DD 9mo EBF and I'm back to work - advice please

[Pandasandmonkeys]

DD is 9 mo and I'm returning to work in 2 weeks on a part time basis: 2 full days and 2 mornings.

DD has been EBF (& BLW from 6mo) and had completely refused all bottles, expressed milk, all types of formula... everything, since birth.

I have tried every method suggested by HV's, that I've read, from the GP, she just won't do it.

I must return to work (if only mortgages paid themselves) and am extremely stressed about her feeding situation. I have tried getting her to take milk from a sippy cup but she wont do that either, only water.

On the full days that I'm working I've made arrangements for her to be brought to me during my lunch break to be fed.

However, this will still mean going 5-6 hours without a feed. The same time as the days I'm working mornings only. So 4 days a week she will be without milk for 5-6 hours at a time.

Is this completely unreasonable?

She eats very well (3meals plus snacks) and is a big girl for her age.

I'm trying to remember what DD was like with feeds at that age but I do think it was circa 9 months that I stopped pumping at work.

I was doing mornings only but had been expressing for one mid-morning bottle. I think I dropped it at 9 months so she fed at 7 before brekkie and then had fruit and yoghurt with a drink of water around 11 and then BF again when I was home at 2ish with light lunch. So that was 6 hours or so sans breastmilk.

I suppose it depends how frequently she usually BFs during the day and how well she takes solids.

FWIW mine was fine with solids but still BF 2 hourly until the 9/10 month mark so I reckon if we could do it you guys should manage!

She might end up reverse cycling and having more BFs in the evening/at night on the days you work, but if she's a good solid eater (as she seems to be) I'd say she'll get herself into a routine that works for her and all will be fine.

I did a morning feed then she would have sippy cups at nursery then a feed after nursery 8 hours later.
This went on until she was almost 2.3 months.
She is on solids now and if she can drink water she will be fine.

This went on until she was 2 years and three months!
Don't be too stressed!

She would be okay going all day without a feed (although if it's easy enough for you to feed at lunchtime I would do that until she's 12 months in your shoes).

If she went a full day she might reverse cycle and/or eat/drink more for her carer. In all likelihood after a few days she'd drink more from the sippy cup but she wouldn't need a lot of liquid and water is fine she doesn't need milk if she has free access to BM the rest of the day.

DS was ebf and a total bottle refuser. He went to nursery 4 full days at 8 months. I'd send him with bottles each day but he never took more than 1 fl oz and often not that. He was absolutely fine. He did, however, feed a lot overnight.

Thanks for the quick replies.

She is a good eater, but can be a bit fussy with people she doesn't know well. She's at a nursery for the two mornings and with family for the 2 full days who will be driving her to me for midday feeds until she's 1.

She's been a difficult baby from day 1 and leaving her goes against my every instinct but I have no choice.

My work is only 10 minutes away from the nursery so I can get to her if need be, but not ideal

It went against my every instinct to go back to work too, Panda. True it was PT, but DD was only 4 months old! I was in bits over it.

But... I was amazed by how well DD adapted and tbh I have ended up relishing my "grown-up" time at work. It's like a little sanctuary even when it's hectic there.

I feel like a better mum when I get home too because I'm so excited to see DD and make sure we make the most of our time and have loads of fun together.

Just give it some time. She may really surprise you, and you may well be surprised at the benefits for you too.

It's a tough old time preparing for it though so be kind to yourself x

My DS was exactly like this (he's now almost 1 and went FT at the childminder 2 months ago). For the first few days he refused any liquid other than sips of water but now he happily takes formula from a sippy cup. Your DD will be ok, you'll both miss each other dearly but she will thrive on the experiences she gets at nursery. Big hugs - back to work is awful for everyone but it will be ok!

Thank you. Leaving DS two years ago was rough going and I nearly walked out many times to be at home with him, that was full time at 6.5 mo. But he'd take bottles and was a lovely chilled out baby so he was much easier to leave as i knew he'd be fine. This time around with Dd is awful as she seems to need me more that he ever did; she's a very clingy and demanding little lady.

My Dd1 was also a bottle and milk refuser. She only ever bf and when she went to nursery only drank water. I worked 4 days full-time and she typically fed at 6.30-7am, 6pm, 7.30pm, 11.30pm and 3am when I first returned at 10 months. She then reduced to 3 feeds by about 12 months and then 2 feeds. We gave up bf at 15 months when she started sleeping through.

She wasn't a big baby and she was a pretty fussy eater out of the home, but was completely fine and is a happy, healthy boisterous 6 yo today.

Good luck!

My DD was 10 months when I went back to work full time- she was also a bottle refuser, refused all milk from any cup and barely ate. She was also very clingy. As you can imagine I was beside myself with anxiety but we all coped. My husband took my first week off to help her settle, and my mother came to stay for the second week. She started eating and drank water in the nursery.

Sugarandsalt, that sounds really awful for you all, so pleased that she started eating and drinking after a short while. At least I know dd will eat x

If she eats she will be fine, and she will eat if she's hungry. There's a breastfeeding counsellor who works in the nursery, she was really brilliant and reassuring when dd started. She kept saying worst case scenario she'd feed more at night, but in her experience once babies get used to new people they either start eating or taking milk. She also gave me great advice on dealing with engorgement (as you can imagine the first week back was rough!) and she actually settled brilliantly and within a month was smiling and waving bye at drop off! Now at 16 months she runs to her keyworker every morning for a cuddle and loves all the staff.

Just to update, she did brilliantly at nursery and with nanny/daddy ????
Still refused the milk but had good snacks and lots of water. Slept in her cot without a fuss and nursery staff described her as a model baby!! Yay!