5m want to give up bf but dd won't take a bottle - will I be feeding her forever more?1

[bodenbetty]

have had enough of breastfeeding now & am losing confidence in the ability of my milk to fill her up as she is feeding every 3 hours still night & day.
trouble is she refuses point blank to take anything (formula/breastmilk/water/gin)from any sort of bottle. also Dh is not around to fed her so obviously she is going to prefer me to any bottel.
any tips on how to get over this?

Bodenbetty its a tough one. I found breastfeeding tough from the minute go, and I'm sorry but I cant offer any helpful suggestions as I planned to go to bottle around 3 months with DD. Well, she had other plans and refused point blank to have ANY bottle ANY teat etc until she decided that was enough at 9 months and she went straight onto an avent bottle with spout!

My dd was sleeping throught at 3 months and then at 4-5 months she started waking up, first once and then, just like you every 2-3 hours. In her case i think it was a comnbination of a growth spurt and the fact that she wasn't feeding enough during the day because she was getting distracted, looking around and not concentrating on feeding. Could this be your dd's case? It's around this age that they start doing this. Have a look in kellymom website, I'm sure they discuss it there.
I also thought that introducing formula and solids would make my dd sleep through again but my hv convinced me not to do it and I persevered with breast only. It turned out that when I did introduce solids at 6 mo she would still wake up in the middle of the night! I think that her sleeping pattern was already disrupted and it didn't matter if she was hungry or not. In the end I had to be brave and not feed her. It was hard but it definitely worked!
Maybe you want to tray that? For one of the night feeds to start with. When she wakes up give her water (in a cup if she won't take a bottle) and then try to put her to sleep again (how you do this is a different argument! I let my dd cry tp sleep, but she was over 6 mo).
Your milk does have everything she needs and daytime feeds should be enough at this age. So you can be sure that you're doing a wonderful job! Is there a sleep clinic near you? I went to one and it really helped, it gave me the confidence not to feed dd during the night.
Good luck!

Can I join in? ds is 9months and has been 100% breastfed all this time. i introduced solids at 6months, but he just wasnt really interested until 8 months, when he started taking one proper feed a day at 4pm, shaking his head to everything beforehand. sometimes he will take a small bowl of cereals at 8pm, but rarely. the rest is my breasts (poor things!) and he is huge- 30lbs and really fat. he feeds every 3 hours day and night. i am totally exhausted and he wont take a bottle or the cup. i cant leave him with anyone. will this ever end?

Eggnog
I can sympathise, as I was still doing BFs about every 4 hours up until 8 mths - and it seemed that everyone else's babies were sleeping through etc. I wondered whether he would ever stop bf-ing.

However a month later and his solids had increased to the point where he was taking less milk and my production dropped off. It might just be worth trying to hold on in there for another few weeks, as your DS will probably start taking more interest in solids and you will not be the main course anymore.

You are doing an amazing job, and are one of a very few number of mums who are still breastfeeding at this stage - but it is the gold standard to which lots of mums aspire. If you do want to pack it in more quickly, don't feel too bad about it - your DS has had the best possible start.

If you read the kellymom.com site there are papers which discuss the benefits of extended breastfeeding (beyond a year), but if that is not for you, you have given your baby lots of health benefits already, had the pleasure of feeding your baby, and can take a lot of pride in growing that 30lb-er almost by yourself!

Well done

(One of the funniest things I heard was a woman who was desperate to wean her baby from the breast, who drew an angry face on her tit - which apparently worked!!)

PS If you wanted to get out for an afternoon, would your baby take a bottle or a beaker? Even if you just left him some water and a solid snack, you might find that you feel lots better about it after the break you need and deserve.
Good luck.

When my babies were on just breastmilk I went out and left them with dh, once they had settled in the evening. I wasn't very far away and was prepared to dash back if all hell broke loose but never had to. Worth a try - just don't book expensive theatre tickets!!

smellen, pmsl at the face. thanks for great advice and support. part of me want to keep going as the benefits are huge. part of me feels like the very marrow of my bones is being sucked dry. i am hoping that his solid intake will pick up now, but he is allergic to lots of stuff and very fussy. i am going home for xmas next week and my mum who is great and v experienced is going to try to get a bottle in him again. trouble is if i try to give him one he just mucks about with it, spits it at me then head butts my chest.

i should have married a smaller man. breeding with a giant was bound to end in trouble.....

