Baby confused?

[MissTwister]

I've asked as few things here so apologies but I have another issue I'm hoping people can help with.

My 7wo daughter likes to be held a lot, as babies do, but when I hold her she seems to get confused and constantly thinks she wants food. As soon as I pick her up she is frantically head butting my breast and trying to shuffle down to them. This sets off a feeding/crying cycle that can last all day where she feeds for 4-5 minutes then gets annoyed, stops, cries, wants food etc.

I know she's not hungry because at weekends when my husband holds her lots or when my mum comes to help she goes 2-3 hours between feeds and then when she does she's calmer and has a proper 15 minute feed instead of the 4-5 minutes at other times.

I know babies like breasts for comfort, but her feeling like she constantly wants to feed doesn't seem to make her happy from her behaviour. And it doesn't make me happy as my days when I am with her are really really tough. It's an all round happier baby and nicer day when someone else holds her and she doesn't try and eat constantly - which is horrible and sad.....any tips for coping with this?

Misstwister, can understand why this feels such hard work :(

But nothing you say is unusual or indicative of a problem.

Breastfeeding is part of the relationship you share with your dd. it's more than satisfaction of hunger, and it's more than comfort. For her, it is a lovely and loving experience which she associates with you (and she's more than capable of knowing it does not apply to her dad or her grandmother! It's YOU!)

It's fine to respond to this with feeding. When she stops after four or five mins and squirms and fusses, she can have the other side. And the first side again after she comes off after the second, if needs be.

It's worth trying this for a day or so. It's not worth fighting it. Your baby prob wants you super close at the moment. It will not be this intense for long.

If she is still the same after a couple of days, post again.

Thanks Tiktok - this makes sense. It just seems to me that she's not that happy on the breast sometimes as she squirms and squeals and gets so frustrated. I feel like it's not the lovely time she's meant to be having...

Occasional squeals and squirms and signs of frustration happen to all babies some of the time, though....if she is like this all the time, it might be something you could get investigated, but if it's only some of the time, she'll almost certainly grow out of it as she gets a bit older.

Have you got high expectations of what it 'should' be like? Do you feel you need more confidence? Have you tried going to a bf support group - there are other mothers and babies there and you'd probably see that there's a huge range of behaviours and experiences, and this might help.