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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Urgent, how do I stop breast feeding?

48 replies

mower · 07/12/2006 22:10

Ds2, 5 weeks old is crying constantly when putting him to the breast. It is upsetting me and him so much that I want to stop breast feeding.

I gave him formula tonight at 715 as trying to get him used to one bottle of it a day as working a couple of hours a day in a few months.

After the bottle he was quite content for a while then started routing for the breast. I fed him and he did his usual of screaming and coming on and off.

How do I go from the transition of bottle to breast when he keeps routing for it.

Am so upset he crys so much day and night. Dh has taken him out for a drive to get him to sleep and I just can't stop crying, wish things were easier.

OP posts:
moondog · 07/12/2006 22:12

do you think the crying is connected to the b/feeding?
Is he gaining weight?
Is he happy otherwise?
Does he cry all the time or only at night?

Original poster
mower · 07/12/2006 22:16

I don't know if the crying is connected to bf. The latching on the bf has been getting worse over the last few days.

He is gaining weight well. He has started to have a few periods during the day when he is awake and not crying but he does cry alot and its not just at night during the day as well.

He slept well last night when he eventually settled two four hour stints then for one hour, but god knows how it will be tonight as ds driving him around at mo.

Just don't know what to do, feel so useless.

OP posts:
moondog · 07/12/2006 22:20

Mower,they are screamers when they are new.
If the b/feeding is going well,why change it.
I'm sure you know that b/feeding is by far the best option anyway,and chances are that the screaming will continue if you switch to bottles.

Have you been to see a cranial osteopath.
One theory is that some babies heads become compressed as they are born,making it painful to assume certain positions.
They can help ease that.

Is there a drop in breastfeeding clinic near you that you could go to.

Alternatively (or as well) try the lovely peopel who run the Assoc for Breastfeeding Mothers helpline.

0870 401 7711

I had a monstrous screammer (did it for seven weeks for six hours every night so I do sympathise.It's hell isn't it??)

maryhadaharpsichordyeahlord · 07/12/2006 22:24

mower, I am sorry you are having such trouble.
tbh, I would take some time to work out why he is crying before stopping bf. more likely than not, stopping bf won't help.
cranial osteopathy is a good suggestion but this is a classic age for constant crying I'm afraid and you may have to just wait it out.
It is hard, believe me I know how it can be, esp with another child to cope with during hte day. Try and take a break and see if you can feel more positive. are you getting any support during the day? is dh getting up with him at night?

BahHunkBug · 07/12/2006 22:26

Oh, sweetheart - you've done so well to get this far. Congratulations - you can be very proud of yourself.

It's just bloody, bloody hard when they're tiny and your emotions are all over the place and they can't tell you what's wrong and you want to get it right.

I would say don't worry too much about giving him a bottle to get him used to it - a few months is a massive amount of time and he will be very different by then and you will know him better.

Try to fix the bfeeding first - if this is what you want and it sounds like it is. Agree with MD that cranial osteopathy might be a good plan, but I think you should speak to a bfeeding counsellor first.

How is it when he's latched on? Does it hurt you at all? Is he a windy baby? Do you have lots of milk - does it squirt out when he unlatches after he's been sucking a bit?

You can do this, if it's what you want - you have the support on here, you can access RL support from the bfeeding support lines and you sound like a strong woman. You've done the hardest bit, I promise you x x x

welliemum · 07/12/2006 22:26

Poor you! It sounds so stressful.

There are some experts in bfeeding around, but I'm not one of them - so let's see what they say - but if baby 's gaining weight nicely, that sounds reassuring for a start.

Just wondering: Do you have a sling or baby carrier and does that help?

Mine, when they were tiny, were very clingy babies who needed to be close to me, otherwise they just cried. So I wore them everywhere. This worked well for all of us.

It's a phase that seems to go on forever at the time, then when you look back, you realise it was just a few weeks really.

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 07/12/2006 22:27

this is all anecdotal as im not remotely qualified:

if hes crying a lot, something is bothering him. probably something fairly minor and easy to fix, if you can only find the strength, and luck, through the fog of tiredness to work it out... agree to try cranial osteopath. could be he hasnt quite got the hang of breastfeeding and hes just getting impatient with it. do you have a bf support group you can find in local area? try NCT helpline, they can help.

if hes rooting for the breast throughout, or often, its b/c he finds comfort in that. its a positive thing.

the help is out there, and the solution, your solution, is out there and probably easy to fix... but you do kind of need to fight your corner to get that help... pester HV, GP, NCT or any combination you like thereof, till you find your solution.

and keep using MN. theres fabulous people on here can help you. and many sympathetic ears.

welliemum · 07/12/2006 22:27

Aha, some experts cross-posted with me!

BahHunkBug · 07/12/2006 22:29

Also, how often is he feeding? Are you trying to space his feeds at all or feed him to a schedule? This is a classic growth spurt time, that's all - I remember both DSs were hard work when they were having one of these - just wanted feeding constantly.