If you mum is v supportive, then ask her to have a go with a bottle, but also ask her if you can have a few days of pampering. You probably need to have baby delivered to your bedside for a feed, then whisked away to be entertained by your relatives whilst you relax and recharge your batteries.

Don't give up trying the bottle - babies are funny old things. Sometimes, after months of refusing something, they take a sudden liking to it. You might find offering milk or water from a beaker is more successful - it might be that your baby won't take milk from a bottle as it's just too confusing, but he might take water or some v dilute juice from one.

I know what you mean about big babies. I am over 6ft and DS was a whopper. They take a lot of feeding. You are doing really well. If your baby has lots of food intolerances/ allergies you are really helping him by introducing him to solids so gradually.
Good luck.

Is the milk from the bottle warm enough? After a few weeks of trying, we found Thomas likes his bottles very warm! He's only bottle fed when i'm at work or out for the day with him. We use the closer to nature Tommee Tippee ones.

gosh so much to catch up on! ahve decided to just go with teh flow unti teh end of teh year when she will be 6m - its only a few more weesk & then I win't ahve to faff about with sterilising etc over Xmas.
last night was much better with her so think that upping teh solids may be helping - it certainly hasn't efected her daytime appetite for milk though!
1 thing I rmemer from my son is that teh milk had to be really warm for him to drink it - almost to teh point where I htough it was too hot for him. I've alos bought a few beakers & think that might be teh way ahead - otherwise it'l be cold turkey (no pun intended) after new year!

I totally understand your frustration. You probably should have introduced a bottle (even with expressed breastmilk) much much sooner, say between 2 and 6 weeks after birth, to get her used to it. However, I am sure, if you persist she will eventually take it.

I don't know how old your baby is but if she is over 5 months try giving her baby rice (it's more filling than pear) at lunchtime and before bedtime, that should fill her up a bit. If she is younger do try and give her a bottle of formula before bedtime. My dd woke up every 3 hours at night to breastfeed and it exhausted me no end (my Doctor did say that milk production can be affected by being run down). When (on her advice) I gave dd a bottle of formula at bedtime she slept for 5 hours solid. After that night I felt life got a lot easier ! I continued breastfeeding but gave her a big bottle of formula every night and the sleeping was sorted, just like that. Your baby will get all the benefits of breastfeeding, e.g. the antibodies, even if you were only to breastfeed twice a day. The formula at nighttime (and another one at lunchtime if you feel she needs it) will fill her up properly and keep her tummy full for longer as cows protein takes longer to be digested. Another advantage of feeding her a bottle is that someone else can do it, e.g. you can get your partner or your mum to take over a nightshift once a week and you can have a WHOLE night's sleep. Imagine that !!! So, persist with the bottle feeding. Breastfeeding is great but it is very tying and exhausting, there is nothing wrong with feeding the odd bottle of formula. If I have another baby I will mix-feed (use both breast and bottle) from the start.

Good Luck !

Bodenbetty, we cross-posted. I didn't know she was six months old.

Rochwen I did as you suggested and introduced the bottle at 3 weeks, dd2 is now 12 weeks and still refuses.

DD1 was the same but we didn't introduce her to the bottle until 4/5 months the only ones she would take were NUK so we tried those straight away this time - no luck. Have also tried tommee tipper closer to nature and avent. Have also made the milk very warm (don;t worry - not too warm!) and even heated the teat - HELP what do we do next?!!!!

My ds was bottle fed when born, as my milk didn't come through until a week and then he rejected the bottle!!! So, in reality, I don't think it really makes too much difference if you introduce it that young. I have been battling with him ever since.

Bodenbetty, go with the flow. It's the hardest thing I found to do, but I have found that since he's been on 3 meals it has helped. Also, he never used to take the dummy, but started taking that a couple of weeks ago, and on mears' and other people advice I have been able to use that to lengthen his time between feeds, as it's often for comfort..

