Please help - morning feed making us and baby miserable

[Firsttimer9981]

My lo is 10 weeks old. She has expressed breast milk for all feeds apart from her 11pm dream feed, when she has formula. She has infant gaviscon for reflux, which seems to work somewhat but gives her constipation. She has gripe water for colic which seems to help with the tummy ache but not so much with getting her wind up. I'm following a routine which is working well for her generally and for us:

7am - feed, play, nap/quiet time
10:30am - feed, play, nap/quiet time
2pm - feed, play, nap/quiet time
5:30pm - half feed, play
6:15pm - nappy off time, bath
7pm - feed, bed time
11pm - dream feed

She normally wakes between 4-5am for a feed and I give her a reduced feed so she's ready to take the 7am feed.

I have two questions though. Firstly, she doesn't settle after her 4am feed. I've tried everything. We have blackout curtains, we have no talking, we have a sleep sack so no disturbing her when I put her down again. She'll fall asleep on me and stay asleep for a couple of minutes when I put her down, but then wakes up again. She falls asleep for a couple of minutes with her dummy then wakes crying, we do this cycle until 7am when we get up. She will stay asleep if I put her in bed with me, but I'm really reluctant to do that as it doesn't feel safe. Has anyone got any ideas? I don't think it's because she's had enough sleep as she seems tired still.

My other issue, which is making us feel desperate, we get her up at 7am and feed her at about 10 past once we've changed her nappy. She is content but must be hungry because of only having a much reduced feed at 4/5am, but she'll have a couple of sucks on her bottle then scream like she's in pain. She'll settle with a dummy, then take a couple of sucks again and scream again. This generally isn't an issue with any other feed. I feel like we're hurting her and I don't know what to do. I can cope with waking every 5 minutes from 4am but this 7am feed is driving my husband and I to despair. I don't know whether this is related to her not settling after 4am. For example, does she have silent reflux after her 4am feed which keeps her awake and gives her a sore throat, which means her 7am feed is painful to swallow...Any ideas, suggestions or solutions would be much appreciated.

Sorry for the very long post, I just wanted you to have all the info.

Is there a reason you are giving her a reduced feed at 4am? Have you tried giving her a full feed, until she is completely satisfied and seeing if that works?

Have you tried putting a thirst that DH has worn in her Moses basket? Some people use it as a sheet. The scent of him might make her settle. None of your is unlikely to work as she will smell the milk.

Have you tried the usual like swaddling and white noise too?

Story, didn't address the morning feed, which was your question

Is she actively showing signs of hunger at 7am?

Thanks for your response.

We used to give her a full feed at 4am, but it made no positive difference. She just brought the feed back up when lay down despite being held upright for 20 mins after the feed and she wasn't ready for a feed at all at 7am. She doesn't bring it up with a reduced feed. She does show signs of hunger at 7am, but she's not starving hungry I think. I'm trying to stick with the routine because it works great for her for the rest of the day.

We used to swaddle her but she kicks and struggles to get free and ends up upset. We've tried arms in swaddling and arms out. Still the same issue with her not settling after 4am. She's always settled great after her dream feed and fairly well after her 7pm bed time feed.

We've tried white noise and it works for about 10 mins then she's off again.

I've tried putting my tshirt in the cot but not my husbands. I'll definitely try that tonight.

If she will settle in bed with you after 4am, have you got the guidelines on how to share a bed safely? If you follow the guidelines, it is actually safer than not bed sharing