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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

My local paper is asking for views on public breastfeeding!

50 replies

satine · 23/11/2006 09:31

There have been a few letters recently in the Chichester Observer as a result of a mother being asked to leave a restaurant because she was breastfeeding.
The editorial bit says:

"Should breastfeeding be allowed in shops and cafes, or is it too embarrassing for other customers? Do you sympathise with shops? Are you an embarrassed customer? Are you a new mum too scared to breastfeed in public?
Let us know what you think!
Email your views to [email protected] "

I've written a two page letter, now I'm handing over to you, wonderful MN ladies!

OP posts:
Original poster
satine · 23/11/2006 10:03

Please help!

OP posts:
RanToTheHills · 23/11/2006 10:06

sorry, a quick comment?
It shouldn't be a problem, it rarely has been for me where I live. I've breastfed in public including in cafes many a time and only once been asked to leave (from a pub). I think I'm discreet about it though, which helps as I think many older people esp men go get embarrassed if they see anything but the baby's head.

RanToTheHills · 23/11/2006 10:08

just to add - as a 2nd time mum I was't too embarrassed. As a 1st timer, it was a nightmare but not just because of the potential embarrassment but because of my inexperience and v difficult 1st baby.

Original poster
satine · 23/11/2006 10:15

Rantothethills - thanks so much for your comments, but I guess I didn't explain properly - I was just hoping that if anyone felt strongly enough about the subject, they might email the newspaper in support of bf mums.
But I'm so pleased to hear that things are a bit more enlightened where you live. Chichester is a bit backward!

OP posts:
LucyJu · 23/11/2006 10:22

I'll gladly email them. I think it's very sad that breastfeeding mothers are sometimes made to feel embarassed or uncomfortable about feeding their babies.
I got chatting to a lady at a village fete last year who had a baby the same sort of age as my dd - i.e about 6 months old. She was feeding her dd ebm from a bottle, and I remember thinking how sad it was that some women felt so uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public that they felt it was necessary to go to all the trouble of making up a bottle of ebm.

RanToTheHills · 23/11/2006 10:24

I used ebm in a bottle 1st time round, not out of embarrassment but out of sheer pain. Bfing direct did not work with ds1. Could have been the reason in this case? I think most women give up bfing not out of embarrassment but from a lack of proper face-to-face support from mws/counsellors/family members whatever.

LucyJu · 23/11/2006 10:28

A couple of comments from the lady in question made it clear that she breastfed at home, but used ebm when out and about. Basically, she was worried about potential bad reactions from other people.

Cappuccino · 23/11/2006 10:30

oh yes Lucy my friend was like that

such a bleeding faff

I would email them but, like, don't you have to be local? When I worked on a local newspaper it was kind of like the law

CurrantBun · 23/11/2006 10:41

If women want to breastfeed in public places and are happy and comfortable doing so, then I think that's their right and they should not be made to feel embarrassed about doing so.

Personally I just wouldn't feel comfortable with it. I wouldn't even go topless on the beach on holiday when my boobs were nice and small and perky, so there's no way I'm getting them out in public when they're twice their usual size, leaking milk and covered in attractive blue veins!

miao · 23/11/2006 10:42

It is such a hypocritical attitude from a country that has Page 3 girls, or perhaps that's the reason, the total sexualisation of breasts.

Here in Italy it is quite the norm to breastfeed in public and it really is very rare that anyone will raise so much as an eyebrow. No one's ever said a word when I've whipped my boob out in a cafe, posh restaurant, supermarket or even in the aisle of a DIY superstore! In fact, I usually get asked if I'd like a cushion or a more comfortable chair. And there are plenty of tits and bums on telly here too, so it's not like breasts are only ever viewed as maternal appendages.

I find it really sad that people actually get told off for doing something that is so natural and inoffensive.

TeeCee · 23/11/2006 10:48

I think it's disgusting that anyone should be made to feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding their child in public. It's the most natural thing in the world, it's a beautiful thing, anyone that see's it any differently - well that's their problem and if they don't like seeing it then they don't have to look.

Women'd bodies are used to sell completly unrelated products and we are constantly confronted by the near naked female body. If you want to take offence to anything take offence with that.

A mother quietly and discreetly feeding her baby, whereever she is, should be applauded.