No advice to add, but just wanted to say I think it is really common for this to happen at around this age. DS suddenly started waking up about every 3 hours at about 5 months. I was so cross because I had assumed that sleep was something that just got easier and he had been sleeping from 7ish to about 5ish. It sorted itself out when he started proper solids (at about 8 months?) as opposed to "tasting" solids. My very amateur theory is that having got used to milk, his body just took a couple of months to 'recalibrate' after introducing solids. The funny thing is that at 3 he can now wake up more often than his little sister (7 weeks) because of nightmares. Anyway, where I am going with this is don't panic that the 3 hourly wakings is a permanent change, it is quite likely that it is a bump that will pass by itself.

Can totally sympathise with the feelings on this thread. Don't know if this will help but ...

DS never really took to a bottle either despite trying every night for weeks. He did sleep though from 12 weeks tho - we were quite strict!!! And its possible that those that are having milk in the night (and old enough to be weaning)are getting too much milk and therefore not having enough appetite for food during the day and therefore needing milk in the night iyswim. Also are there sleep association problems with the feeding in the night???

In the end the bf cut down when DS was weaning at 4-6 months. He didn't eat that well until the hv told me at 7 months to drop him to 3 feeds rather than 4 during the day (his weight gain had stopped at 6 months for a few weeks so clearly he wasn't eating enough) and, sure enough food intake increased and milk decreased. As part of weaning I was giving him water in an Avent cup (took out the plastic "non spill" bit so he didn't need to suck it out) and then just put milk in it. Like others had to experiment with different types of formula. I swapped him to formula from the cup/bottle with a spout for his day time feed at 7 months and bfed in the mornings and at bedtime. This was soo much more manageable and actually quite nice - DH would "deliver" DS to me in bed in the mornings and the bed time bfeed is all about settling and cuddles anyway. Eventually stopped bfing at 9 months and DS on cows milk at 11 months from the cup. He still loves his milk and food now (18 months). Am planning the same approach with bean 2...

HTH - good luck, as others have said BF is soo important and you should be very proud of what you have achieved already!

Good news, ds slept from midnight until 6.30 am last night. no idea why, but i feel fantastic today. all the woodchips and dust seems to have cleared from my head. ds is also napping really well today. fingers crossed it lasts.

thanks for the advice. i am going to try to continue bf-ing and co sleeping as long as i can, i get more wound up when trying to change things than i do when i just go with the flow.

No real help to add but just to say that my DS was also almost sleeping through until 4/5 months and then started night waking 3 or 4 times a night. I know from other mums I socialise with that this is very common, about half the babies in my NCT group seemed to have a blip at the same time. Some people tried early solids, others supplemented with formuala - didn't seem to make a blind bit of difference! I carried on breastfeeding and now (at nearly 8 months) he's not sleeping through but is back to once or twice a night which is bearable.

Please don't blame yourself or feel as if it is your milk at fault - i think it's just one of those phases they go through.

Hi BodenBetty

I was in same situation, HV advised to use a feeding cup Not any kind of bottle

I used Tommy Tipee 4mths+ cup, few quid from Tesco

She drinks cooled boiled water from it, I also expresses for a bitto buiild up my milk,

Then at 5 andhalf months started on first tastes of Hipp apple puree jars (lazy of me but fun!!)

she loved it, and can hold the cup herself now at nearly 6mths old.

You are amazing for bf for that long, it is so tough at the end as they get so strong and want so much to eat, but keep at it, and see your HV if it gets tough, Lots of Love Voodoooooooo X

although my dd sleeps about 6-7hrs in a row, she still needs to eat every two/3 hours, albeit a meal, or a bf.

6am bf in bed
1030 bf or sometimes half a jar fruity Hipp stuff
1215 half a jar savoury flavoured
2pm bf
4pm bf
515pm half jar savoury stuff
7pm bf and straight to bed
Sometimes 10pm bf
sleeps till 6am usually

the bf are getting shorter though, and I offer lots of water with the meals, times are approximate depends on what I am doing in the day.

I'm really struggling getting ds to drink from cup/beaker. AS you know, he refuses the bottle, so I've been trying Avent magic cup with water for quite a while. I offer water at the end of his meals, but he just chews on it and plays with it. Will it get better or should I try a different one??