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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why must people give me reasons NOT to breastfeed? Grrrrrrrrr!

18 replies

Charleesunnysunsun · 21/11/2006 12:16

Im just posting this to vent my frustration as i am getting vair annoyed!

My friends and family keep making little comments about me breastfeeding DS2 that sound like they are trying to get me to give up, which i'm not prepared to do as i'm doing really well! (even if i do say so myself!)

I keep getting comments like -

'If you bottle fed you could have a rest while someone else fed him for you.'

'Oh yes breast fed babies are quite fussy - its becuase you never know how much there getting.'

'Well that's the trouble with breast feeding you can't drink at xmas.'

ect ect ect blah blah blah it's quite annoying, my midwife said im doing well and DS2 is eating and putting on wieght fine! Why can;t they just sod off!

Luckily my DP has been very spportive.

OP posts:
CorrieDale · 21/11/2006 12:22

And it's not even true!!!! DS wasn't fussy except at cluster time, and you can have a drink at Christmas. Perhaps not get absolutely hammered, but you can definitely drink. Check out the alcohol & Tiktok threads.

And this myth that if you bottlefeed you get lots of rest???? Bleurgh! Bobbybob did this absolutely belting quote on this subject: "I personally have not seen one couple where dad has done anything other than sit there holding the bottle, talking about how it's a good break for his dp, whilst she is throwing everything in a steriliser with one hand whilst hoovering with the other." OK, so it was about expressing, but it applies to formula just as well, I expect.

Just let it all wash over you! And well done to both you and your supportive DP - I often think that having DP on board is more than half the battle.

DizzyBint · 21/11/2006 12:24

what a load of old rubbish. they maybe mean well and are concerned for you for really they don't have a clue do they?!

good for you for carrying on.

KathyMCMLXXII · 21/11/2006 12:24

None of the 3 are true anyway (well, 1 sort of, but you can easily express and get s/o else to feed)

thepoppy · 21/11/2006 12:25

think kit's mostly from people who didn't manage it themselves, so makes them feel better if you fail too. Either that or total lack of knowledge on thr subject.
I've just tried to ignore my gran and MIL when they start. I'm lucky in that DH and mum are supportive, and mum had all the same crap from gran with my brother and sister. Still gets me v v annoyed when they constantly hint at suplementing.

Original poster
Charleesunnysunsun · 21/11/2006 12:26

I know there not true, its just annoying im being made to feel like an outsider none of my family of friends ever breastfed but i was determined to do it, the worst ting is they knew i was worried about it as i had heard horror stories about bleeding nips and such things so for them to then put down what im doing after they know how worried i was makes me mad!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 21/11/2006 12:28

I expect they're saving the reasons to breastfeed for anyone they know who's bottlefeeding .

Glad to hear your DS2 is doing well, and you're ignoring the mad comments ...

CorrieDale · 21/11/2006 12:28

lol NQC

CantWaitForTheSnow · 21/11/2006 12:29

Get them to post their views on mn

CantWaitForTheSnow · 21/11/2006 12:31

Have you considered printing off some well chosen pages from somewhere like Kellymom and leaving them lying around?

jingleboobs · 21/11/2006 12:31

i am having the exat same problem at 4 months ignore if your fine and baby is fine carry on they are jealous coz they want to feed him

must say tho if you ever do want a brek you must give him a oz a day in a bottle so they can learn to take one or do as i do my dd has a soft spout for a cup on the hv advice and she seems fine with it

WhizzBangCaligula · 21/11/2006 12:37

It's because they can't cope with the idea of someone breastfeeding. They just can't have it, for some reason.

and it'll get worse as the baby gets bigger. They'll start telling you it's actually bad for him then. Just you wait!

Honeymum · 21/11/2006 13:17

It's because they just don't get it - BF means you have both hands free which is great if it's your first as you can operate the remote control, take phonecalls, write thank you letters and generally loll about while baby takes hours feeding. With subsequent children, it's much easier when you are out and about to whip a boob out, especially these days when preparing formula has to be done fresh each time. And tell them to get lost with that "it makes the dad feel left out/bottle feeding let's him help out" crap. He can do everything else while you concentrate on the baby - that's how it's supposed to be and that's why he doesn't have the equipment and we do!

And of course - why would you want to give your baby milk that's designed for baby cows. And it's FREE!

(Can you tell that you've touched a nerve?!)

MandMand · 21/11/2006 13:40

I'm happily still breastfeeding my four month old, but I remember one of the first things my Mum said to me after I told her I was pregnant was "don't even think about trying to feed the baby yourself - its too draining". She still seems to think that just because she did something a certain way with me and my brother when we were babies, if I don't do the same, its some kind of criticism of her. I keep reminding myself though that the advice she was given 30 years ago was totally different to what we know now, so I'm doing the best for my baby, just the same as she tried to do the best for us back then.

terramum · 21/11/2006 14:40

Im not surprised your getting annoyed with comments like that.

How about turning them round with some nice retorts:

'If you bottle fed you could have a rest while someone else fed him for you.'
Sorry but my idea of a rest isnt washing & steralising bottles [or expressing if they mention using ebm] All I have to do is sit down on the sofa & whip my boob out - hardly exhausting really!

'Oh yes breast fed babies are quite fussy - its becuase you never know how much there getting.'
...not quite sure how a baby is fussy because of something you cannot see!! Tell them you can see perfectly well how much your LO is getting..then take them over to the pile of nappies he has produced that day - what goes in must come out!

'Well that's the trouble with breast feeding you can't drink at xmas.'
Total bollox ....no harm in a couple of drinks occasionally. See here for details.

You & your DH both might want to memorise some of the comments here . Well done you on bfing in the face of such ignorance & opposition!

Mummykt · 21/11/2006 14:41

How familiar this sounds. Still feeding mine at 5 and a half months and have never given her a bottle. FIL constatnly asks whether I have given her a bottle yet, and MIL goes on about how I will have to stop when she gets teeth (!). I plan to carry on for as long as it suits me and dd. It can be very demoralising to feel you haven't got tyhe support. If I ever say I am tired then DH will say that it is my choice to BF - as if I have made my bed so I shoudl lie in it!

MKG · 21/11/2006 15:05

I had comments but I'm on the other side. I formula fed and got a hard time from my family for not being successful at bfing. It's terrible when people don't support your choices. Instead of defending my decisions I found that "shut the hell up" seemed to make them leave me alone. It's not the most polite approach, but I've found it very effective

harpsichordcarrier · 21/11/2006 15:12

what a load of old toss people talk.
here, please borrow my favourite expression:

olivhohoho · 21/11/2006 16:07

lol corriedale @ bobbybob quote! how true....

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