RanToTheHills · 23/11/2006 10:49

I know what you mean, but I think much of the UK is like this too! When I've bfed in public, I've mainly had kindly looks from people or comments such as "how nice to see a mum feeding an x month old baby". I really haven't felt uncomfortable. Are some people so anxious that they're misreading the attitudes of others, I wonder? I'm sure there are areas where it is more difficult but this is not necessarily the norm.

GoingQuietlyMad · 23/11/2006 11:11

I have emailed him this:

As a regular visitor to Chichester, I am really disappointed that some people think that breastfeeding should not be seen in public. I accept that some people may feel embarrassed, but should this be put before the needs and rights of a baby to be fed? When babies are tiny, they have to be fed very frequently, and as much as you may try to avoid feeding in public, there will always be a time when you get caught out.

Sadly with my second baby I always breastfed in the car, because I felt so worried that people would stare or comment. But once or twice when I didn't have the car with me, I had to use a restaurant or cafe, and I am horrified to think that I would have been asked to leave. What is more offensive to a restaurant diner, a discreetly breastfeeding baby or a screaming baby?

TeeCee · 23/11/2006 11:27

oh sorry, was so annoyed I missed that we could email him
Righjt, off to pretend I live locally!

TeeCee · 23/11/2006 11:30

I basically just sent him my post, but corrected my spelling mistakes!

kiskidee · 23/11/2006 11:31

right, time to organise a feed in. what's the name of the restaurant?

TeeCee · 23/11/2006 11:50

Eeek, ha haaaa, he just emaile dme back and asked me for my address!

"Can we have a name and address for the letter, please - we don't necessarily have to publish these. Peter Homer"

!!!!! I gave him my name but said I didn't want to give out my address.

kittywits · 23/11/2006 12:31

I am really offended when my eyes are assulted by overweight young women who have shorhorned themselves into clothes that are far too small and have rolls of exposed fat hanging over the sides of theor trousers.
Perhaps I should ask them to leave the resturant I"m eating in because it puts me off my food. I'm amazed that woman are STILL feeling akward about feeding their own babies with their own bodies. grr it makes me mad, maybe I should find the time to email this bloke

bctmum · 23/11/2006 12:49

If I was in ChiCHESTer I'd go and bf my toddler in that restaurant - plus my other older kids.

All those embarrassed people could get really red in the face and just think I would have been ALLOWED!!!! to bf - makes me laugh that bit

kiskidee · 23/11/2006 12:54

i would join you BCT if i was there too. my dd is 19 months and about a month ago she realised that boobies are always there and wants a topup every time it crosses her mind. She does so with all sorts of acrobatics too.

I think they would have to call the police to ask me to leave. And even then, i would ask the police under what code violation they are removing me. i would do it just to get the issue into the national press.

suedonim · 23/11/2006 14:30

Scotland has made it an offence to stop anyone from breastfeeding in a public place. Maybe Chichester needs to join the 21st Century...

HowTheFillyjonkStoleChristmas · 23/11/2006 14:41

oh ffs though

look at how the thing is phrased

so fecking what if it is "too embarassing" for other customers. WFT has that got to do with it?

This idea that babies should not be fed in public because some prat presumably has their head in some sort of vice that means they can't just look away?

I kind of don't even want to debate it...but clearly there is a need for it...I find it bloody irresponsible though, with the appalling rates of bf in this country, cos what new mothers need on top of everything else is to read a letter of some Sun reader who thinks all breasts should be kept to Page 3.

thankyoupoppet · 23/11/2006 15:03

soon as I find out which cafe it is I will be there like a shot with my toddler!

only trouble is he doesn't take booby in public! -too nosy and interested in everything else normally.

I'm local so will be e-mailing too.

Must admit though, when ds2 got a bit bigger (10 months ish) I did feel a sudden awkwardness about feeding in public. although probably all down to my own feelings of the fact that his head is huge and my boobs are so small now I am amazed they can hold more than a teaspoon of milk!

why on earth anyone else would be embarressed if someone was b/f I do not know!

compo · 23/11/2006 15:11

I have emailed, how are they to know I'm not local?!! i think it's great you posted - they will be amazed at how many emails they get!!

compo · 23/11/2006 15:13

damn they've just emailed back asking for an address. Can you help me make one up!!

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