Breastfeeding Rant...

[artisanroast]

Hi,

I am generally in a bad mood today which isn't a great start, hence the rant...

I am a breastfeeding mother. I have had a little difficulty with breastfeeding, starting with having a prem baby who had expressed breast milk. We then achieved success with breastfeeding (hurrah!) and my daughter now happily feeds directly from me. I am feeling quite pleased with us and our progress.

However, this is my complaint... Any time it has become a little challenging e.g. the 6 week growth spurt or she has woken more often during the night or I haven't expressed enough to get a glass of wine (bad mummy for wanting one to start with!) I have lost count of the number of relatives, friends and health professionals who have told me there is no shame I giving her a formula bottle. I shouldn't feel bad if I have to bottle feed with formula. Formula will give you a break to get some sleep they say... And the examples continue...

Why is it that formula bottle feeding mothers feel they can pressurise to formula feed however God forbid if a breastfeeding mother pressurised a formula feeding mother to breastfeed?

Have the tables turned?

Even my husband got in on the act - but I think he was just after a less tired wife and possibly his old drinking buddy back!

The other thing that really pisses me off is if I gleefully accepted the advice to give an odd bottle because my milk supply 'may be a bit low' that would be a self fulfilling prophesy as the less my boobs are stimulated, the less they produce.

I chose to breastfeed to give my baby good nutrition and pass my immunity to them via my breast milk. I am quite determined that I will breastfeed or give my baby expressed breast milk even if it near kills me doing it!

So, rant over but...

Please if you bottle feed don't tell me to do the same.

captain - the downsides are:

• the cost in staff time and parents' time in coming to the appointment
• the risk some parents may not wish to have it done, and so decide to stop breastfeeding rather than have something done they have been told is necessary
• the risk it doesn't work
• the risk of problems being ascribed to tongue tie when other things may be causing the symptoms

Yes, tongue tie is a real problem. But we simply don't know how often to treat it, and whether some babies would be just fine without actual treatment....and we still don't know the best way to treat it.

I am totally in favour of tongue tie being looked for if a mother has problems, and in favour of her getting easily accessible treatment - just not in favour of routine treatment early on, at least not until we have more info.

Pre formula though the midwives used to snip the tie shortly after birth. So I'm not buying into this unnecessary waste of time and resource. Presumably if all midwives were trained properly to spot tongue tie this could happen again? And if didn't work what has been lost compared to the potential gain?

Also if you did correct after birth then there is not really any opportunity for another problem being ascribed to tongue tie.

Myth about the midwives doing it pre formula, though, captain, sorry.

Maybe some did.

It was never routine.

I had quite a few disheartening comments about bf from health care professionals but the most hurtful where DH's attitude. He believed some stuff which was outright wrong, e.g. ff babies sleep better and he felt that I brought my exhaustion from looking after Dd onto myself by insisting on bfing her. DD was a high needs baby and hard work, she was a poor sleeper which is always tough but also her bf habits were tiring, e.g. she fed often and slowly, she fed for comfort, she fed to sleep, etc. DH attributed all those characteristics to bf and had this theory that had I stopped early on she would have become more independent and easy going. I always thought the opposite, that is that bf was a comfort to her and, in part, a coping strategy for her needs.

If you are interested in my two DC 'controlled study' DS is completely different. He bfs fast and can go a lot longer without, does not comfort feed, was happy to swap bf for solids, can be put to sleep without the breast, etc. I didn't do anything different with him and even felt a bit insulted my breasts were not the magic cure-all for him; just two completely different characters from birth.

Hi

tiktok - love it!!! I will try to feel less guilty about my odd glass of wine (or 2!) I also agree with your comment 'what's best for us'.

Also the link makes for interesting reading. I do enjoy a good journal article haha!!!

I had bought a pregnancy and b'feeding nutrition book aimed at hcps which was suggesting weaning before 6 months, but after 4 months. It also discussed potential benefits of breast milk to reduce the risk of food allergies such as Coeliac Disease. This is quite a big motivator for me as DH is Coeliac.

rudolph I find it very disappointing that you were advised to default to formula. I believe that if you follow a lactose free diet yourself you can continue to breastfeed a milk intolerant baby.

Burrito I've decided to go to a bfing support group tomorrow. I was going to go last week but it was raining! haha!!! It was a bit odd that a few midwives thought I was doing my top-ups with formula. I had to explain it was EBM. My glass of wine in the evening keeps me sane sometimes!

It's good to know I'm not the only Mum that enjoys loves a glass of wine to relax!

jimijack I love it!!! I fucking love it!!! My daughter has fallen asleep at the breast tonight and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Also, just curious but was anyone advised to mix (in the same bottle) formula and expressed breast milk as a way of continuing to provide some breast milk if they were keen to breastfeed but unable due to latch/supply/hungry baby etc etc...

Overall I would like to echo what has been said though... Whether a mother breastfeeds, expresses breast milk to feed, formula feeds or does a combination it MUST be what that mother feels is best for her and her baby. We all do what we feel is best for us and nobody should be criticised for that. Becoming/being a Mum is wonderful but it is also stressful and exhausting so Mums need to be supported and asked what they want.

thanks for your support ladies

xx

Answering your question re mixing the formula and breast milk. I just transitioned my DS (4.5 months) fully to formula this week. Previously I'd been mix feeding. I mixed the expressed milk and formula together half and half, and then more and more formula etc. I wasn't advised per se to do this, it just seemed to make sense. I'm enjoying the freedom from the pump, as it was driving me mad!

I have nothing useful to add except that I have BF after 3 glasses of wine on a number of occasions and DD did not appear drunk afterwards, and, jimijack, you are my new hero and I am memorising your "too long in the tooth" paragraph for future reference.

DD is 18 months, DH's family are quietly shocked that I still feed her, and they don't even know yet that I'm going to let her self-wean WHENEVER! Mwah hahahahaha!

I don't see any reason why you couldn't mix BM and FM but it wouldn't make much sense to do so, especially if you have difficulty expressing, because the breastmilk is then "contaminated" by the formula and must be discarded after 24 hours whereas breastmilk stored alone can be kept in a fridge for a week or frozen for up to six months. Same reason as to if you express over multiple sessions, it's best to store in individual bags rather than adding to the same bottle (because the milk can only be kept for 7 days from the date of the first pumping even if later pumpings were added on subsequent days).

I can see it would make sense to combine immediately before a feed if you wanted to mask the taste for example.