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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How to keep up supply when older child only feeds once a day or so?

19 replies

FrannyandZooey · 23/11/2006 18:08

I am happy to keep going with breastfeeding for the time being as ds wants to carry on, but now he is only having a short feed once or twice a day, or even missing a day or two, he often complains that there is not much milk there, or that there is none there.

Is there any way other than expressing that I can increase my supply for the times when he does want it? Is it going to run out at some point unless I feed him more often? I know it sounds like an easy way to stop the whole feeding thing, but I would rather it was his decision as I think he would be very distressed if one day, without warning there was just no more milk

OP posts:

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 23/11/2006 20:31

Hopeful bump?

I do appreciate this is a slightly odd type of problem but maybe someone will know

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dinosaur · 23/11/2006 20:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

rickshaw · 23/11/2006 20:51

I have been wondering the same thing recently, so I don't have any answers but will watch this thread with interest!

Does it maybe depend on why they still want to feed, do you think? My dd is now 18 months and has occasional bfs but is largely now on cows milk (only in the mornings and before bed - never during the day because she doesn't want it then). I think that the cows milk is there for nutrition and the bfs are there for comfort/bonding/snuggly time. So maybe it doesn't matter if she gets very little milk out of it, because that's not the point anymore. So long as there's a tiny bit there, I figure she can still get the other things iyswim.

But I think your ds might be older & I don't know the circumstances & whether he has another milk source etc.

3andnomore · 23/11/2006 21:09

Hm...how old is your lil one?Just wondering, as on that extendet BF programme it was mentioned that at one point a child will "loose" the correct suckingtechnique and that that is part of the natural weaning process!
I was always under the impression that, with an older child keeping the supply up is not much of an issue as your milk is produced as and when, iykwim...maybe the let down is slower, and the milkflow is slower and maybe your lil one just is gettinga bit lazy to really go for it!
Must say, the longest I bf'ed was only to 13 month....

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 23/11/2006 21:40

Oh eek, 3andnomore you could be right...he is 3.7, maybe it is his technique that's changing

Erm....yes he does have milk from a cup, etc, he doesn't need breastfeeding...except that he does still need it, in that it is still an important part of his life and he gets a great deal from it

Yes I also thought milk was just produced on demand, but ds often says "it is not coming" or "there is no more left!" Sometimes he perseveres and gets some more, sometimes he gives up in disgust. It makes me feel a little inadequate to tell the truth

Thanks also Dino and rickshaw for your support.

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beartime · 23/11/2006 21:45

I've read in a couple of places that many women have to keep up 3 or 4 feeds a day in order to maintain their milk supply - and I found when I dropped the third and went to two my supply dropped dramatically.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 23/11/2006 22:07

Oh dear I don't know what to do....think I will ring my LLL leader at the weekend and see what she advises

I know it sounds insane to be worried about keeping up a milk supply for a nearly 4 year old, but it means a lot to him and I want him to be able to stop when he is ready, not have it suddenly disappear one day

I don't think it will be that long before he weans himself, but I would rather he could wait until he feels he no longer needs it

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dinosaur · 23/11/2006 22:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

3andnomore · 23/11/2006 22:15

Aww...and doesn't sound insane at all...my ys, and last child, has not bf'ed in over a year, and I still miss that...but it would be a tupid reason to have another Baby for..i.e.it would be for my sake not the childrens sake!
Definately get in touch with your LLL leader! It is a big step!

rickshaw · 23/11/2006 22:18

I've no more thoughts, but would be interested in what your LLL leader says. I sometimes ask my dd if there's milk there & she says yes, but she's obviously findng it easier/quicker to get milk from the beaker. I feel sad at the thought of her giving up in frustration rather than through feeling that she doesn't want it anymore etc. But I doubt I'll get to her being 3.7 at the rate we're going, so I'm very impressed.

I hope you don't think I was inferring that your ds didn't need bf anymore btw - I totally agree with your attitude to "needs". I think I was only trying to say (with severe sleep deprivation and 2 big glasses of wine!) that I wasn't sure if it mattered how much milk your ds was getting as long as he was still able to enjoy the experience. But it seems as though he doesn't enjoy the experience as much if the milk isn't coming so I see the dilemma.

Sorry to add more useless waffle, but I'd really be interested to hear what other advice you get.

hunkermunker · 23/11/2006 22:23

It's not insane, my lovely - it's a large part of the relationship you have with DS. You have known him for nearly four years and for most of that time not gone longer than a few hours without bfeeding him - so it's hard to imagine a point where you won't, for him and for you.

This may be the end of bfeeding DS, or it may be that he will redouble his interest for a bit and your supply will increase again naturally.

