I know I'm being stupid, but I just need to get it out there.
DD is 28 week and a terrible sleeper. Since we moved her into her own room 10 days ago she has at least stopped having periods of being wide awake between 2-5am.
She is however, up at 22:00, 12:00, 02:00, 4:00 and awake for the day from 6. Each time she wakes she now has a 10 minute breast feed and dozes back off.
I'm just at my wits end with exhaustion, especially as I'm now working again (a few hours a day from home around her sleeping).
I've decided to give her a breast feed for bed time a 7oz formula dream feed when I go up and any wake up calls in the night will be met with a bottle. I want to teach her that night time waking doesn't mean snuggling up to the breast.
I'm being stupidly hard on myself about it. I wanted to only give her breast milk until she was a year so I'm (unnecessarily) feeling like I've failed in doing so.
I've tried just giving her her dummy, but she's not falling for it. Sleeping in our room/bed is out of the question as that seemed to have caused her early hours wakefulness. I offer her the breast plenty during the day and always before a meal (BLW) and I'm pretty certain she's not overfilling on empty calories. I can't pump enough milk for a decent size bottle as I can only seem to express 1oz in a 45 min session using both breasts.
My partner is just useless and lazy where it involves him sacrificing any sleep or having to get out of bed. I've not had a single lay in the whole time she has been born and during his paternity leave he would stay in bed until 10/11 everyday (just to give an example of his chronic lazyitis cuntyness leaving me to contend with getting two children ready and leaving for the school run every day. So now I'm doing all night, all child care, all housework, all cooking and working.
I feel so stupid that I feel like this. There is nothing wrong with formula and I am in no way bashing it. I'm just upset that I set a personal goal and am failing half way through.