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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

10 month old not interested in breast, is it time to stop bf? tiktok??

16 replies

notnigella · 28/11/2006 19:35

My 10 mo ds doesnt seem interested in the breast any more, but i dont know if he really isnt interested or if its just an or stage thing. Until 2 weeks ago I was feeding him three times a day - morning, mid-aternoon and bedtime. I have now dropped the mid-afternoon feed as he didn't want anything at all for over a week, but I didn't feel too bad about it because i know that they drop this feed somewhere between 9-12 months. But now he seems less interested in morning and evening feeds too. He often bites, and when I tell him no he thinks its a game and just smiles at me adorably. And he sometimes blows raspberries. And now it seems that he doesnt really want to comfort of suckling either, as he takes himself off the boob at bedtime, and sucks his thumb. Mornings are probably worse because he's just so energetic, and even feeding him in his room in the semi-dark doesnt seem to help much. When he does feed, its for 2-3 mins each breast so I'm worried that he isn't getting enough milk, and that if I gave him bottles at least I'd know how much milk he was taking. I really don't want to stop bf, and am happy to persevere if this is normal behaviour, but I'm not sure he's getting enough milk from me.
Hoping for some advice from anyone who has been through something similar, or tiktok, any ideas?

OP posts:

tiktok · 28/11/2006 19:54

notnigella, this is v. young for self-weaning, but it does happen sometimes when the mum has taken the lead....baby starts to hasten the process.

Not sure where you heard that babies drop a feed in the afternoon at 9-12 months....this is a bottle feeding 'thing' not a bf thing! There is no specified pattern or order to dropping feeds, and it is ok to continue feeding as often as you like as long as you like 3 times a day isn't that often, really.

To help your baby back to the breast , how about going at his pace, and responding to him and offering it more in a gentle, casual way, without making it into a struggle?

Babies can get quite a lot in 2-3 mins when they are expert.

No need to offer bottles - give him a good chance to change his mind

Original poster

notnigella · 28/11/2006 20:02

thanks tiktok. i read it in the unmentionable....
occassionally he pulls at my shirt like he wants it (usually when my chest is in front of him on the changing table) and i always feed him when he wants, but he has never been a particularly hungry baby so i dont know how else i can respond to him if he doesnt seem to want / need it? as far as he's concerned, i think / hope that there is no struggle as i have been v keen not to make one. i now allow about half an hour in bed together for th emorning feed, and as long as he wants until he falls asleep in the evening. maybe 2 - 3 mins each side is all he wants, and i should just relax and go with him, but it doesnt seem much for his age?

OP posts:

honneybunny · 30/11/2006 21:24

Hi Notnigella, could he be teething? My ds2 (11.5mo and so far only two bottom teeth) is doing the same thing atm: not drinking/eating much and when he is having a feed he smiles at me and then bites down v.hard. This evening bedtime was one big drama! He was obviously in pain (screaming and crying) and using my nipples as a teether (outch!)
Re. your ds welf-weaning. Like tiktok i think 10mo is a little young for that. I read somewhere (think it was Kellymom) that babies generally don't self-wean until 18-24mo. I can only speak from my own experience with ds1, whom I breastfed until 27mo (and then he self-weaned, but still with a little pressure from me,as by that time i was tandemfeeding ds1 and ds2 and getting exhausted).
Anyway, good luck, and i hope your ds will start drinking normally again.

FrannyandZooey · 30/11/2006 21:35

Hi NotNigella, 10 months is a classic age for a nursing strike or just general (temporary) disinterest in the breast

If you don't want to stop breastfeeding (and I would back you up with that, there are so many advantages to continuing now that you have got through the tricky early months), I would try the suggestions on kellymom and see if things improve in a month or so.

My son refused the breast altogether for a scary period when he was around this age, but we persevered and he is now a very enthusiastic (and old ) breastfeeder. I wouldn't give bottles either or worry about his intake unless it continues for several weeks or his weight drops.

One of the classic things going on around a period of a child's refusing to breastfeed is the mum having suddenly got rather busy. Have you taken on a lot lately or not had quite so much time for him for whatever reason? Not trying to say it is your 'fault' but I found this to be true for me when ds was refusing to feed. When things settled down and I focused on him more, we got back to normal.

Hope this helps and take care of yourself during this time - as well as possible infections / blockages from suddenly reducing the amount you are feeding, there are emotional and hormonal implications for you, so be gentle with yourself too

moondog · 30/11/2006 22:23

NN,my ds lost interest at this age,which was odd as I was a sahm and his sister had fed for 30 mths.
He did the same sweet smiling and rasberry blowing.