One thing that kept me going in the early weeks was telling myself that I wasn't allowed to give up bfeeding in the middle of the night. I had to wait till daylight, because things always look better in the daytime.

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 07/12/2006 22:30

good suggestion welliemum

if you want mower, i have a sling i can send you, free of charge even just to try it out...

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 07/12/2006 22:31

good point bahhunker - the dark is not a time to be making any decisions

maryhadaharpsichordyeahlord · 07/12/2006 22:35

oooh yes a Sling, what a fab idea.
was this a difficult birth mower? how are you feeling? and how is ds?

lornaloo · 07/12/2006 22:40

My ds used to scream for hours every evening for about a month maybe abit longer when he was newborn. Me and ds used to drive around for hours trying to get him to sleep. I put it down to colic and just comforted him through it as I'd read that there isnt really anything you can do about colic. I have since read things that make me think he may have had baby heartburn or something like that. It definitly followed a pattern so something was causing it I just never found out what.
I think it would be worth looking into it. I wouldn't have thought changing to bottles would help. Try not to get too upset, I'm sure it will get better soon .

krimbokrackerskayzed · 07/12/2006 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwinkleInSantasEye · 07/12/2006 23:30

How long has your DS been doing this for Mower? Mine has always gone through phases of this and I never have got to the bottom of why. I must admit I resorted to mixed feeding for this reason and many others, which took the pressure off a bit. I know how awful it feels when you can't get your baby to accept your breast. Ditto what KZ said about reflux - definitely worth talking to someone about it. But it could just be a phase - I've read that crying is at its worst around 5-6 weeks and then normally improves. Probably not much comfort to you now though.

Original poster
mower · 08/12/2006 07:38

Thanks for all your replys. On a clear head this morning realise I don't want to stop breastfeeding (have posted another thread as well) just don't want it to upset ds so much.

Had to give him formula in the night as it seems he has just forgotten how to latch on now, which he took fine and was awake but happy after it. Then when he started routing for the breast again and I tried putting him on he just couldn't do it and ended up screaming again, just so upsetting.

Went to bf dropping yesterday and don't know if that was where he got so upset from as I don't think he wanted to feed but they kept wanting me to try and in the end the lady had to take him away from me to stop him crying, which of course made me cry.

I have a number for an ostepath which I will make an appointment for today.

Just hope ds feeds off me when he wakes.

OP posts:
moondog · 08/12/2006 08:29

Hi Mower.
Glad you're feeling a little better.
Sometimes if my babies cried and struggles like this,I sensed we were all too stimulataed so would go and lie down quietly in a dark room.
Then,after about 5 mins,I would open my top,roll towards him/her and allow them free access in a very calm unrushed way.

It helped a lot.

purplemonkeydasheranddancer · 08/12/2006 08:33

mower - have you tried different positions? I had a lot of trouble getting ds to latch on when he was tiny. ended up in the rugby ball hold and eventually just fed him lying down all the time. then once we were both more confident we were able to go back to the usual position.
also, my let down was unbelievable fast and my boobs were constantly rock hard with milk and that caused problems too. i would express a bit before i fed ds just to try to make it easier for him to latch on.
I feel for you, babe. it ain't easy, but it'll get easier.

Original poster
mower · 08/12/2006 08:48

Thanks, hes still asleep. Unbeleiveable, this time a few days ago I would have done anything to get him to sleep for so long!

Have booked in for the ostepath at 1030 today and will go to the bf drop in this afternoon.

Will then make the decision of what is best for ds whether to stop or not.

If I do stop and going to eat a spicy indian and drink wine tonight to cheer myself up as its my birthday today and at the mo really don't feel like celebrating!

OP posts:
mears · 08/12/2006 08:52

Mower - have posted on your other thread. This is a blip that you will be able to get through. No need to stop feeding to be able to have a spicy curry and a drink of wine. Probably the best thing you could do to help you relax. I have B/F 4 babies and never stopped eating anything I liked. It will do no harm to have some wine either.

oranges · 08/12/2006 08:53

Have indian food and some wine tonight anyway, even if you do continue to breastfeed. it really won't do him any harm. And happy birthday.

Gems86 · 08/12/2006 11:47

Have you tried nursing teats from boots? these are specially shaped nipple shields you can use when breastfeeding. the shape and texture of the nipple shield is the same as the teat on the bottles making the switch easier or so I've found...

moondog · 08/12/2006 15:05

How did it go Mower?
Good God,no need to think that b/feeding willl stop you from eating and drinking what you fancy.

I wouldn't have survived without lashings of wine!

dara · 08/12/2006 15:20

Oh yes, wine and nice food absolutely necessary while breastfeeding, I think!

maryhadaharpsichordyeahlord · 08/12/2006 15:32

blimey yes, wine while bf is a must imo .
I agree with others who say try different positions. I used to lie dd1 on her back and then like nxt to her and dangle the nipple over her mouth, so she was as restful as possible.
also, I used to soemtimes swaddle her, which she found calming, before trying to latch her on.