Was all set to tell ds no more breastfeeding and then...

[dinny]

I thought'd call NCT bf-ing helpline as suddenly panicked I may get mastitis/blocked ducts again and counsellor was lovely but made me feel so guilty about stopping (said had I thought of the effect stopping just like that would have on ds) that I have gone back on my word and fed him this moring. had bought him new sippy cup he was really into (pic of elephant on it - he loved idea of 'elephant juice') and now feel we've taken a massive step backwards!!!

he usually has long feed in bed in the morning, sometimes one at lunchtime and one in the evening (unless he's poorly, then has lots more).

was I wrong to try and stop from tht amount of feeds cold turkey? could it psychologically damage him to stop suddenly? also, would boobs explode, is it best to get down to one feed and stop from there?

sorry, have posted on this topic a few times before!!! tia

In my experience it is best to drop a feed at a time; but you also need to consider your feelings - if you really want to stop now, there shouldn't be any long term problems.

Dinny what age is ds? Can you tell us why you feel you want to stop now? (sorry if you have gone into all this before, but it might help you to clarify it in your mind)

I think it is generally believed that stopping gradually is easier and gentler on the child, but there are different ways of doing things and an agreed sudden weaning can work well if the child is older.

Of course breastfeeding is going to be very important to your ds, and suddenly having any form of comfort taken away is obviously going to have an effect on him. However I am sure you can think of ways to make the transition less stressful for ds if you decide this is what yu want / need to do.

Dinny, b/feeding came to an end for me when dd was 30 mths partly because i was away from her for longer periods and partly because she wanted less.
So for example,I was out more often at night when she went to bed,and in the morning,often got up before her so the opportunity to get into bed with me for a feed didn't present itself.

I would have felt mean stopping suddenly.

Message withdrawn

Hmmm.....did the counsellor 'make' you feel guilty, dinny, or merely raise a question you had in your own mind and ask you to think about it?

I know I get calls from mothers who are stopping/thinking of stopping and who have questions to ask....in your case, you presumably asked about mastistis and blocked ducts as a result of stopping bf.

It is part of her job to explore the issues with you, so you can be clear of your options.

In your case, I would have talked about the physiological side ie how breasts can adapt to not producing milk if the weaning is gradual, and I would have asked how important it was to stop now, or if there is some leeway.

Calls often take 20-30 mins, and it is almost certain we would have talked about your child's behaviour and responses, and yes, we would probably have explored the effect a sudden withdrawal of breastfeeding might have on your child - not to 'make you feel guilty' but to allow you to think of ways to make weaning easier for both of you. There are ways of approaching this that are not judgemental or criticising, and which leave the decision up to the mother.

The NCT counsellor did not make you feed your ds again - unless she's moved into your house with a very big stick!! - but she allowed you to think about the options you had and their possible ramifications. I hope she did it in a way that didn't judge or pressure you - and in the end left the decision to you.

helolo, thanks for your posts. right, am back to our usual feeding pattern (which is whenever ds wants) and am feeling soooo much better about things. think I was feeling bit pressured by a couple of friends saying I should just stop really.
so....am just going to do whatever ds and I want - can't bear to upset my little one, he loves feedin sooooo much and so do I.

so, Tiktok, NCT counsellor didn't make me feel bad, she did, as you said, helped me think about my true feelings! but am going to do the 'don't refuse, don't offer' thing, I think

Glad you cleared that up about the counsellor 'making' you feel something, dinny, and glad you seem to have found a way that is ok for you