I kept offereing but it became obvious he wasn't interested any more which was a bit sad but hey,his choice.

I never bothered/bother with milk of any sort.
We eat lots of plain yoghurt and cheese and they have milk on cereal occasionally.

PinkTinsel · 30/11/2006 22:31

could you be pregnant?

because my dd did the exact same thing at that age and gradually self weaned by just under 12 months. turned out when i did the dates after realisation had dawned that her begininning to wean herself coincided with me getting pregnant with ds, d'oh! took me til 10 weeks to even notice i was ptegnant though so didn't realise at the time why she was doing it

tutu100 · 30/11/2006 23:02

My son self weaned at 7 1/2 months. Looking back it could just of been a phase, but because I was worried he wasn't getting enough milk I began giving him formula because he kept refusing the breast. However he didn't really want the formula either. So until he was a year old and I switched to cows milk he didn't ever drink much milk. My HV said that as long as he was getting calcium from other sources e.g. yogghurt, cheese cereals etc and was eating a varied diet then not to worry. I would keep persevering and see what happens. Don't worry about the length of feeds though I always found my milk flowed faster in the first few minutes and then was just a regular drip after that so he is probably getting more milk than you think.

Cappuccino · 30/11/2006 23:16

I read a lot about this when dd was 10 months and going through the same thing

I found an article on kellymom I think - saying that it was just a phase which was often mistaken for self-weaning, and that 'don't offer, don't refuse' was a weaning method. it also said that babies feed quicker and your boobs get softer around this time, so many mothers thought that it was over when it didn't have to be

I just kept offering. dd got over it and is still feeding at 22 ms

good luck

Cappuccino · 30/11/2006 23:17

oh FrannyandZooey has already been on with kellymom and provided a link

swot

FrannyandZooey · 01/12/2006 08:00

littlemisspiggy · 01/12/2006 10:21

Hi, Could you try expressing a couple of times a day to keep up your supply and feed him the breastmilk in a bottle(you can see how much he takes). I am doing this because I am back at work but didn't want to stop breastfeeding having made so much effort to get it going in the first place. At least I know my baby is still getting the benefits of bm even if we don't get as many cuddly feeds.

Original poster

notnigella · 01/12/2006 14:30

thank you all so much for your comments and support. really want to continue until at least 12 months, and from all your comments am now failry sure that this is just a stage and we can get through it. Firstly, OMG - I'm fairly sure i'm not pregnant, hope not anyway. (wld be the immaculate coneption ;-). And haven't become any busier lately either, in fact am about to be made redundant at the end of my maternity leave and am so gutted - not :-))))))). I am still persevering for the moment, despite the chewed boobs. After tiktoks advice i have gone back to offering the boob after his nap mid afternoon but he still isnt interested so i think that one is gone now. yesterday was a lovely day, he fed for approx 6 mins each side in the morning, but he woke unusually early and we had bed cuddles in the dark so he was probably just sucking a lot. and after a few nips last night he had about 3 - 4 mins each side. then this morning, back to 2 - 3 mins each boob again. guess somedays will be better than others. my boobs do feel softer and floppier so i thought there wasnt much milk, but maybe thats just a stage thing for mums as well as babies. i remembered that when he was sick last week he wouldnt take any milk at bedtime and i woke in the middle of the night with melons like in the eary days and had to express, so that reassured me that there must be milk there. LMP, i expressed a bottle for dp to give late feed for 6 months and really dont want to go back there again. since we dropped the afternoon feed i give him a bit of cheese and yoghurt with his tea to keep his calcium up.
Isnt MN fab??!! Off to kellymoms now.

OP posts:

Original poster

notnigella · 01/12/2006 19:17

just in case anyone is interested, we had a lovely long feed this evening and i think i know why ;-) my ds seems to be dropping his afternoon nap, he didnt have one yesterday or today, despite me putting him down in his cot. and both days we have had feeds like we used to, so i think it must be a distraction thing. after 13 hours sleep he must be ready to bounce off the walls in the morning so will only settle for a minute or so at the time, while when he is more sleepy in the evening without a nap he is happy to linger :-)

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 01/12/2006 19:25

hi notnigella I am interested not seen the thread before but good luck with persevering.
HC xx

CantWaitForTheSnow · 01/12/2006 19:26

Glad to hear you had a better day.

FrannyandZooey · 01/12/2006 20:50

Ah that is good to hear notnigella, I think your perseverance will pay off and things will setlle down in a while. If you continue you may be laughing ruefully in a few months at the thought of only feeding for a couple of minutes a day - I know when my son was about 18 months I could not sit down without having him clamped on to my breast

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