Do you talk to him about stopping bfeeding ever or does he get upset? I don't mean in a "you must stop" way, I mean in a "one day you won't bfeed any more, what do you think that will be like and what could we do instead" sort of way - talk about having a bath together, or a lovely cuddle?

I bet Spidermama would have some tips.

Feel for you, sweetheart x x x x

Greensleeves · 23/11/2006 22:28

Of course you don't want it to end on a sour note (pardon the pun, arf arf ) after persevering through the hard bits, and getting so close to a happy self-weaning conclusion - it's totally understandable. I haven't a clue what you can do about it though.

I agree with Hunker about having gentle chats with him about things to do instead when it does reach its natural conclusion - do you think that would help? Has he said anything about stopping or wanting to carry on?

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 24/11/2006 08:15

Mmm, lots of interesting (and kind) thoughts, thank you.

I think he is beginning to start to think about getting ready to wean, IYSWIM. We have never pressure him, but he seems to have got the idea that he is getting too old - he pretends to be a baby most of the time now when he is feeding and says "This baby wants his milk" etc. I have said to him "One day when you are older you won't need milk anymore..." He just looks at me sceptically!

It's fine rickshaw I did know what you meant - and no I'm not worried about the quantity he is getting, but getting the actual milk seems to be important to him as well as the rest of it. I have explained to him in fact how the supply thing works, and sometimes he says "I am having a lot now so there will be lots for tomorrow"

I think he would probably feed more often and for longer, if I encouraged him, but I have been playing my own part in the weaning process and we have gradually got to this point where we just have a short feed lying down in his bed once or twice a day, then when I have had enough I say "ok, it's time for a snuggle now". I don't actually enjoy the sensation any more - it annoys me to go on for long - so this is my way of continuing it without hating it. This is probably what has caused my supply to plummet, I suppose.

His dad looked after him quite a lot at the weekend and after that he did forget to ask, one day when I was here, so we just had a cuddle. I expect as time goes by he will forget more and more often, and we will just be having the cuddle and not the milk.

I'll post again after I have spoken to my LLL leader and tell you what she advised. Often I find she doesn't in fact advise me as such, but somehow talking to her helps me to accept things the way they are and deal with them better, so I will be interested to hear what she has to say.

Thanks again for lovely and understanding posts.

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Tatties · 27/11/2006 14:18

Franny did you talk to your LLL leader? It must be strange to think that the bf relationship might be coming to an end soon. I know sometimes we'd rather not do it, but there is no denying that bf has been an important part of both of your lives for so long - of course you want it to end on a happy note. Whatever happens I'm sure you will have more than met your ds's needs.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 28/11/2006 20:58

Sorry Tatties this thread had dropped off my watch list

I didn't manage to get her on the phone yet (there is a particular leader I want to speak with)

I think we will muddle through, it seems to be ticking along ok for the most part. He is eating like a shire horse so maybe he was just really hungry and not feeling satisfied with a small amount?

May start thread on his food in fact, I need some help with that

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HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 29/11/2006 11:14

aw franny

please let us know what she says

ds and I went through something like this at around 15 months and it concluded with him being weaned...I have always regretted it...but I had no access to stuff like LLL (didn't know they existed!) or MN (ditto)

take care x

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 30/11/2006 12:22

I am going to phone her again in a minute.

Ds said today "When I am 4 I won't have milkies anymore." That is the first time he has ever intimated that he will stop one day

Hallelujah!

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sputnik · 01/12/2006 12:39

Just to give you my experience, my DD, 2.5, went for ages on one or two smallish feeds a day and supply seemed to keep up no problem, even if we skipped 1 or 2 or even 3 feeds. She was feeding to sleep though and I'm not sure whether at a certain point in the feed maybe it ran out and she kept sucking anyway.

I decided to wean very recently as I am pg and thought it would be a big deal for her. We told her for a couple of weeks in advance that she would stop soon and she def got the message. Anyway, the big day comes and I grit my teeth..... nothing happens! She just fell asleep (v. quickly) cuddling, with no complaint or distress whatsoever. I think it was a bigger deal for me than for her in the end. We've had no problems since, she occasionally lunges at a breast in bed of a morning then giggles her head off and that's it. I have no regrets, either about feeding for what many would consider a long time, or about stopping, and will be doing it all again with no.2 when the time comes.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 01/12/2006 12:44

Oh great stuff sputnik, that is good to hear and very heart warming to hear that weaning was so trauma free for you all. I did phone again yesterday but can't seem to catch the Leader in so far. I could talk to another Leader but particularly value this woman's advice and she knows my son as well which helps.

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