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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I can't help but feel slighty shocked...

21 replies

belgo · 04/12/2006 10:16

I thought that nothing would shock me with regards to breastfeeding. But two things happened this weekend that I'm not sure how I feel about:

I visited a friend who bf her new born baby underneath what can only be described as a 'tent' to maintain her 'modesty' - this in her own home! I can understand using one of these shawls if she was in public, but in your own home?

A friend of mine got married recently, wearing white, in a catholic church. Whilst saying her vows, in her wedding dress, at the altar, she bf her one year old little girl. Good on her! I wonder what the Pope would think?

OP posts:

beansprout · 04/12/2006 10:20

I probably felt the most self conscious when ds was really tiny, so I can understand that. Good on your friend for b/f in church though!

Maybe we will live in a world when feeding our children isn't shocking!

JsSanta · 04/12/2006 12:07

I felt most embarassed when ds was tiny and she probaly used the shawl because you were there.

I know I found bfeeding in front of people I knew well even worse than in front of strangers. I did it anyway but was always incredibly uncomfortable doing it. Well meaning joky comments about how silly it was to cover myself from friends made me feel even more embarassed and uncomfortable at the time. I think any way she chooses to breastfed is just fine as long as she does it

As for wedding - How did she manage to get the dress off? or was it specially designed .

I think that breastfeeding in church is fine though I personally wouldn't have wanted to bfeed a 1 year old in the middle of my marriage vows, mostly because I'd see that as moment for dh and me and ds would have just had to wait - at 1 year old I would have thought he could wait a while - no problem with her doing it though.

twelvedaysofchristmas · 04/12/2006 12:18

Re: The tent. Was your friend conscious of you being there I wonder? Does she use it all the time? Some people just don't like getting their boobs out in front of anyone, even people they know.

The church thing... Erm... I have BF in lots of odd places, but I think even I would have been shocked. Not becuase she was breastfeeding in church, but because it was in the middle of her vows. Takes away from the moment a bit, no?

Each to their own I suppose.

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 04/12/2006 12:20

Oh, lord - has she a hooter hider contraption?!

And good on your friend for bfeeding at the altar! Jesus was bfed, you know

hotmulledwinemama · 04/12/2006 12:26

Bf when doing her vows but also respect!

Hunker - I don't believe that one of the 3 Kings was employed by Nestle - so bf Jesus must have been! Who helped Mary with her latch?

Original poster

belgo · 04/12/2006 12:35

Yes , she must have used the shawl because I was there. I just thought it made her look more conspicious(sp?), not less.

My friend the bf bride had designed and made her own wedding dress, presumably with bf in mind, and she looked great. She also made a ring sling to match the dress so she could carry her dd whilst dancing with her dh at her reception, and still look very glamourous.

OP posts:

jurathernothavesprouts · 04/12/2006 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twelvedaysofchristmas · 04/12/2006 12:40

Wow, the dress and sling thing. That is very impressive.

PinkTinsel · 04/12/2006 12:44

good for her for having the guts to do it but i'd have made my 1 year old wait tbh! my vows will be a special moment between me and dp, surely she could have waited 10 mins til the 'i do's' were over?

those baby tent things make me laugh, i was nervous at first too but i just used my clothes to hide my boobs, not covered uo my baby!

Original poster

belgo · 04/12/2006 12:49

I wonder which would spoil the moment more - bf while getting married or having the baby carry on crying?

At the last wedding I went to, the children of the bride and groom were looked after by the grandparents, and were barely involved in the wedding at all.

OP posts:

PinkTinsel · 04/12/2006 12:55

suppose it depends on the kid, i'm looking at it from the perspective of my dd who didn't look for daytime feeds at that age and i'd want to be a bitb selfish too aboutthe vows think its great she did it though and i love the sound of the sling to match the dress!

hotmulledwinemama · 04/12/2006 12:58

I'm going to have to relay the story of the bf bride to my mum. I'm getting married at the end of next year and dd2 will be nearly 2. My mum will have absolute kittens if she thinks that there is a possibility that I will still be bf then - and on the 'special day'!

moondog · 04/12/2006 12:59

Good on the bride,and lets hope your friend gets a bit more confident.

Original poster

belgo · 04/12/2006 13:15

hotmulledwinemama - it would have absolutely shocked my mum too!

OP posts:

Bugsy2 · 04/12/2006 13:37

Don't know what the Pope would think, but I think that shows that she wasn't really thinking about her vows. I can't believe that it wasn't possible for the one year old to wait for just a few mins until the most solemn & meaningful part of the ceremony was finished.
Each to their own, but to me that seems as unnecessary as the poor woman wearing a tent to bf in her own home!!

Pitchounette · 04/12/2006 14:45

Message withdrawn

WeaselMum · 04/12/2006 14:59

I'm shocked that the bride was wearing white...

Joannie2 · 04/12/2006 16:52

I have no problem with bfing DS during mass (and I imagine the Pope/church would be all for it). That being said, no way would I have bf during my wedding if I had had ds then - all that ferfuffle while trying to look elegant.

odbod · 07/12/2006 13:05

I bf in church regularly (vicar asked me after ds was born if I was bf and if I was was welcome to bf in church and if any one had a problem with it I was to send them over to him - only moment when ds has drawn attention to it is burping loudly during prayers, think crying child would be far more annoying) even so v shocked at bf bride! seems just as bad as changing a nappy when saying vows but ultimate respect for doing what she wanted - too often people forget its their wedding and do what makes everyone else happy!

juuule · 07/12/2006 16:36

I can understand the 'tent' thing. I did something similar for a few weeks with my first baby. I think it's quite sweet and I'm sure she'll get over it in a couple of months.
The bf-ing bride seems more like she was wanting to make a statement. If the baby was very young and couldn't last very long without a feed then I might be able to understand it more. I bf my baby on the front bench in church when she was 6weeks old and being baptised. But at one year old mine would have been able to go a few hours between feeds (they would have been able to last through an hours wedding ceremony). Might have been a bit restless but surely there would have been a willing relative to look after the baby. Surely if you take your wedding vows seriously you wouldn't want something to take anything away from that. Isn't it a special time when you and your husband publicly declare your love and commitment to each other. So, I for one, can't understand why she would have opted to do that at such a time. For me it was unnecessary and inappropriate. Obviously, important to her though.

KathyMCMLXXII · 08/12/2006 19:06

What a great story about the bf bride.
I was interested to read in 'Lark Rise to Candleford' (reminiscences of a Victorian village) there's a reference to someone bf in church, as if it's perfectly normal - seems we are more prudish than the Victorians on this one.

Is your tent friend American, Belgo? I know two people who bf under tents and they both are.

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