs))) and sympathy -- my m-i-l does this kind of thing, too, and it's the last thing you need. Maybe she bottlefed her own babies, in which case she may feel threatened by your bfeeding success. If she bfed successfully, presumably she's not offering to whop them out right now and feed the baby for you, so she doesn't need to have an opinion on it except to tell you how brilliantly you're doing and what a wonderful mother you are. If this is your first baby, then bfeeding is only the first of hundreds of things she's going be criticising you for, so you may as well fit your ears with bypass filters right now.

Also, the amount you can express isn't really an indication of how much your baby's getting I'm rubbish at expressing, but in the early days even I could express a bottle-full cos the baby's feeding patterns are more irregular, so it's more likely there'll be a surplus at odd times. Now the feeding patterns are (presumably) a bit more settled, there's less extra building up waiting to be expressed hence less full and uncomfortable boobs, too.

Sounds like your dd gained loads early on, and has now slowed down, which as tiktok says, makes perfect sense. It is very hard in the early days when you feel insecure about it all, but it sounds as if you're doing brilliantly and your baby is fine and healthy. Maybe you should tell your lovely paed how your m-i-l is giving you a hard time -- I'm sure he will have heard similar stories before and should be able to reassure you. In the meantime perhaps you should develop a mysterious malady that means you need total rest and no visitors at all...

Keep us posted, and take no nonsense.

acnebride · 20/05/2004 07:01

Dismal weight gain? 500g in a month?? That's brilliant! Your mil is talking rubbish I'm afraid. Has she confused it with half a pound a month? I was given a bf only growth chart by our bf clinic and a quick glance at 3 months says that half a kilo looks exactly right... but i'm not a professional... luckily your professionals are telling you that ALL IS WELL. Sympathise so much re the mil and her comments - v scary when babe is crying. when i was in hosp with ds at 4 wks my mother's first comment to me on the phone was 'do you think you have inherited lack of milk from me' aaaaaargh. do find out her bf history as others suggest - it will probably be illuminating. better still, buy her a holiday to timbuctoo...

frogs · 20/05/2004 08:20

On a more serious note than developing fake maladies and posting your m-i-l to Timbuctu, you could insist that you need to feed your dd in private, as having other people present distracts the baby from feeding -- thus giving m-i-l the idea that maybe it's her presence that's putting the baby off rather than your milk.

This needn't be just a ruse -- my baby definitely feeds in a less concentrated way if I'm talking to others, as she keeps looking round to see what's going on. Frankly, having your m-i-l sitting there criticising is bound to make you tense, which may well communicate itself to the baby.

Just a thought...

toddlerbob · 20/05/2004 09:08

If your paed is happy you should be happy. MIL will never be happy - it's in their job description.

If she is having bottles while you are at work then it could be the crying and fussing is just that she is annoyed she has to work a little harder for a breastfeed. It's not a sign you don't have enough milk, and I'm not a bottle expert (used one once on someone else's baby) but have you changed to a faster teat or something recently? I know some say from 3 months so it could be that's a little fast for a bfed baby.

I am quite prepared for someone else to tell me I am talking rubbish, as I said I have no experience so I'm just guessing.

hazlinh · 20/05/2004 09:29

hi Frogs! (am a thousand miles away from UK!)actually, these are all EXCELLENT suggestions which I never would've thot about!thanks guys! Mil insists I b/f in front of her when she's around, which I've always hated but she always says 'Oh what's there to be shy about, we're all women' or some crap...I'm certain it must only be so that she can keep eagle eye on me and make comments, like the 'dismal' one.. paed didn't even say anything abt the weight gain.
I've got no idea what mil's b/f history is, but dh claims his youngest brother was b/f til 9 yrs old!!??!!!dh is obviously not a reliable source of info...!

There might just be something to the teats theory, toddlerbob, cos I did switch to a slightly faster flow teat (again m-i-l pressuring me to do so, saying dd was 'complaining' about slow flow teat!!!! -honestly!)

PS:am sorely tempted to develop mysterious malady to keep me home-bound...

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aloha · 20/05/2004 09:51

Poor you re MIL - I do think it would help you to develop some strategies to deal with her. Avoidance is a very good one - be busy for the next few days. INSIST on breastfeeding alone - say your paediatrician insists on it as he thinks the baby is distracted when feeding (say "sorry, doctor's orders!). The weight gain is great and I am very cross with your MIL for being so unsupportive of you. It might even be worth saying, "actually my baby's weight gain is exactly on target and what it is supposed to be. I would like it if you could be more supportive of me." Hard, I know. MIL's can be a nightmare - she'll be pushing you to wean by next week

toddlerbob · 20/05/2004 11:46

There you go, switch back to the teats YOU liked and see what happens with the breast feeding.

My MIL was obsessed with my nipples, and whether they were cracked - she actually tried to have a look!
Don't listen to her. It's your baby.

frogs · 20/05/2004 12:17

Your MIL sounds a nightmare insist you feed in front of her, indeed! It's your house, your baby and your boobs. Whatever next midnight visits to the bedroom to check up on your sexual technique??!! Poor you. Shame you're not in the UK, otherwise we could put the word out and get 15 angry mumsnetters over to sort her out for you...

A lot of today's grandmothers failed at bfeeding in the sixties and seventies because of the unsupportive atmosphere at the time. I think many of them have real 'issues' around their daughters/DILs breastfeeding, and can end up attempting to sabotage it whether intentionally or not.

You know you're doing the right thing, your baby is healthy and the doctor is happy, so frankly any problem is hers not yours. I suspect most women who've fed successfully would be able to tell a story about similar negative reactions -- you just have to develop a lot of self-confidence and a way of deflecting the comments.

IME I think MILs who don't have daughters of their own can be particularly bad news, as they don't really know how to handle the relationship, and having a baby is likely to bring any lurking problems to a head. My MIL veered between trying to manage me and being over-matey in a rather creepy all-girls-together sort of way. It was only when she took dd1 (then aged 3) to the hairdresser for a complete restyle without asking me that I finally lost it and told it like it was. I wouldn't say it's made our relationship more cordial (!) but at least she knows not to mess with me.

hazlinh · 22/05/2004 01:10

i know! In fact I'm sure she secretly does want to lecture me on my sexual techniques or whatever....AND she does try to be over-matey with me sometimes, trying to arrange shopping trips or day-trips out together!aarrgggg

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hazlinh · 02/06/2004 04:55

hi just to let everyone know (if you have no patience, skip this!) that I followed some of the great advice posted here, and everything's going well! am pumping much more milk nowadays and it certainly helps...also dumped the faster flow teats...dd also seems to have settled down a bit compared to when i posted that desperate note!dunno what the 'real' problem was, but whatever it was, it's magically vanished! dd and mum much happier now...
Now all I need is a good plan to get rid of the MIL

OP posts:
Clayhead · 02/06/2004 08:41

hazlinh, that's great, I'm so glad it's got better for you.

If you have any ideas on the MIL front then please pass them on...

hercules · 02/06/2004 09:19

Pleased for you

frogs · 02/06/2004 09:21

hazlinh, that's great news.

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