First of all, I know I will be going back when DD is only 18 weeks old, but needs must, I'm the main breadwinner, I've made my peace with it. The issue is that I'm not great at expressing, I find it uncomfortable and stressful and I don't want to waste precious mat leave stressing about it (not that I have time to anyway, I have other DCs and a velcro baby). I will be expressing when I become engorged after my return to work, and possibly at lunchtime, but up until then I won't be, so can't build up a store.
DD was quite slow to gain weight, ended up being readmitted twice due to losing weight, but is now, although on the bottom centile, gaining slowly but steadily. She has just reached 8lb 4oz at 10 weeks old! I was initially not keen to top up with formula, but when she reached 6 weeks and was so tiny still I decided that one bottle a day might be a good thing, and coincidentally I had a dentist app, so gave eldest DD, 18, a bottle of Aptamil for baby and went. Baby refused the bottle, but I thought perhaps elder DD was too quick to give up or baby didn't like Aptamil, and forgot about it for a while as she was gaining weight on HV's target.
Fast forward to now, another dentist app, thought I'd try her myself on Cow and Gate in case she still wouldn't take it, as elder DD is happy to sit in waiting room with her while I have my filling if that's the case, so I'm away only a few minutes. Baby gagged at the taste and refused the milk, actually getting really upset in the process (one of those heartbreaking, sad cries). Obviously it's not a problem for today, or until January, but I'm now desperately sad about leaving her hungry and sad, whereas before I was ok with leaving her with our lovely CM.
Any advice, please? Is there a magical milk I haven't tried? Not to drip feed, we are waiting for a paed appointment about her poor weight gain and smelly wind, HV wants to keep an eye. All metabolic disorders were tested for in hospital. By the way, it's not the bottle itself that's the issue, as she had expressed bm in the hospital, and they sent me home with a few of their bottles to use if I wanted to pump. She guzzled down the bm in the bottle.